FUNNY BOOK QUOTES

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

“The first draft of anything is s**t.” – Ernest Hemingway

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.” – Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” – Don Marquis

“I haven’t developed my opinion on everything yet, so I don’t offend anyone.” – Bill Watterson

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.” – Unknown

“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” – Stephen King

“The only time I feel confident saying ‘I can do this’ is when I’m troubleshooting my own computer.” – Unknown

“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright

“Books may well be the only true magic.” – Alice Hoffman

“God created sleep so that we could have breakfast.” – Daniel Pennac

“Wine is sunlight, held together by water.” – Galileo Galilei GOOD NIGHT ONE LINER QUOTES

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.” – Lemony Snicket

“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

“I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.” – Richard Feynman

“I am in no way interested in immortality, but only in the taste of tea.” – Lu T’ung

“I was born too late to explore the world, and too early to explore the universe. But just in time for the internet to tell me I’m doing everything wrong.” – Unknown

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

“I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.” – Ed Bluestone

“I walked into a bookstore and asked the woman for a map, and she said, “Wait a minute, I’ll call my husband. He’s read every book in the store.”” – Steven Wright

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde