FUNNY CATHOLIC SAINT QUOTES

“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up — they have no holidays.” – St. Teresa of Avila

“Do not be anxious about anything, except for the results of your fantasy football league.” – St. Augustine

“I was going to join a gym, but I thought, ‘What if it interferes with my couch potato spirituality?'” – St. John Vianney

“Love your enemies, but don’t hesitate to boo them at a rival sporting event.” – St. Francis de Sales

“Ask not what your Church can do for you, ask what you can do for the potluck dinner.” – St. Mother Teresa

“The only reason I’m not a vegetarian is because bacon isn’t considered a sin.” – St. Thomas Aquinas

“You cannot serve both God and your smartphone.” – St. Ignatius of Loyola

“Pray to God, but row away from the rocks.” – St. Thomas More

“I believe in angels, because I truly believe every hairstylist is heaven-sent.” – St. Catherine of Siena

“Be a sinner and sin boldly, but don’t forget to go to confession.” – St. Augustine

“I can resist everything except temptation… and a good sale.” – St. Therese of Lisieux

“The rosary is the best accessory any Catholic can wear… next to a smile.” – St. Frances Xavier Cabrini

“If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need… except for a reliable wifi connection.” – St. Thomas More

“The only way to have a friend is to be one… unless you have a Netflix subscription.” – St. Emily de Vialar

“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family… and turn off your sibling’s video games.” – St. Mother Teresa L LOVE MY BEST FRIEND QUOTES

“Joy is the simplest form of gratitude… unless you’re trying to parallel park in front of the confessional.” – St. Teresa of Calcutta

“Pray, hope, and don’t worry… unless you forgot to set your alarm for Sunday Mass.” – St. Padre Pio

“Holiness does not consist in not falling, but in rising every time we fall… and blaming the devil for the slippery floor.” – St. Francis de Sales

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less… unless you’re trying to fit into skinny jeans.” – St. Mother Teresa

“The secret of happiness is to live moment by moment and to thank God for all that He, in His goodness, sends to us… including coffee.” – St. Gianna Beretta Molla

“If you want to be holy, be kind… and share your pizza.” – St. Teresa of Calcutta

“Anxiety is the greatest evil that can befall a soul, except for accidentally using emojis in a formal email.” – St. Francis de Sales

“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible… like finding matching socks in the morning.” – St. Francis of Assisi

“Do small things with great love… unless it’s taking out the trash – then just do it quickly.” – St. Mother Teresa

“The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness… and extra guacamole.” – St. Pope John Paul II

“It is not the greatest faith, but the greatest charity, that pleases God… and prompts you to donate your winning lottery ticket.” – St. Thomas Aquinas

“The liturgy is the summit toward which the activity of the Church is directed; it is also the source from which all its power flows… and the reason you’re still confused about when to stand and when to sit.” – St. Pope Paul VI

“The joy of the Lord is your strength… along with a well-timed caffeine boost.” – St. Mother Teresa

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire… with your incredible dance moves.” – St. Catherine of Siena