![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TU3dTUjhsVFZTYWFMd0NQYk4zUVFCMFBsRjk3QWpLcG1tcmZjZDU2Q2FwQWU2WHk2NUtSdk15S3hTSlJrSXhvaUtNWEZHQm9EaEpGQjB2bmF1WmpZcUR3RUFPTVhaWWFQTnMrZ0hqa0Q5TzFteDc1YzN1MFhnQWhFYWtIWTZTbzl3PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(1b545088d99e92b1feb6b6cd5ae9bb58).jpg)
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMenFwQzZteElYSTJqZ2dBSWdHZC9XTzFlTGFlQ3NEaEVTMis3REhIcGZHODc3YjNqWFZKWGVISWY1cDA0ZTJtWnM3b1UxRU81K1FwQlBqRmZNQXVUR1l6THM1Y3l1eGdrcVJzaS9xa2wxWW9RTmVSWGVkY1JBOEZuMVJJZUhiZGJTaGtXWGQ4aG85bzJwVSt0Vjl6aVZnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(76ef9b9b76e6bd33e4c845466aa2fb2a).jpg)
“Christmas: the only time of year when it’s acceptable to bribe children into behaving.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMM0N2Z2UxTkJETGtjUGRyTjZoZUFjSWpQZFp4S1RpL2UxcmNZMEZvS3ZKWlh6VkxvK285VW8zOEMzVmZ3Wkg2QWE1S3dpaWdRUGE3TkJsWFpEOTRLVDd3djgvNWRoUUlOd3hJR3BObGtyOHhNNUZ4aWI0NUExcG5TTWJhQksrcExjczMvTC9RWWt4MW5Gb1NpRFo3NkMwPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(e5633153010f3eb222b5e8a454773abd).jpg)
“Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had low “elf” esteem!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOFRVYU4wRFNBeXpadTJBa1VkdU5mZUUvZm1DMUowMGM4YUE5dm5JZW5jMDdLMGh5S3lXRG5QZ3lkSi9RR1d1ODM5eFc4cFhpbEVXQWJTTDUrYit3RXRud3BoNUpJQjlkOXJVelluaVhQaGp3VmN3by95bzJMdHAzdTc1dnFaMC9wc0FBYlVPOVdoUy9ONVlYU1NKaVlVNS9URGcxd3B1b2xRcFBWOXRMRWdNU2hMTHhrQ1kxbUpqRGxBTUhzYWZNQT09/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(fc6cffe010378ee9070de6ceb3e1a6a8).jpg)
“I told my wife she should be more ambitious. She replied, ‘Okay, I’ll start by wanting nothing for Christmas.'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeW42SlhFWmhEV2xnYyttTWlONTRUZXl1dWZnVXZGTkxHdlBPTWJNRGlEcmk2YjlwYkhheWY4aVlLZ3hrUHpCdUVjU1NJSFhEbXZ6RXA0RGt5QzVhTGFzS1JaQTI5aU5ZYWtqTnl5RVpicGlqcS9ZMEpVQzFhc25DZVcvQndSSC9hU1d6MzJVdVNsNUdLMG5OMDE2ZHRKT3c0d2swbmdFWTFUandndjJKQVEybGIvZWEyd0tWNnIxTFZvbTBwYnBUUT09/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(7d46673efb053de0383a12c7ea209104).jpg)
“Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMXY5SzVYaGxQSWhQNENyN0Y5VWwxR2lrTmUzU2EydXYwMzFBTi9NYUVVdUM2cm8wZUQrSlBvVDBqdkRNeVdVQTQ9/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(fede196d492bf43347a5cdbf3d109209).jpg)
“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeGIrTjJ4aXo0Rld5T3NwMU9pZmcwNnliR3VZUkJxV2JUWnFVUkNQM0g0UEdKRjA4M3J0b0l0NThsTFF1bE05ZTdqdGZkMEJqUlJpYWdDaE5vWjhXSzRrL0MyaUFyd2ltbzNqQ0owUkptWmU%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(b2889ff5e389beded2359413062cdc03).jpg)
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd2lUem5vUVdtbnlVVVdXbGRlWXpXdCt4MlNVSE1WeFc2WUFEdnRiZ3hRdW9LcW44aTd0SXRad3lMS1NNWTJGRHY1REFoM1VlY1RDTkpYUytYNE1nSUZpUXlJUVUxQ1FEYmt4QlNZSGZYQXg0YTFiUkZsNW5aVURReDBXZFdpTGowOGZlTjZiTXAzeXBvblZra0ZISmRoSnUwQ0w2Zm5VUHlBNjVlcnZMTDdS/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(420ce0e35183cd5b42afd0e0dea15231).jpg)
“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMenFwQzZteElYSTJqZ2dBSWdHZC9XTVJraTdDZ2xIeWhtT1FwbFdpcE9CcHMxSktKTlpnZzRXQVMzdWhCeEZLMHdVeFB1MFRLZzhDaFBNcFVPY0I5NUQ2Q1dJYjhzMWdKVXRpam5LcnAveVhEa3V3cSsyd1JBMDM1R0p1RHNkdjRnPT0%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(30c9367f6c06fd5eda0183983522b0ca).jpg)
“Christmas with family: exhausting; Christmas with wine: quite delightful.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeEQ1RzhRdTVKeElvd2k2UEZ6c0NKakNGeVFHWW1KaklVcmRpR3ErVjdHcFEvdms2YnY4aU9kYkY4Nm1CbkRuYWIxd21YZllVdlhFSmtlV2hoRk9ZL3M2TXF5V3NQdExCZUVOSTBPUHNqL1JpemZqek12K2t4UW90QjJWM1Z3R3dBPT0%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(ba5a6ddb2c51692b1723370db185d013).jpg)
“Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMVBKaXg5cE1OSUZpdGZkeW9zbm9XcFVtdEJzckgwQmM1amt6TXQxME5RVFZBWlJIZ0o4QVRGMXNhMGtza2x3R3hVcEJaZ0oxajlHbmNYUll3NjYxUEZhOTNkakQwNjhRek1vYytqaFpGT1g4bTZ2OXk5ZFFCTXQrbmtGZDZsWCt2Wm5RTFRUK09sbkFGV1I1OFdTTVR5TEJnTVhFM00vOUxOM0MyYWVPSjlhdlRLT21NWm1Fa3pDYWdxN1JXd3lPdz09/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(5a3f248f35174c9781334d408e6f81dc).jpg)
“The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMenFwQzZteElYSTJqZ2dBSWdHZC9XT0tkYm5yNWh2VTFxZ011eUhKZW52ZysvdGQwdC9sNjdEU25KOGlnaWdjT2xnSzQwaWRzMExRQlZRenRQTk83bE9pWTdZSE9NOU91cU1ya0wzT3krcTVqeEVmbnY0V291T3BQSm5CQW1iQTU1Q3VTcHpWMlZ1MUlvTmJuNTQvcUp3PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(a41fee07e98285d01987f684e238c51f).jpg)
“Christmas is the time when everyone wants their past forgotten and their present remembered.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMkdFYlpnWnk0TG9QN0JnWlA1SzNDVkk2djlCdUhpbTQ2TzdHSzZkbjlESUVaNWNEWlUwa0dPSXFPdDgxR2ViZU5KRU9tMlZacnpFT1BXWlBEVlhudk14OUhoOXBieFlKZnpVOU5WSjlvNnBBVDZCMDYzMXRYcFYxYjM3TGMxOFBRPT0%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(97a9e04046826647efd107116d96b2cf).jpg)
“Santa’s biggest fear? Claustrophobia!” MOTHER TERESA LOVE THEM ANYWAY QUOTE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeFFLWmlGMk01b1BscU1TZ3pBY1pPMGJiL21uVEUvbmlxZlpySW1rUW43V3JmWEl1Q202dnlPYlFGTGprWnRia3h6T0VudXJVNURoVkp0YTEvV2dDQStZWnQwTXhCczg0dlBXNlZ3RnBYMUEySmpsSU1naE1McTc2bkI3bEJHOHBYR1Bjb0VRY2lvdk9aY2NuKzE2MU8yOElqMWJIN2xsVkFETmtab3U4QURt/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(eb542859b147f5a7441a41a3c5432145).jpg)
“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMURHSVpBb2tMdUt0eU9SejhwYUIvOFN0RW50SWs3a0xid0hwY2VGSDdzaStGS2UxVU5VQnFQcE9TS1N3TE9hY3ByamFaS3RCeVhOU0ZiQ2plZEdEZXE0NGh4MktZbFVRbXlWM2RFTGErcXU%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(127a7d654a867153c545b21107a3b34f).jpg)
“Who needs snow when you have Christmas spirit…or vodka.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeW42SlhFWmhEV2xnYyttTWlONTRUZHhEZktFRjJCcFFiVzQrdnBIRkRCUzBoODVYMW03Sm9FeHI1bERqRGdXM01uMEQ1c0hkY2lOdWJsSGliYk9DRlBFZ1ZKWG1neHlVbkdGV01NT0kwWHZFckJZSzFGc253ZnRzZi82cDVmRHpVOEFCc2NuU1ErcUdMdTlwZ014WlF6TENYRTc5VHdSRzZBbjdlK0FiOTc1TldIa0FQajV6VE84c0xwZlJUcDRsQT09/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(73da7a06a7f01cc4de893730bb17bb22).jpg)
“Dear Santa, please bring me a big fat bank account and a slim body. P.S. Don’t mix them up like you did last year!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0NwMzFETUFaNE5jSnhJcHl1ZURMRjJnRkdDdHYwNml0cmF6dWlVNmRDa3N3eFQweHRodVlUZmJOTEI5WDJKT0RnVlhraHJUVXllQXNtMTlIYUNlVEYzay9TRGR3dlFXNnlrTnN6WWwxQUk%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(edbea00eb702c65199bab6fb62080903).jpg)
“My favorite thing about Christmas is the office closing early.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeGIrTjJ4aXo0Rld5T3NwMU9pZmcwN3RRTWpqZTZ6ZmtZdzhOenRFY1BxZm5XYmpMZWZxNFpCQmlPbmJibnFNY0k2VVNzaHR2SEJvdzFic3hlRlozOWozVXloRTBxTmJmRDFxdzZYOW43MTluOTRxYjYyQkFyTE44SXlONDJwNjA3clFnNW03T084Wmgxc0Y4cllWSE1jPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(e356963f98c144f9d8d3c90bcd623fb3).jpg)
“Santa Claus has it easy. He only works one day a year, and everyone gives him cookies.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMFVNOHl6ZGRBbEdyZnh0STE2dk51TDlhY01sc1RtNThJUzg0WmUxNFRObHFOcWxudGRSR3ZLTktHUm1wZjVtaVZwNVNGVDkvQzRNS00zeXlYSGVBZGxKWTVBOTVQN3BTRFdQWERqZndmTUFPV0NIeWVyYkJvU1hQbEFRSGtDSFUvN2tzY1BVUEdlczR1a0tGbFZmS3JrPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(49a7004ddecd0a12dccf1688457ae58f).jpg)
“Remember, kids, the best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMGVZeHJGc3Q4Y3ZHQU9nWGl4a2VVcW5wTDF1WS9sMk5TQkZqQ1BaTlY4bDNQaU1la2VkNkxxc1VQMjR1U09QcW5icEJkM3QzRy81YjdnUE00NlFoMFZYSHYyajgzUEl0WFg4MnlyQnpqR254dWNiMkRiTzZMSW85aVpyNE5nZnBBPT0%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(95c2fcfae88aaa33c3ac03e7709b0bff).jpg)
“Do you know why Santa goes down the chimney? Because it soots him!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeTZmRldmYmdsM09rM0VsaUpRN2FKazJmWmdvY3dRZlZCam54ZVZYVUdNQlR5ellCMWVlbmx5Tkw0RktCTUhTRWVmQ0haNzBjUkRqcFNyV3cwNHVEUDBIYXFLMjIySldBYTZZK1hMWEJ1MUZycDc2UW1OOVRIWnRxT2lKZWRUNkhhUnZsNUtReG5JRiswTk5EQTVDbjkwPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(145f9cc7d467debda304d4fce830c752).jpg)
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNkhKTzRadGJqREhMZnFZalFQaEViOEFXcGRQbDBQaHhQdHJ2WUQ0YmtKNFdndmNWb05YbVpSVk9UYm90M3F0NVVSQWVNVU05M29YaWh5dFhIUzUwb2w2UEdHSXdqVC9IQ3N6NXhyKzNFR0NqKzkyVEp2T0M3ODJSVmQwVm55Q0puTjlrQ2lPZk5UbDJiQ3BPV0hBaGFZTndXVzBVM0R6Z0hvdWFKRzlwKy9RR1RCYXFJRDZZNGIxVDhqYVFPR0x0Zz09/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(6d6a33b1f0891d3ebad5739cb1a7df15).jpg)
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loud for all to hear… or buy everyone a round of holiday cocktails.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMenFwQzZteElYSTJqZ2dBSWdHZC9XUEFiZThLYVppRzREenBKYnZPdkhXaFdrS2xRMVpyVVlFNmZyaVpVNGNwc0FYSlFsR1E0WFNsU0x6MkpjUk5FN2UzdGF0V2EwMGhRa21GbVBjYlVpSWx3VWxWS3lab2s0S21QSW5VS2tpd1V4S0U5YjhuTEtCdktxMXhML2xWemRVPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(50ebd21c805a9503c0c7489d5edc72e8).jpg)
“Christmas is the time to eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you’ll be dieting.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd1J0dUNybVlRVCtsRkh4OENKbVZkQ2FDd0VNQW1qRUNnaEpzK2puaEUxdzBIV29OV0VxblFaOTRDSUw2ZUliMkR4L1dLYUxMcWdSMENFN1M1dWh1VmpuOExua2lFRENJaFFNbElIalo4aWxla0RhUldzNTJLUHBoNFdldzlLN0RRPT0%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(e8399ab47e13d49411e16dd754bd1443).jpg)
“Why did the ornament go to school? Because it wanted to be a tree topper.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMkFCNm96ZSsyVXF1QVVBR3RkaGt2ZG44cmhsdUsxTXJqQzN5aGhRckZSRGt0cWFKbnN4bGZseW9rZTA2VlZieTMzanpuRzQwYWRpVnBRVVpXYndWWmtoK0VrZEFqeThRZEEvM08rTjcyWW1MWmU3cTgxakxkMS9UTnlPMHc0VVVnPT0%3D/FUNNY+CHRISTMAS+CARD+QUOTES/(c7f7eae7f676addadba678ceb0b78d9e).jpg)
“Santa saw your social media posts. Prepare for a big bag of nothing!”