FUNNY CHRISTMAS CARD QUOTES

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.”

“Christmas: the only time of year when it’s acceptable to bribe children into behaving.”

“Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had low “elf” esteem!”

“I told my wife she should be more ambitious. She replied, ‘Okay, I’ll start by wanting nothing for Christmas.'”

“Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.”

“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.”

“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.”

“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.”

“Christmas with family: exhausting; Christmas with wine: quite delightful.”

“Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.”

“The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.”

“Christmas is the time when everyone wants their past forgotten and their present remembered.”

“Santa’s biggest fear? Claustrophobia!” MOTHER TERESA LOVE THEM ANYWAY QUOTE

“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day.”

“Who needs snow when you have Christmas spirit…or vodka.”

“Dear Santa, please bring me a big fat bank account and a slim body. P.S. Don’t mix them up like you did last year!”

“My favorite thing about Christmas is the office closing early.”

“Santa Claus has it easy. He only works one day a year, and everyone gives him cookies.”

“Remember, kids, the best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.”

“Do you know why Santa goes down the chimney? Because it soots him!”

“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loud for all to hear… or buy everyone a round of holiday cocktails.”

“Christmas is the time to eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you’ll be dieting.”

“Why did the ornament go to school? Because it wanted to be a tree topper.”

“Santa saw your social media posts. Prepare for a big bag of nothing!”