“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.”

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.”

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Buddy the Elf

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red!”

“Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth, sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.”

“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries Not Included.”

“Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.”

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.”

“The awkward moment when Santa gets stuck in the chimney and you have to explain to the kids why he won’t be visiting this year.”

“The best Christmas decorations are parties and laughs with friends and family.”

“Christmas waves a magic wand over the world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.”

“I’m not Santa Claus, but you can still sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas.”

“The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.” THE BEST WAY TO RUIN A GOOD EMPLOYEE QUOTE

“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.”

“Who needs snowflakes when you have friends with icy personalities?”

“Christmas is the time when everyone wants their past forgotten and their present remembered.”

“Dear Santa, define ‘nice’.”

“I put so much thought into your present that it’s now too late to buy it.”

“Why did Santa go to music school? Because he himsELF.”

“Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s shirt size.”

“What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.”

“Christmas is the only time of year where it is acceptable to have candy canes as a meal.”

“What did one snowman say to the other snowman? ‘Do you smell carrots?'”

“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.”

“Who needs mistletoe when you can have Netflix and pizza?”