FUNNY COMRADE QUOTES

“In the Soviet Union, you don’t get to choose the potato. The potato chooses you!” – Unknown

“In Russia, we don’t have a saying ‘curiosity killed the cat.’ In Russia, curiosity is strongly encouraged!” – Unknown

“Why did the Soviet chicken cross the road? To support the collective effort of the proletariat, of course!” – Unknown

“In Soviet Russia, joke laughs at you!” – Unknown

“Communism may be a red scare, but it keeps us all warm at night!” – Unknown

“In Soviet Russia, we never have a cold war – we have a very chilly peace!” – Unknown

“Why did the communist go to the bakery? To get his daily bread ration!” – Unknown

“In Soviet Russia, bear hugs you!” – Unknown

“I told my comrades I wanted to take up ballet, and they laughed. But I pirouetted away their negativity!” – Unknown

“I walked into the Soviet grocery store asking for chewing gum. They said, ‘We have no gum, just overbite!'” – Unknown

“What’s the difference between capitalism and communism? In capitalism, man exploits man. In communism, it’s the other way around!” – Unknown

“In Soviet Russia, even the potatoes are armed!” – Unknown

“Why do Soviet submarines have glass bottoms? So you can see the old Russian navy!” – Unknown

“I went to visit my comrade in Siberia and told him it was freezing outside. He replied, ‘Don’t worry, it’s a warm day for Siberian standards!'” – Unknown

“Why did the Soviet athlete cross the finish line last? Because he wanted to make sure everyone received equal medals!” – Unknown

“In Soviet Russia, the party starts you!” – Unknown TAKABBUR QUOTES IN ENGLISH

“I asked my comrade if he had read Karl Marx. He replied, ‘No, but I’ve read Groucho Marx!'” – Unknown

“Why did the communist painter only use red paint? Because he was always seeing red!” – Unknown

“In Soviet Russia, even the jokes are owned by the state!” – Unknown

“Why don’t Soviet dogs bark? Because the bark is owned by the government!” – Unknown

“I asked my comrade if he wanted to go dancing, and he said, ‘Sure, I’ve been perfecting my Russian ballet moves in secret!'” – Unknown

“Why did the Soviet professor go to the grocery store? To study the art of bread lines!” – Unknown

“Why did the Soviet ghost want to haunt the KGB headquarters? To scare some Red scares!” – Unknown

“In Soviet Russia, every day is a labor holiday!” – Unknown

“Why did the Soviet chicken become a politician? Because she wanted to lay down the law!” – Unknown

“I asked my comrade if he had seen the latest James Bond movie. He replied, ‘No, but I’ve seen The Spy Who Came in from the Cold War!'” – Unknown

“In Soviet Russia, chess is a popular sport. It’s a game of strategy, just like our five-year plans!” – Unknown

“Why couldn’t the Soviet author finish his book? He had writer’s bloc!” – Unknown

“In Soviet Russia, coffee doesn’t wake you up. It joins you for a morning Soviet Union-ino!” – Unknown

“Why did the Soviet bear refuse to dance? He didn’t want to do the Russian tango!” – Unknown