FUNNY DAILY QUOTES FOR WORK

“I pretend to work as long as they pretend to pay me!”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.”

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”

“I always give 100% at work: 10% on Monday, 20% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 25% on Thursday, and 5% on Friday.”

“I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.”

“I’m not a procrastinator, I’m just committed to doing things at the last minute.”

“Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.”

“Coffee: because adulting is hard.”

“If at first, you don’t succeed, call it version 0.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

“I’m not short-tempered, I just have a quick reaction to nonsense.”

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do, or at least pretend to love it when the boss is around.”

“The only thing standing between me and a million dollars is that I don’t have a million dollars.”

“Work hard, nap harder.”

“Teamwork is important; it helps to blame someone else.”

“I’m not always sarcastic, sometimes I’m asleep.” NO ONE WILL DO IT FOR YOU QUOTES

“I don’t work well under pressure. Unless it involves deadlines and someone else’s money.”

“Success is mostly about finding the right seat in the office cafeteria.”

“When life gives you lemons, ask for a raise.”

“I’m an expert at multitasking, I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.”

“My level of productivity is directly proportional to the distance of my boss from my desk.”

“If you think problems never end, just wait until you meet deadlines.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on power-saving mode!”

“I don’t always have the best ideas at work, but when I do, it’s usually lunchtime.”

“A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.”

“I work well under pressure… as long as nobody is watching.”

“I’m not addicted to work; we’re just in a committed relationship.”

“Friday is my second favorite F-word.”

“I didn’t choose the office life; the office life chose me.”

“The hardest part about my job is pretending to be busy when my boss walks by.”