FUNNY DEADPOOL QUOTES

“With great power comes great merchandising opportunities.”

“I’m just a bad guy who gets paid to f*** up worse guys.”

“I’m not a hero, but I did buy a hero sandwich once. Does that count?”

“I may be super, but I’m no hero.”

“I’m a touchy-feely guy. M’kay? I’m in touch with my feelings, I could kill ’em if I wanted to.”

“I have a lot of things to say about this movie, but none of them can be quoted in polite company.”

“Being bad feels pretty good, huh?”

“I may be uncensored, but I’m not uneducated. I have a GED and everything.”

“I’ve got a sixth sense. Yeah, it’s like my regular sense, but with added bullshit detection.”

“I’m like a trash-talking Spider-Man… with guns.”

“I’m not sure if it’s in the head or the heart, but I’m positively glowing with death.” QUOTES ABOUT LOYALTY AT WORK

“I’m not always the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I do know how to leave a mark.”

“Life doesn’t always give you lemons. Sometimes it sends you jerks in red suits with an appetite for mayhem.”

“My power is that I can talk the villains to death. Literally.”

“I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid of not dying and getting stuck in this hellhole forever.”

“Why wear a mask? I mean, I’m pretty comfortable with who I am. Maybe not anyone else, but definitely me.”

“I don’t just break the fourth wall, I demolish it. And then I build a fifth one. And put a microwave in it, just for kicks.”

“I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t laugh while watching the ‘Jurassic Park’ T-Rex attack scene.”

“You know, they say revenge is a dish best served cold. But that’s not true. I prefer it served with chimichangas and exploding teddy bears.”

“I’m the type of guy who’s always prepared for the zombie apocalypse, except I never went to the gym. So I’m screwed, basically.”