![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TUXVidjQxVDgvN0RWdWozc2hnM254ajlCN0VhUjFJY21UampOTmx6cDdXS3hxZE41RnZzMlVhWVFYbXVPbUJ0aUtCUHhDbHMyU3NHVFBHcGRKRXVtODhSV0ovUTB1dlVleHZYY3g0Y0xqQW5WQ1g3cDRnZU85b2ZZdGFIaTZQWkozSm8zVjVldGRmQ0RPQjloazBENy82OHN1S2RLYm1GQks2Tm0xOUhsTEc4dz09/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(0d23cc24db727df0816baa1fef24f412).jpg)
“I’m not a detective by profession, but I’ll gladly pretend to be one if there’s free pizza involved.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNXVpUElmMGZHQ2QxdEl4TUd0aGNleHl2WVBEU1pYRE9iYWltbGpNQmNYWG5kYXQ0OS9hdyttMjZLd0k5c0h6TEpjRlJWSHZqWFdDd1dIZkZlVHlrSlVsQllncEc1b2hsbEU0K1NIeko5czhDNnNaR3R5ZmtCcTRNRnFtMElaVzFsRmpWcm5iY2JKdnpiZ1NFcktTNG1GcEl3YUZ2VkpMWU5ZSlBLT0JtdEFYZkxibXAxRy9QL2hQcjdrakRiSlVqUT09/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(05672c2150f1c5b04abd7fb2539d1e2b).jpg)
“Being a detective is like being a good comedian; timing is everything, and I just hope the punchline isn’t a murder.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNzY2OXJoRm5JU2FrVmJiTmVjajJOaVpidWJVZm1vKzJZLzAzTThtNlN4WHBFejZRRGpob3FIcXRpWms2SnFCaDB3V2FJbkpXNkN2cjR1eUpRbDU2S09DZGFjNnpaVlNZSFBGNzJMMzZpZS9jSTVmbFBRYTAxQW5LclBuRnEwM1JzR2tjQUFNanpYdkhJei9qUGdhZkF2UERIdm1tbnN1eG5MeVRLclpNdkxt/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(d0284c37f45372cfe83f754b7ee27743).jpg)
“The only mystery I’ve solved today is finding the last piece of chocolate cake in the fridge.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNXVpUElmMGZHQ2QxdEl4TUd0aGNld05FYmdWZk4zaVNQbGhUQ2dUcjh4MlFrQXFURG9HZk9WK2JuVDhnd3pGYVdBaXpwTkZEZUpHaFl6eC9DM2lKRVVlNXVvUUVqTHJ0SXZXSnRxQVpzL05kd3F6VnZNcXd6bGVSNTVnbkRDTk03bnd1MjlKL2RzNmRVSVVEYkdUSXhFPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(d468926edc2e0da437bb8306429b051f).jpg)
“Being a detective is all about asking the right questions, like ‘Who ate my sandwich?'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOGE2bVBwclNCUWtKeHZpMVhIcDAybGpLTXZHVnNIcy91N1lWNzV5M1FpUEJnLys1OFplcTNScVVlVllVN2tBcGFUR2F4VmxmNGx5UTdIWFo3S3hJay9iRlplNHZxT3ZCbUVtQUJGZXRlZEFyRS9qMDZudlhNeTVleEpWNWRDV1hBNmU2SkE1YVRFdnhqSWxHYmVwS3pJPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(915488f8c6a06ef2f7249856d4f50c62).jpg)
“Crime doesn’t pay… unless you’re a detective getting paid overtime.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMejMrYmdpd0tKUkhoOFI1bEZuRlYxc0d2b3plNDBTQUU4amFONDZzWGRhNGsxb3p0UHF3TFRlTU9vWUZYMS9raHc3Y0ZSSUx2R1hhbHZ1eG9uZHZuaTFiRGpaQzF0YkFmaE5BdExhR3BhZnhwTUk1UzU0T0t1eWJ6S3NUNUxMaUtveEpHQUIwNTYyVFBQQjlTbDJUUFpiYURVTUNxdTN6QjBncExYYTg5Zlp5cXgwQS9yMVdGRlNza084ZlFlNjlWQT09/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(3b684c04134bf66b0b891c3b8715811d).jpg)
“I’ve solved countless mysteries in my dreams. Unfortunately, they’re all about why I can never find matching socks.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNXVpUElmMGZHQ2QxdEl4TUd0aGNleHl2WVBEU1pYRE9iYWltbGpNQmNYWC9DNzRNb3U3MHpENmMyMXBuc1dEMUViMTBmb1dZZ3Q5dmkwQkJzdiszL0NTNENKQ21FN2daL1g0aWpRSGdFeFdwQllKK3lmUFFMQUdIZFBlYTBVTkRXWWJGMkRkU1ZWN2VWVkJkZzdsN2QwZ01ibkZHRkxDcDlLVlhvWGpFaGZG/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(edddd146fc2370836d31e51b6be947d4).jpg)
“Being a detective is like playing hide-and-seek with criminals, except they never want to be found.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML2dJWFVNSEhoTWszRzZKbmxCQkl0aHFLNUxTNkJydDNjenpIczJpYWEzVHhjNmw5ZG42N0NkUkszWDU4VjVmdW9SMnpKU3pRYmpJUlVIbjJKaS80VGQwd2hDUnBNWHNUd2dqUkExcFBWRlVJRVp2cUE0VE5wR0FSQVkrN3ZNcmlCcnZhNmNUaXlRa0dWdnZQK2NnNWc3bWpmZEpHdjNBVVpYbEtaVUhGa3ZzMEhYbkJOZXJ4NGNGNVIvMmJSTmRJUT09/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(a4f87004fccb0f930e2c1a9b0add1a55).jpg)
“I may not have the deductive skills of Sherlock Holmes, but I can definitely find all the missing socks in your laundry.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNmFiRjNmKzBYQURDbHRFSUllblZzU3lIVXJRVGF2L1VCeFdOcXdnUzhvcEphS2xnci9hd1ZlbXRmZ3JIU3ZaYnZHSi9TLzdKUmliRjlTaWhZQ01TT1loaHlCenJsVldWNlo1YW5xL1RobGZJd0Fxd01WSnFxaStWMm4xNjBnNnl4RnVIQ0FNV2lyU2lUbzRKVDZwV2UwPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(25fb46b54a00e23fde19d82ce1700683).jpg)
“Crime is like a poorly written book. Fortunately, I’m here to rewrite the ending.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMGEzU2ZyWDZTMTBvQ1h0V29WWTh4NzU5djliazVUS3dRSEs3em5oM3pibUVkQzlrcE1udjdNb3FEY1l3MXY0bzVlYVltQXVWaXRpRER0Vk5SSS9lblQrUzJueE40V2ZRTFB1ajJTVndJMHU1d0xEUWhTUHYwbFkrd0VuUk5ldmY0d2VnS3ZON0N6TnVRQlprN1gwTnBjMkx0a3g2cExoRXgwb1hBMmR5QmthUVN3cFNjMGNjOGlzV2UrMThvbi9qM3VQdU16b1dlTUx6Y3diRG9UNEg5MD0%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(fc67a4bade9f1d8e766a8d0cfcf94eb8).jpg)
“Detective work is all about putting puzzle pieces together, but I’m usually missing a few pieces and the box is upside down.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOW5jTll4UW03czF6ZHRxZWlyZmdlajFPTkhpNkNGMnYxUmZIbFZMV0FnSitncURpUDROVWFlR2hKbUtuc3ErK0p4VXlUeVpMd2xMeU45SDZIZUk3WGtGNjJDQXc4czY1bU8vbWpqUXlYMWNTbVpISlRCc3JYSnkvYktnbnFjd1dLbGVWQnRQVzBsb3RCR2FMV0s5TU0wPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(6339d86000a1e9ab528f1764620328ba).jpg)
“My detective skills are so top-notch that I can locate prime seating at a crowded theater.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNXVpUElmMGZHQ2QxdEl4TUd0aGNleHl2WVBEU1pYRE9iYWltbGpNQmNYWG9qSERMMXBXMnlBVkVrV3JmblFWTEVOTGwwcUNaMmF4RWpWVGYzTUJMTzZMT29CSnp2dFBselVncE43Y1B2UGI0K2Yzbzk0ZG0zTGc3clZ6U1NYb3NONERhUTUzVDA2dGpuRVp0NjFlMUY4PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(c083010a9a6b56c688d6edeb3663f0d4).jpg)
“Being a detective is like being a ninja, but with less stealth and more coffee.” QUOTED ABOUT HOPE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMjN2bnN3ZS9iVG41VjAxVjJKZVJwMkpxbTlJZFBlZVFIb0dNaGdTelJOTGgzc0VWRkFLRUVOc0Rta3Y0d05xT2Z3SHJUL0tRQlFJZmJpRCtSTnM0MkcvNlRwODNKQkVPL2t6Mm5PS1k3Q1ljZG1sY25teGxlQ3RlTnpBWEQrVVNxYUwrWkdySjBkSGhUMlhXZVRRZStk/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(ba99c6b68f43c031f9375b612c6ee6f2).jpg)
“I’m not a detective with a magnifying glass; I’m more of a detective with a magnifying glass emoji.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOVdEd3o2VGJseVZDRXJoZkdhR1ZNOWFva3F0QlVtT2wzR1JYQ1dHRGVTVEhlak9zU1NyaVB1cDBMeStrL3RScThBc0NZMDZBQnRGWFNOb0ZET3pnY2FwTzRZYXJyOFI3K0pwNVVTcExqd1RKTEp1bjBrQldGd09EUzZrQ2JicG5BRGs0b1RLQ0FWMFpNOWVkMklPTEVrS2VuZHZYdE1JMnNiOHppcSswR081emlxcUJXYkxSendOcVdwL2NXbGxvUT09/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(af5466fdab757242cdf63857ccf289c3).jpg)
“Forget Sherlock Holmes, I’m more like Sher-bet Holmes – solving crimes one ice cream brain freeze at a time.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMWRoOStEZWpETHVwU2pWUFlWVk9VeERrWkc1WmNrUkY1ekpnQTNvZHFCRi9HWU9FOXVRZTgzWGJrYmFPajdMZUNDL29YVitMNmc2Q0ZiL2pNMStkbUxIc0NXViswRzFYbzlUOEZHOWF4ajZtYzFObDhVSmVrRWVGTFVPdlN4ZWxjPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(7f15abbd7f90a190d695b43fcd0b46f1).jpg)
“I’m a detective who can sniff out the truth, just like a dog chasing its own tail.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMzI1RDA5UkdQTS9SSU05b0piK3NCSDB6MWpscjBBSWxLQzI4alhPTVRlbmQ3S0tzc08xM2w1T3FVQW1YUytQVUthNHE4TmIvNGhRaFVpTHFGYU5QZGpWMkhBckZlRm9iUXkzSVN0VUFXaGVWU3gyd2xsTllONWZDUm9LSEtjOUlMcWpMS1RnY25ieHBWNHRPQ0d3WnZjbjlRWnRJbzlCRXQ1cGxWRUw2MXhC/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(f9d9e9c1ed34d386e1bab1b5e5aeed82).jpg)
“My investigative technique involves lots of coffee, questionable dance moves, and witty one-liners.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeS9xNGNpcHM5ajI5QkZaRjFHZEZ1ejNrcWNTazdZdDloR21WeVUzbHFQaktjVmlaS210WlljOVRlYjVzLzAwRXBCY0tpT0xWcDF0YWFWYWhFNVNNREdpQUNjRUExSG8xcjFNVFU0OXNKaUFWYkxhVTc4MnRjYWtrODN6bDhLZktCajlmbDBGRTl6SXUxSERkUGtnaUx1aHdxYXdTbEJVVUFFN0YybDlYdjVKRzZVMWJPSkRLS0RCb1R3S1BsOEx2Zz09/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(e622aa5f83e96a621c0339729dd0d853).jpg)
“Whenever I’m investigating a crime, I always feel like a kid trying to solve the mystery of who ate all the cookies.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNXVpUElmMGZHQ2QxdEl4TUd0aGNld05FYmdWZk4zaVNQbGhUQ2dUcjh4MnlmalhwSDlGTTJXSDVpTjNZc2xxTWRZbXozWHFiR2pjaWhTOVZPL0FkYjZ6U2oxS254TnBMNDFHQzhiR3I5MUNKczVHSDFMRlFYL0JWOTVpQmI4Q0dyOGs1RmtZdk02TjdxWCs1eXNSSElSRG4xOXZGMW1ISlFoT0pTQWNhU3RwYUpqdGYyREVoekN3ZkNRK2VVRktvUT09/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(ee4c48f420b9a28f69e8e14c7d9693cf).jpg)
“Being a detective is all about multitasking; I’m simultaneously solving cases and trying to remember where I parked my car.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMnVGWXJnanZpNUljRUNqZFdRVFhmbFo0SzhBbThjRHBWUVR5Y1djdk1hTGt4bm1CSFNRcDZxZTUybit2a20wMUx6c3FDNHcrTEtTNW9aN3hMMFJxN29PR2NzMk02Ri85T2Y5SlA0RUhTZWVOcWllVzNiVzZ6MTVVRjBrb2xsK1JvRjFtYlYxZW5zNkI3eGc4UHlEdnFuajZJLzBJZUE1NFFYd29zbU1HM045NytQQmI4REhLenErWmpvS01IUFdwY2YydnBLMnRtRU9NbEFWVnhGVFFhMD0%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(852fe4a1561691cb6a326be75fbd67ac).jpg)
“I became a detective because I love the thrill of the chase – whether it’s chasing criminals or chasing the last slice of pizza.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNXVpUElmMGZHQ2QxdEl4TUd0aGNleHl2WVBEU1pYRE9iYWltbGpNQmNYWDNTdG5ZeGs4V3JEREo0WFFKM2ZvN0dnTnpTWTloN3luaGE1cTM3Q3BpMWtCOVRycE4wejhOWWNlejE3S25FSUxVSDhnb3JyQmhKN0hzWFh3eG9mOURTS05XWWJRN0lkUEk0NVAvUXh5YVBNRHBLTWhtMDdicXJRcjRyYXRmTTAwUUg3ZUVIdG44K3R4RFZ3ZGNpellKQ3lMUU5KbXBmOTNiTlRVaHllU0xWYz0%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(228ff10f76104138ba765b786bd60116).jpg)
“Being a detective is like playing a never-ending game of ‘Where’s Waldo’ – except Waldo has committed a crime.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvM0pCcVZhWlNDSVMyTm54aVBodEN6UjNsTXBEdTQ3R2c2d3RNdDJHUmc3REpWdGM3K1I1S2VrL2NmNlZ0UktEZFVFZG9haHowM2V6TUEySzBYMGxCMUxxNjVGV0YyVW44aXRTSDM0bnQrbzlnTSsySnNzSkpucXgyaS9hS2xNWHV4bHk4bFRueitvWXlIRHlBUnRPdzZ2YVJiZS83bmxNMnk2Yjc4UTQyaWxDL2N0N05IV1JPZEVuZzJzT1FkV1NMTT0%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(22e42710fb46f1cb0bea389043e51290).jpg)
“I’m not just a detective; I’m a master of disguise. My most effective disguise? Looking busy and important at the coffee shop.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNXVpUElmMGZHQ2QxdEl4TUd0aGNleHl2WVBEU1pYRE9iYWltbGpNQmNYWEJ1K0Fpd1VBZGhZZnBsRkRvUitRN0RvNmFPWTNiWDhsTlJmcHJsV2ZUMEl0RUZkWEJySTY5L2UxbHpXRm1aUGUxdDZtMHZHcVhqeEZVdFRKZHI5cUdqRVhEU05DMU8zSUNWY0ZBVURJU0lndENPVkgrSlFudEljV3VsYUtEa1VTT1dQSjB6YysrbE5YQzUwUFZCODRjY0U3NURxSGlySG80RjJoOTd5L0FDQT0%3D/FUNNY+DETECTIVE+QUOTES/(2817a67276bd36b533ca4b6b6f82fb1a).jpg)
“Being a detective is like being a human lie detector, except I often detect more lies in a day than a polygraph machine does in a year.”