FUNNY DIRTY MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES

“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.”

“The road to success is always under construction.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, fix your ponytail and try again.”

“Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So, I go back to being me.”

“Your life can’t fall apart if it was never well-constructed to begin with.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“The best way to predict the future is to create it… or just Google it.”

“Success is like being pregnant, everyone congratulates you, but no one knows how many times you were screwed.”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a big hug.”

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.”

“The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!” BLESSING THANK YOU GOD QUOTES

“If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.”

“The biggest lie I tell myself is ‘I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.'”

“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen us in the same room together?”

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”

“Dear Diet, things just haven’t been working between us. It’s not me, it’s you. You’re tasteless and boring. I’m moving on. Love, Me.”

“Behind every successful person, there’s a lot of coffee.”

“Do I run? Yes. Out of patience, motivation, and money!”

“I put the ‘fun’ in ‘dysfunctional’.”

“You can’t make everyone happy, you’re not a jar of Nutella.”

“I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need a glass of wine and a vacation.”