![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVnVzcVJJZmdvTHZPWGFjNm1zbGNtWE1PUmQwWW11L3JQYkx1eURXZ3RvVFEvUHdLNERZd0JTaG5tajB4TWJrajRqVFJRdUNnZDdwWXBBNnkxYmZtNEQxdXBQVlpiR0I5aC8xdHB5eVRleUNVUjcweXk4blZyNEdybnNZZ2F6MGJ2Y2FLQ3ZWZm5HblRzQm5HU0lpT0FnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(6c7f5437d499a39eb6947359e091e37d).jpg)
“Life is like a sandwich – the more you add to it, the better it becomes.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNTdUdlJxeSs5ajdJdWNVanM1aDZjRHNkblA5TDRQem56TEVxT1g3R1Vham9WV1A1cmdNdENZWnBCb1RyMTBMclUzQS9MUi9UUExzWlVkbFcxRUd6V2svMjltZjIwc1VhTytRb2lWU3ZrRlhlejk3TVQ5WGR2Mk9yN3I2QWoyWUE1MDFDL0VsaFRaK3FIaTR3TGVVTEErYWo4YWJ0N2J2bG5iLzlHOFlKbnl4Nk9QS25laWlSS0pLaDhqWWNxdllGMmVkaVNrc1ltOVRrd0oveTRzdENsYz0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(41aebc9a6ee240239f8e7c2a20ded093).jpg)
“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” – Emo Philips
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML1ZGR3VrN2JtT084MW54NWRoalpXakY1Qm51TTlKTm5Fd3RrcnZEYkNmR2cybXRCOUZyQit6MnJxeWJnSTB3aEFJcGpBUThma2ZDUWdDdHd3TWF5VFpXZENoSlVoSHFhazljZmdXZXBsaTA%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(98882608f0da219ec51fca918d351fe3).jpg)
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNVBVcVdmMFhxN0t1Z1FrdVhpck9WeUN0dFZ1OWNINk5SNTNPNTdzaGNJUWlVbk15b2hpTUxWbzNSRFY5am5RZEJlcEswNVZYNFFralFIdmY5ZDVEQXBZYmtEWWxibmRLdmpuZE82YkFubXJmUHl4aGtYQ0hVMjZoOWpNUnRLV0tRczFXTlllRFpucmRDL0JGb2lBakgvZjU4RjRmMnVFWXJwNHcwNmZzdDZuSmVwN1ZPa3FqckkxSnVGUm1VeHRCT0FQUnNMSk01NHN5ZnMzajlnTlBsVXRSSjNUajlJdXZ2SGdkdVRJLzQrNQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(9557d043d08be493dce36ef47ff2bfc1).jpg)
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNkE1MUtvdlhTWHYreCt2c1c1cVFnRlpLYjdoVWdkZnhzMk44Nm5UbG9aaER3R3h5Mjk5bGhoM2RRNCt3dnY0WWh3OVNMdm8vOHZ1QUc1aC9zZ0RsQlA3OU9ZdzZBM3A4N0hldWw1RjN0UHQvU25DOGdXM0ZtRHJOc2dtYlJtSGNZZUYrQXBrT0V0aXNxRUcrWUlPdWw5dGlJZ21YblpZRWJOM3k2ZzI1L2xP/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(d4bade436508734fcfddbdf80ca0475e).jpg)
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNU9DZ0NSbGJSRm1YcjlZVlcwcUUwRnpLdnU1d3lONFV5NFhuZ2xmRk9kdFNJU29KMWl5Z2J6RjdEYm1ORXB2bVNrN2dXanFQNzVFb3p2OVZQODNuamZ1N1lObnNHUDU4SU5WTHNDNkdaM01YSnNTNmhSWkNPY2Jvb0xJMlR3V053PT0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(ed444c61337e5d44224cd8eb156aac52).jpg)
“My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMM0RPMkFnSUpPQ3VxMjlzL2Rsem1uR3lDWE0zcVJYVUZPNVJNVHNTcjRKT2FpYnJ2YUFOZjV3OE9kMFhsWUJuQ1d6d2tUU0lLSTZleGRxWE03VDFSVk11ZkxUNC91U2MrSVYwS2I4WXJzU0tQS0ozRDZRYjhPakN1YUlEMmRyblZBPT0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(2fa1e23a7ccb3f217795e0a5261f96c0).jpg)
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMkxnYW1CbnY0VThua2ZrRzExeHBLRXE0QzVaMTcxSXJKZXNtQlVyUmdzSy83UHlmeTJNQWlsbTM5ZXJiZWhwT05kamZIYTdnYmVzelV1eGI3TVFwbWgxaXpscDg2OU1WYnNiZ29yb1lIRG96clNDd3FGMCtYOVhkdEk2Z0J3MVE0bE1xbUg5VlhsQkdVZC9ZQ3diKzhwRXpUblRpMGdGNkduRmxoVnpUUTNKTW5NTHlKbWR3QXE0ekxTeSsxelBwdz09/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(2bdb30f4dccdc43642bf5411f468b585).jpg)
“Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs, but it’s your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMlJDRjFaY2tDb0hvUFlIc3JNSEIzekEwZkx1aGFTT1RnWGNxZU10YXVYTHczMUs4cDA0dmtZeVhlYWJ6WUNOeUFWczJlKytBUmtKeHJWTUpsOUt0ODVDRE9aNFpsOTVWaEFGM21IdTFOSGw%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(8b22f6f1c96c1e0a3ab310d17fe02ac7).jpg)
“If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNkhKTzRadGJqREhMZnFZalFQaEViKzFlSythbjZyU1hyL2RPZmZpa3lCWlJhczFlWHJncjdpdkhYdUZhejdWOGtPN05TQ05OczVEU1BtemVSYlJIeTY4YkxnZzRlenJRQ25uNUhoVGRTWjdieFdRWHh0aWtBUzB0VDZhMk1DZ2F6S3o1YkNidFgxd3lPQ2t1OTMrdW5IdDRjazNOWkRTSVdSWThRNDBSaWk3/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(5713ecd9cebfb38f67fe8b4cc70566bd).jpg)
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.” – Bill Murray
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMN2R2b0E2TkYyQWZYZTkrQ2FTOTV2RWhoUUhmUGZHcXhPY2swcXEyNFJITERkQzFxRXJKU2k0bHdieGxORUFsbGVZa2dLV3p0S2tSRlBMSmN2c0xZalB1dVNUZjg0SXlWcWNJSFViQUVvUDBTenBjVmVTaGJRYXRQVFlNWkJiYUVnPT0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(f69a06617507169492539f390bfb0d89).jpg)
“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Tommy Cooper
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeEZxZGw0ZXZYZ1NMVTQ4dHJXcTRHL1BnSkpET3BFVVp5S1l6WVlaUnYxR09GSzh0OWtHRnNLMytXOUxWdE1wNFZ0VFB0c1AwRWtDblJUYVluNnV6Q1BwSHAwU0N2OVdjY2haSDRoWnh6Uys%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(a188fc12643de7573b3437154af459b3).jpg)
“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” – Katherine Hepburn
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNzY2OXJoRm5JU2FrVmJiTmVjajJOalM0Z1VSUGV4OUx4U1JySlUzM0krdE5JMS9aS0RSa09BbGJVQUc0SXROQTgvTmYvVHVjOEtvaUs2T1VwS1FKUXl0Wnhsd0s0UzM4ejZhRnh1VzBQb1hMOXowSlNzSUQ1TlRUUDJTcEo5dEdiemNrSTlaai9nY2d1aDR5Nm1wRDB0SE5IblpTYzZQajUvN2lLUi9QTUty/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(2e58d07c1593c87b239c48e1b99dcc76).jpg)
“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.” – Natalie Wood
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMK1VadTFCcjcvd3BVVFFkVkVNZ2VMMS9hUWFFQ0dTd2FFNkozS1BBMHIxbmhibEd1M3BvN2tGNWVYNlg5bnpMZFdCcTk5M0pGTGpPaWUyeURVTlNUTUNKMm84WC9VbTlEdE5NV1ZtVVhHenEwcXZDMjNxMkUxeHBCcmJpNE9lMGF1SXlheFZzRlB2Wk9MQUZDSlliQTlaeFBDZXRYMjR5eGRGWEhYS3poVGpo/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(437baa5392e86098bffae5291ec26521).jpg)
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams HURTFUL QUOTES ABOUT FRIENDS
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMeXdHalcxS1M3dXJFM3llYTgxMFlucXpjSmJCNzMrWkZjNGg1c2l1S0tSWkhlWEdrRk5LajNWTjNRUExMODUrdlJWQ1pCeFEwYlMwODdGRURLNHRkaWZ5TmlKSUtjbU16YkFsOFgyRCtWVS9jOGVHSFVORHNFMDlqNWxBYmEwanBBPT0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(03d7a77320097372a35b3cc35125ebba).jpg)
“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMitvRFhkcWl1aDA4VkVMaWNjVmFwSnhMeEVuN04xekJxV0JkS0g2cmxkdG5ycDNKN2lOdmpFNUgxcFFoQW9IcUdiMGcvS1AwWTJJQ3dwWUZQRUxtMEhHd05FZ0NHWmlETHVIY2xkaEx2VnJwQXFoeVkyVGV1aW9QYnczMjQxSHkvMm1JcVVGUmY3M0VVWlI5VHF1VXBiT3kxU0xXL2hINDdaRlVrUmtOQUZP/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(b109ebcd554bcf905bf3a29002a18053).jpg)
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMN2R2b0E2TkYyQWZYZTkrQ2FTOTV2SGkxeDIxT2RSOHRtelVjcFAxRnF4djlnZGt0ZExCa1ZOdGVwNG5CY2tLd1U4TlJVOXk2OStQQjRNemNTc0tCYnB1YWlUMUx6VzRLMW1NR1BoM21ONm9hSjhpNzRzdXdXS2hIWVQ4MHpVWGt3PT0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(1f75d034d7fb5f248cc96a2554c15084).jpg)
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMHRWbVRUbml6eHBKak5MWit6bS9FZHJoenpaY2poNUpmangwaVAxMHpjQ2o4dXdVYVpvaU1qM1dHYnFnQzRUTE45NmttdzZCR2lPNkZyeVNmRFdacnRjcXlyL3M3aW5veDZ0YUJJb0N1WUxWNDRJU1FvY0NwZHVZNXluYzUyYm5oRHoxTmxkR0RuQUMxZkRRanVBT1RiVzg3dWZmUVZhWStLcDNSUGZPby8xVTM3M0h2VGR0SXE5L3FPLzdJbFhhZz0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(6d30d3333a501991b0d8353fe10be63a).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy. It’s just that the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNmFrM3B2L2p4Vm1aWkkzRWl5Mlp1SjRlTTN2bzhKSGdoQlhjeFJHUEJDdUU5eUg3Vlo2ZjFtdFZlZ000UVdFMTRub2xKeTNVcWNUYW9FU3dRQmlVbCs3UWNTVDJsQ3R4Q1FVK0pkY3I2SlhYbko0cFFwUlRudW16dytwWklPWGZRPT0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(9f729df2a3ffa430bbbdba06cdaf0b81).jpg)
“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOFRVYU4wRFNBeXpadTJBa1VkdU5mZEFQWmZZVmljamEwV21ZeDREcGxWcnQ2cDc1eCtkUGdycHI5V3QyQUJnMkhoeHZaN3Z5ckdTV2UzV2Z2Nm9MV0JNS0xMNzdVWU41TzJYRzVicXhQaFFVSnU3bXpNV2FLVmRzK0VDcmhZc1FHUHRUMVdGNDM4Vkp4UkxSSnp1SlZnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(7450e738fbcb727e8566b17912e11753).jpg)
“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd2M5Z2NnSzJCRmxjeWhZK09PbTJYR1JNN1VKQU5iYlZFK0lBYkhpRDBWYjcyQ25kMXRlaEVLNDFvOUJPNVcvYUQzYVpDeGd5NFdOTFNZbFU5d3k3eWdlbCtJOEZsbzlRMCtZVWg1WStEK1k%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(aa77c4248f6120c14d45e533be3cb0a3).jpg)
“A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMNDJaTkhUYnpZUythZS9sSm5teEtwZUV2MGp3UE9RVmlqY3MwMWw4TVlWVmN4NUM0SVpQM0ZScWdTcEhQUjkzKy9jT2dBSDBoV3BCV09NZG02ZEo4MXVpVWptZ1d5YTdwYkx2SURSMldFdTh1ZlVqd2ttbXJ0MlBEYmNVQTBPYSt6V3Y4dW1kdVdBZzN3TkJvVzFsaGplQVpZaEw4cWgyclNjbE9XVTZnQitZ/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(1b0d15a35cd2405d80f3089bbde0c498).jpg)
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMMTdlMlIza1dDUy9jUnpKUlhPYzcrdldKZ0p6bjVvZHpjWnQyUWUrZmlDcTFocFFkZUg0aWhBN1puc25ubGlTR1UxbWQzU3ZMWlFWK2FITDZCZXJ2bWJueGtoQjg4TlBrWHBYbldzRStXdU1vNTdIMnVLTkowd09tdDhYWnFyWHJCQlEvNnJxQUxDL1EzWlBKY3lNQkZjPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(6f8e1332ad7e123e440c991b87cfa030).jpg)
“Marriage is like a workshop. The husband works and the wife shops.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMOXFudFNQNVRKWWVINjdHQ25mcWhZQjJnbHUvblM4NENraTVXbWk2dGhjQlhSKzhzU0ZoZUdsUHVvNk9nUWJVb3owQ050eWFqeUt6K0xJOUhHSHpmSXd6aDR0OFFRUXBrcVYyT2I2K3NIN3c1M1M5Tit2clBQbHBYd0h1MGFsWTJBPT0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(8d884fa90f87c366ca2a02acea122d8a).jpg)
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML0toRmdDRVl1NjNBVitXdU4xa21HU1ZIRzVwL2p5RHVGTzhMbFEwMXRTS09uZlBFTzZQdXZTVjNuS1RucXQxQmFBSEhUbE9VWlJRZHU1Y2NVdjJtVWF4TVBFUmtSVkY4Yk5sbExFbVE4UFhuVlFnY3duSzhTOFYwd0ZGOUt5ZGMrRzBLenI5ZktST1luK0VpMndoNDNhWHd2cGtsTkNJOCtRQnZnN2ltZmlQ/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(bc50cf6af6c46a313b8c07ed382d5cdb).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML3doVzI5YjdMMzdqWFlvOXhlbng3THU1ODZTYmdxSHlWTDVaRmxJZUV4MVVSKzJSZzY2amdlcXdjRlQ0bFFya041YWN5UEIyZXE1TnlVa1FzdjdodHdNc2xtQmpNcjBhNTdXZnowZ2V5VDBxRmVEVnphVkc0eG5NTytOdlBpdVdRPT0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(3b735003afdc1d3509190b43dc97d2b0).jpg)
“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” – Harry S. Truman
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdML1JGTDZWaDRFY0loeFRoend5ZzNEMFdqZGtoeEY5NC8vTkR3c3RKdXNwZm9abENJSVBlakk5U2tYdzFaY011b2tSMVQvRDdwc3pEYktacVhBNE41dXFVVU1LNTRPdkpNMzB6aG1HOUJMQmMrVHJUN2FtcnJucHhZVVFrTXV3Y1NRPT0%3D/FUNNY+FACTS+ABOUT+LIFE+QUOTES/(326a3ef8425c0bbedceed4272cd1dade).jpg)
“The trouble with life is there’s no background music.” – Unknown