“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!”

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.”

“My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.”

“New Year’s resolutions are just a to-do list for the first week of January.”

“May this year resolve all your financial resolutions and may you find happiness in a balance transfer!”

“My New Year’s resolution is to eat less, exercise more, and pretend that I like vegetables.”

“A new year is like a blank book, and the pen is in your hands. It’s your chance to write an insanely ridiculous story!”

“The only thing I have gained in the past year is weight.” INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ABOUT JESUS BIRTH

“May your New Year’s resolution be high definition. And may you be too drunk to understand that joke!”

“I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I didn’t become a better person.”

“May all your weight loss aspirations and gym workouts get squashed by your love for food and laziness this New Year!”

“My resolution was to read more, so I put the subtitles on my TV.”

“This year, let’s resolve to make better bad decisions.”

“My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating, starting from next week.”

“May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door!”