FUNNY HEARTSTOPPER QUOTES

“I wish I was as thin as my patience, but unfortunately, they’re both nonexistent.”

“If there’s cake involved, count me in. If not, let me know when there’s cake.”

“Life is short, so eat the dessert first. And maybe second too.”

“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”

“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination. Actually, I’ll do it later.”

“My body is a temple…of doom, but at least it has good snacks.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m energy-efficient!”

“I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.”

“I’m good at math…you know, subtracting money from my bank account.”

“When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate!”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I dream of a world where chocolate comes with zero calories. Until then, I’ll keep dreaming.”

“I always give 100% at work – 10% on Monday, 20% on Tuesday, and so on…”

“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!”

“I don’t need a prince charming, I need someone who’s good with a plunger.”

“I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not fake. Unless we’re talking about my smile. That’s all thanks to braces.” SHORT LEISURE QUOTES

“I don’t snore, I dream of being a motorcycle.”

“I believe in eating cake for breakfast. It has eggs and milk, so technically, it’s a balanced meal.”

“I don’t need a vacation; I need a new life.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just practicing my ninja moves…unsuccessfully.”

“Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right. Or at least, why I think I’m right.”

“My wallet is like an onion; every time I open it, I cry.”

“I may not be as cool as James Bond, but I can definitely relate to Austin Powers.”

“I only do cardio because it’s the sound I make when I eat cupcakes.”

“I’m not forgetful, I’m just gifted with a selective memory.”

“I love deadlines. I especially enjoy the whooshing sound they make as they pass by.”

“I’m not short, I’m just more down-to-earth than most people.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.”

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out? And probably trip over your shoelaces while doing so.”