FUNNY HORROR QUOTES

“I’m not scared of monsters under my bed. I’m scared of math problems on my bed.”

“I used to think zombies were scary until I met my morning face in the mirror.”

“Who needs a haunted house when you have a teenage daughter?”

“I asked the Ouija board if I should go to the party, and it spelled out H-E-L-L.”

“Remember, if you’re being chased by a psycho killer, slow jogging is the new running for your life.”

“I don’t need therapy. I just need a horror movie marathon.”

“My greatest fear is my internet going out in the middle of a supernatural Netflix binge.”

“My fitness routine includes running away from imaginary serial killers in my mind.”

“I accidentally made eye contact with a vampire and now I have an eternal soulmate. Help!”

“I’m not afraid of ghosts, I’m afraid of those unexpected creepy reflections in the mirror.”

“My favorite exercise is running away from my responsibilities, especially when they’re undead.”

“If werewolves howl at the moon, do vampires make appointments with their dentist?”

“Sometimes I wish there were alarm clocks that gently wake you up with horror movie screams.” EAT FOOD LIKE MEDICINE QUOTE

“I asked my zombie neighbor if she wanted sugar, and she mistook it for brain seasoning. Awkward.”

“The scariest moment in a horror movie is when the Wi-Fi stops working.”

“Why do ghosts only hang out in groups? Because they’re afraid of being ghoulmates.”

“If you need me, I’ll be in my fall-proof blanket fort, hiding from Halloween decorations.”

“I tried to FaceTime with my ghost hunter friend, but the spirits are more tech-savvy than I thought.”

“I don’t need a gym membership when I can burn calories screaming during jump scares.”

“Haunted houses? Try haunted grocery stores during the pre-Halloween rush.”

“The only thing scarier than a supernatural entity is waking up without coffee.”

“I never thought I’d be jealous of a ghost, until I watched them walk through walls like it was a revolving door.”

“I finally found a way to avoid jump scares in horror movies: close my eyes and pray for it to be over.”

“If clowns aren’t scary, why does my bank account turn into one every time I check the balance?”