![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TUzVNYzR6U0kxbkJZQWgvdlhUVmxQa25TZzR5WEVtNDE0dGZYeFE5Sm5nRmh1V1pCR0ZpVmwydEhkUTVmdEVWdTRDbFNOWjZ3ZU5tb2tjTjVhK0czZnFaTjN6S2NDUm4xSGk4RXhTNFZKY2tESlhZUTIyM0FKWE9DbkdiR083V004PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(27da7d9b4074e3593fbb219e94c7de01).jpg)
“I’m not scared of monsters under my bed. I’m scared of math problems on my bed.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteUlPZDVjMWZlaGZ4TzZxNTJxSm1GNUQ4ajF3RFFEM0hJNXBsWFdSaHZSdGlkMkRIcC9KSDNEbHpycDFIYWpUT1J6Ym1GVFRCU3duM01WMFErK1RjNUthakEwbk5xRFB3M3FpbFNKbWNlMXJRPT0%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(dc5c74695833fc36097af859778615e8).jpg)
“I used to think zombies were scary until I met my morning face in the mirror.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWk4vNFVXMnZYcU9PZGVmaXZTejcwdzYvOHdkNzVwUzZsa3RQVkJhTWE3QXByV0ZjTFdMOUFyLzJVZ0pvSUkrVXh2R1hKNU1Cd1dMc2V5emsvR3p0Y2RIUFdIZ2VrdUw2VFFBRzd6TlMxRzM%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(5f26381a05ea28742d6ba9e79e535adb).jpg)
“Who needs a haunted house when you have a teenage daughter?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEV2J4V2dlakkyVW9kL1NxL2hOaXRsYTB5SU5nUUptaGtzNWVZUUh1K3Y1SXh6aDVnbHkrUVBFNEF4TnBIRWNaN01VeXdBT2F3SUd5QjgxbFJ2NE9IT1hkUWJBajlGcU1SbnJybW9uSEY3Rk13PT0%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(94385dbc99e7af1a9a8548e2ed3aca8f).jpg)
“I asked the Ouija board if I should go to the party, and it spelled out H-E-L-L.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWFWY3RPc0pvT05QcWorWmppYUM1TjV4aWk4ZEJaWlZ5VlFxOXdaNHJVM3ErY1ZwNHRBQXVoSEJ3dUZsZkMyVFVnT3Jta0RqR3E2bWdoalpOMVFRUngvNGZmZEdVUW1HZ2hZVExDNnArcDBuaCtNRlJYWVVFY2xpUXF4SW1WY2NEeDBRYVg5ajM2bG5MWlozSllZaFh3VkVadnQvc0NXNWRlTkF0dllnOWZy/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(572d0fef23409b6387166f39f2a33031).jpg)
“Remember, if you’re being chased by a psycho killer, slow jogging is the new running for your life.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3JNcjZQLytKUzlJK0Qrc1dOUmxGOTJPWHJFRTY0U2RpdGRWN0FDeTNDWFpodWxMOUowa2VzZUc5MDhDcVJuNFk1U2NldEtNN2I4Sys4Nk0weEl0QnA%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(071d57b3313de1bd648cc713cd50c9c0).jpg)
“I don’t need therapy. I just need a horror movie marathon.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUTV3eDZlVXR3UEk3clhwMGVlcWM0enZnSzBNUnpENmJlbW9wQmd6SjR1LzEzNnVhbllWTkF0aVpBbHhLOFJzejU0NklaY0s2cUtyRFpBOTF3dWRpMWZFSUo1Wk1JNkhnOGl2ckI4OWhXK014UUFyVnpDbnJwYmZKUG90Z0FaK0UyM2dINTRtc2xSTWU1M1dnQWtGZ1k0PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(a9afc3f64f20cbd42d4cc5ca9e64134d).jpg)
“My greatest fear is my internet going out in the middle of a supernatural Netflix binge.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVTZWdWlReU93MjFkL2Q4QTJYWnJjaE5VenA5RDBHWlJWUWoxelI3WVViM1dqNFUrMW5kSjYzZzhjWDcvOHN1UzRSbldzVlQrNU0xc3FYekI0VDEyK0VvRWxJcGJaUExiZFl1aEpRYWQ4eUJhNkVyR1NGYkl0ZnpCTUh4L1RWcm5OaGo4dDhLZ3B6eWVxZCtxQ3ByV213PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(141c6a975bbdd25cf016620ffb402d3e).jpg)
“My fitness routine includes running away from imaginary serial killers in my mind.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWHpXeUs0cXJGMU5aL0pHZC9CcDRaOUFrV3RISTlzWE5aSHhwdm9RYnRxUWpTbXg1aVRxdEQ1L3o0Z2xBU1g1aWNmOTA3L2tSc0VmQ3k4eE5pSnN5V2toMStKcmFDTStSNHBaV25sekdBaElDQkFOOW52T2JJOGw5ekYxZ3JCdTBOSW4xQitnSkxpWGVoMm9FbHBIc2hBPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(4495f99cf6c98b4c92d37b558ba48329).jpg)
“I accidentally made eye contact with a vampire and now I have an eternal soulmate. Help!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZHlIR3BoYk1QRzNNK2VmVDNVZTRYZjlUQzBJakkybTRTTU1zUUEweVBscEs5WGQyc05GN3V5aHIwWEdXNmhoZ0VBcUlvd3ZucUdBbDFuMk1qNzMzNXY5QVdnL002Qk0yeENxc0JHL2NIa0RFbUJiWitNNGRTSG9Qb3FyZThGOWYxZzY1aFAyMm4vS2YwMFN3eVJJSGt2/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(390a9933840f67b4ce2f580e70a74063).jpg)
“I’m not afraid of ghosts, I’m afraid of those unexpected creepy reflections in the mirror.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjVHNTczQVdhZTd3SEV2dmR1ZFlEQ2JuTUswdnBNdXlZWE04dXpubWsvTmt0ek1sUE9pR05ibThxSTd4SVQ2RzY5T0RIcmlQeVJHUDBQMnhnNlFtQnM1VUFrN0dtclhUYnM4SVY1dTFPUGFBNUZZZ1N5VTNhQ3ZsbWdoeUhPRDlFS2p3VW9uLzNnOHFmN1VsVGhOV3lkKzRPRmNQSm1SdTJkRm5UTGRlQnQw/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(65a403c1bd51ea65cf4aa91b4e63afb1).jpg)
“My favorite exercise is running away from my responsibilities, especially when they’re undead.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjYzWkdCYUpNU3dwVGVMMlJlZ0RYNTdPaCtIdFBnaVR2R0VOY1AvWGtyUHVJNVIwcnN6ZUhNREx0dS9TWkZTU3dqR29hdlpEamcwVFlFeHdjUGJUTytZaXBMQkdRQ1JBVmVLeWlMTytTeTN3ME1RVWQrb1cvdkRCMkRSQlRabEtOV3hUZXhNTjdIZ09VMEdmMENhUmkwPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(db4408f11ad11961232888bd733bc758).jpg)
“If werewolves howl at the moon, do vampires make appointments with their dentist?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkVrTEN4UnA5U3hhcy9CTE04UGorMFk0aGtMWnE1ZjAvV3MvbUhuakVuYlF5a1EwY2ovYUJVWmtjZzVLMVFicnBEam56OENlVDVmR1pGb1NkK0VKRndIamFURjNJTXBvUnMrMFJFYysrUVdodmNobjZVOU51ZDQrY2FFZWJjd1BUb0tlZjdacEI1OFBOd2FMMW5DajZHUUNENUpSZjN5eEZUb3pnYitNYkJMNFljODVTdmswOEV2SHc2b3ZLUjd6Zz09/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(313b672c3fb061755a1e9ce0459859e2).jpg)
“Sometimes I wish there were alarm clocks that gently wake you up with horror movie screams.” EAT FOOD LIKE MEDICINE QUOTE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVlhDczZjbXViRFJLM2VLUnBjS0hPazBEYzVBaXdVNnlZd3dmWGFxc2RzVFFtTmtzZldJUmc5UnpCajQzM3ErbWFIRTJLY3BVMVEwTXBpVVFjMkp4QUE3MTgwN0pweVFib2xXM2VORksrMXgrZmxOUi9kbjF5bFRZVlVmdkNxQ1N3PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(131c1ed45db979afafa32e801355956b).jpg)
“I asked my zombie neighbor if she wanted sugar, and she mistook it for brain seasoning. Awkward.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUnM0TkFsOVBqMmU0RittanpNbk9GZUI5UnE5YUx2bXNWTGE5STFpMkR1VmxtNksvbVFZQmhCNDZQeGlnVFRiZU1VZEx6UDRkUW1kdHhZNVdDWHRYaHBjQ3IyeEd3S3lXclZxcUNvS1MvZlpjelgyVmZuS0dKM2ptSHpnMFZublF3PT0%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(aa2afb93756b4d8ae588cb9facc16281).jpg)
“The scariest moment in a horror movie is when the Wi-Fi stops working.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZEswN2lsbmJiZVl4dGw3Q1E1WXlLRXZLOVRpc3dseDhmUDh6d0ZZdkJzWkdwOVZOQ0dxcTk2MVB3RGhHZklNSFVxYU1rTkVhQWtFQmNaNGpZWFB1NG9aUjAzSDhzZjRHOTRCZzRjOGxlb3ZBWEIwdXhWbzFTM1JlSFVEa1FBWGszYUVob0pZTEFkb1JiTGNCbDAxOUdzPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(2fd12d91ceb586c7f13f061f7428508b).jpg)
“Why do ghosts only hang out in groups? Because they’re afraid of being ghoulmates.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUlRXQkx5VHBEREpCcjB4aldlRmRPTkZiWmo1cGU3REtNREFNd1Q2MG0xOGt0Q0VLUTExOXI2M1ZPU08rMm8xemU1ZVJmY2hpR1NieDRSV3ExT2hSblJQcm5peTlGbGdEVWUvd285R0l0ZVh0OVp5eWNXdUhZbmhmNE1wWG1zNmMwZVdLME5OZ01lL1puNk9GZDdFbk1BPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(e1d2cc6a297641dfd52ba8c925237e6e).jpg)
“If you need me, I’ll be in my fall-proof blanket fort, hiding from Halloween decorations.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMUTVUcXVEdjlwcEdhVkQrQlJqQWoxRnFxR1gxNjl1dEdQZFZIc1FMUzFabzhISVp1WkVCQW95cyt1c3RmUU8xKzhmV2FKclhxTFJBdC9CbTBQYWFuUGMyOU1kVGFEamYzS2YxVENCK0l4R2ZOQysvQnRpMUp0YTJ6QndGVHViTW9XK1RTMUd5RVBEQStld2wrTDNDSnFI/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(585958d14f6ddc22bb0797b138d2c691).jpg)
“I tried to FaceTime with my ghost hunter friend, but the spirits are more tech-savvy than I thought.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z1l0M0VmSmNpVWc1MFRpNzVKMzkzYzkvUENDQkljYXZGTUo0NGpLakNaN2JKVi9tT0JSWFdOSytBaDRSQ2tQcDJJTWFYaUIwSHAvWVdTbnE3c1REdlRRcGtRTE82dHdNUmM3WFBDVlZJSXhXcGoydElTL0xhK2VxOWpaYW1OWVJrPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(da62336c03a62e69ff61560c68dbd21d).jpg)
“I don’t need a gym membership when I can burn calories screaming during jump scares.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUJJY3NrUHVESkk1UlZ4UW92YWZraytOUG41WE1KcENxWDNKNHc2dVpvWGpEQWE2eVZHWWpVd1hlRWJkdW5BT001NE5Db3hIeDI4SUMrQ3FDZkt5L2dJYUE4cExnWE5kbWFIbFlHV1AyakVqRkZqQ3o4U1NJeDBoYTJYbEtlaVpnPT0%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(6ce3beb431070c3e796d433172db1d2a).jpg)
“Haunted houses? Try haunted grocery stores during the pre-Halloween rush.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDaEU5eDZVNEt0NUhWTnRvL2ZrOWsyY0NLSnJPbDRXOXVhNDNuKzhsUGpZNVZxNkJHbkVPb1JaOGZmZVFlQUdLcnBLVVNWb1dXZGVRNlhELzQ3SWNoNWtwN1lIak82ZllpSitMRjNyZzZrNTNBPT0%3D/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(617b2e876ec7c94504d3c85d02b982d7).jpg)
“The only thing scarier than a supernatural entity is waking up without coffee.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxYcnQveC9ic3RZZ2VOdEIzbWdFSTdmU0ZEaG5KNmhUbndrTHMzTEw4aUk4QkNXTWJ0a2tNODRVUG5GTXpseUdMU0VqM0cxLzdPN1dHZkdIK0tFcTkrLzNZN2xDV0hMSFZWYUNKMExPYmFITnhMYi92ckFNcytNaUcwWUJrcXZ5UjRPZ2RsanlzWFJ6eHJFOWtuTWtFWHFHR2hXMmdST2VLcHFWK3hxV0p2dzVZRVc5K0tyeFFWVU5MOEhSSjZUdz09/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(c44c6172faccc7b5c5f8b445ab8c90ae).jpg)
“I never thought I’d be jealous of a ghost, until I watched them walk through walls like it was a revolving door.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjQxN2pUVmhYM044N2Q4WEp1TG5CN1luMGhFQlpZRjlFaVFWdlZ1VzI4QkhiTU9wQ0lPOUI0V2JIaUQ4ZUF5ak84UjdNVjJWMHIwZlNMK3FIOHFVQnZ6dUNnekFxU3BZTUFuR3AzdUlkeHRRREhlUzQ2UFQwcjJqeHIyUlU2OXN1eTZ6eWV6c0ZqOUFkYnV1aHVQK0RHd0ZpTk5meFpWZFRZeWk5R0hNbks0/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(585a08c64d9293c302d1679d32c5c45f).jpg)
“I finally found a way to avoid jump scares in horror movies: close my eyes and pray for it to be over.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWtHaFM2c2FxYUtEYmd4RWFoZXo1dTRWUmxZcVJsSklLakJOQURLK01qZWlQZ29wWWFEWjZYenJEWHk0RlovQzVhd0VqT2hkVFowNEhtRmhtcTRpbHJhcWx3VFVqUm9JSmVxendpRHlEVFhOTmNJdWxuSHZCVjhOeW82YkRJVHlDQkhpWVNwdldKQVRNMmR0cXV4V01JYjdSQnB6N1NvVE1sRnE0UHF1Z0lN/FUNNY+HORROR+QUOTES/(c6df771281173b228f1ff866a24db15c).jpg)
“If clowns aren’t scary, why does my bank account turn into one every time I check the balance?”