“My husband thinks he’s funny, but he’s just a dad trying to be cool.”

“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.”

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person – preferably one who can make you laugh.”

“Husband: a man who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”

“I love my husband, but sometimes I still wonder what I did to deserve a lifetime subscription of his dad jokes.”

“My husband is my favorite person to annoy.”

“The best thing about me is my husband, and I’m pretty sure he would say the same thing about himself.”

“My husband and I have a very special relationship. We laugh at the same things…and by things, I mean our own jokes.”

“There’s nothing more attractive than a funny, loyal, and patient husband…just kidding, it’s when he does the dishes without being asked.”

“Husband: a title just above a doormat. At least doormats don’t snore.”

“Marriage is a mutual relationship in which my husband always finds a way to make me laugh and pulls my leg…literally.”

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

“My husband might not always remember where he left things, but he never forgets to make me smile.”

“Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.” QUOTES ABOUT YOUR WORK

“If my husband ever leaves me, I’m going with him.”

“The key to a successful marriage is a husband who knows how to make you laugh and how to fix things that break.”

“My husband and I have an agreement; I don’t try to run his life, and I don’t try to run mine.”

“My husband complains I never listen to him, or something like that.”

“My husband is like a human alarm clock. No, not the one that wakes you up gently; the one that keeps hitting the snooze button!”

“I asked my husband to do something romantic, so he took me to a dollar store. Love is still in the air…if that air smells like plastic toys.”

“A good husband is one who remembers your birthday, but never your age.”

“Marriage is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because they make you laugh too much.”

“Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.”

“They say marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.”

“My husband always tells me I’m full of surprises. I just hope it’s not a surprise visit from his mother.”

“My husband said he wanted to feel young again, so I hid his car keys.”

“Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is constantly moving, the pieces are cats, and you’re competing against a little old lady with superpowers.”