FUNNY KIDNAPPING QUOTES

“Kidnapping is such an outdated term, I prefer to call it a surprise vacation.”

“If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If someone kidnaps you, make kidnapping hilarious.”

“I wanted to kidnap the Dalai Lama, but then I realized he’s already enlightened, so he probably won’t fall for it.”

“Why did the kidnapper bring a ladder? Because he wanted to ‘escalate’ the situation!”

“Kidnapping someone for their jokes might be morally wrong, but it’s totally worth a good laugh.”

“I asked my friend if I could kidnap him for his birthday, and he said, ‘Only if we can go to Disneyland!'”

“I wanted to be a professional kidnapper, but I couldn’t find the right LinkedIn profile.”

“Ever heard of a kidnapper who got lost? Yeah, me neither. They always know the ropes.”

“If a kidnapper ever asks for my iPhone passcode, I’m telling him it’s 999 He’ll be in for a surprise.”

“There’s a fine line between being funny and being kidnapped. Just ask my friends who plan surprise parties every year.”

“Why did the kidnapper become a stand-up comedian? Because he loved taking people hostage and making them laugh!”

“If you ever get kidnapped, just remember to bring a sense of humor. It might save your life…or at least make the ransom note more interesting.”

“They say laughter is the best medicine, but in a kidnapping situation, a get-out-of-jail-free card would be pretty handy too.”

“If a kidnapper ever tries to take me, I’ll just start beatboxing. I’ll bet he won’t want to hold onto someone making weird sounds!” ALWAYS BE HAPPY QUOTES

“Kidnapping might be a serious crime, but I can’t help but imagine a kidnapper doing jazz hands during their getaway.”

“You know you’ve got a funny kidnapping story when you can retell it at parties without everyone looking at you like they’ve seen a ghost.”

“If a kidnapper ever tries to scare me, I’ll just start doing backflips. It’s hard to kidnap someone who looks like a circus act.”

“Kidnapping is a bad decision, especially when you realize you now have to travel with a complaining captive.”

“If I ever get kidnapped, please make sure the ransom letter has good grammar and punctuation. I can’t deal with kidnappers who don’t respect the English language.”

“Kidnap me if you must, but make sure you bring snacks. It’s going to be a long road trip.”

“I wanted to start a kidnapping comedy club, but it turns out kidnapping isn’t a laughing matter. Who knew?”

“If I were a kidnapper, I’d make sure to let my victims choose the music during the hostage situation. It’s important to keep a positive atmosphere, you know?”

“If a kidnapper ever wants me to join their gang, I’ll politely decline and offer to be their stand-up comedian instead. Laughter is more powerful than violence.”

“I tried to join a comedy kidnapping team, but I didn’t make the cut. They said my puns were too ‘harmless.'”

“If a kidnapper ever tries to lock me in a room, I’ll just start tap dancing. It’s hard to focus on holding someone hostage when they’re shuffling around like a Broadway star.”

“If a kidnapper ever needs a laugh, all they have to do is ask for my best dad joke. I guarantee it’ll make them question their life choices!”

“Kidnapping might be a serious crime, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s a court for pun-ishment.”