“Kidnapping is such an outdated term, I prefer to call it a surprise vacation.”

“If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If someone kidnaps you, make kidnapping hilarious.”

“I wanted to kidnap the Dalai Lama, but then I realized he’s already enlightened, so he probably won’t fall for it.”

“Why did the kidnapper bring a ladder? Because he wanted to ‘escalate’ the situation!”

“Kidnapping someone for their jokes might be morally wrong, but it’s totally worth a good laugh.”

“I asked my friend if I could kidnap him for his birthday, and he said, ‘Only if we can go to Disneyland!'”

“I wanted to be a professional kidnapper, but I couldn’t find the right LinkedIn profile.”

“Ever heard of a kidnapper who got lost? Yeah, me neither. They always know the ropes.”

“If a kidnapper ever asks for my iPhone passcode, I’m telling him it’s 999 He’ll be in for a surprise.”

“There’s a fine line between being funny and being kidnapped. Just ask my friends who plan surprise parties every year.”

“Why did the kidnapper become a stand-up comedian? Because he loved taking people hostage and making them laugh!”

“If you ever get kidnapped, just remember to bring a sense of humor. It might save your life…or at least make the ransom note more interesting.”

“They say laughter is the best medicine, but in a kidnapping situation, a get-out-of-jail-free card would be pretty handy too.”

“If a kidnapper ever tries to take me, I’ll just start beatboxing. I’ll bet he won’t want to hold onto someone making weird sounds!” GOOD QUOTES FROM 1984 ABOUT LIFE

“Kidnapping might be a serious crime, but I can’t help but imagine a kidnapper doing jazz hands during their getaway.”

“You know you’ve got a funny kidnapping story when you can retell it at parties without everyone looking at you like they’ve seen a ghost.”

“If a kidnapper ever tries to scare me, I’ll just start doing backflips. It’s hard to kidnap someone who looks like a circus act.”

“Kidnapping is a bad decision, especially when you realize you now have to travel with a complaining captive.”

“If I ever get kidnapped, please make sure the ransom letter has good grammar and punctuation. I can’t deal with kidnappers who don’t respect the English language.”

“Kidnap me if you must, but make sure you bring snacks. It’s going to be a long road trip.”

“I wanted to start a kidnapping comedy club, but it turns out kidnapping isn’t a laughing matter. Who knew?”

“If I were a kidnapper, I’d make sure to let my victims choose the music during the hostage situation. It’s important to keep a positive atmosphere, you know?”

“If a kidnapper ever wants me to join their gang, I’ll politely decline and offer to be their stand-up comedian instead. Laughter is more powerful than violence.”

“I tried to join a comedy kidnapping team, but I didn’t make the cut. They said my puns were too ‘harmless.'”

“If a kidnapper ever tries to lock me in a room, I’ll just start tap dancing. It’s hard to focus on holding someone hostage when they’re shuffling around like a Broadway star.”

“If a kidnapper ever needs a laugh, all they have to do is ask for my best dad joke. I guarantee it’ll make them question their life choices!”

“Kidnapping might be a serious crime, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s a court for pun-ishment.”