![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZGZ2a2lZMzVwQlltTEZ4WFc4UFd0WlV0ZGtsNWJwbEdQY2xCQVMxcWxDazQ4M2kyL2gyNk5ibnR6WnVmQjZxSVN2bUViL1dGbEtpc2ZhMk01S0xpQVQ0OVVkSk1GL1c0eDRHVy83NjB4YXplSjByeTlPTlVxbERnVlhDT2tBd2o3MGVidDR5NzBHNERTdGZudU5xZEh5M2l0a2NETzRXYUJVd1hVcTZIRFAyYWJ2ZmhIMElPcTNCUHZwUythQU9CQT09/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(023764046cf8492800b81873d8d7e832).jpg)
“I have a lawyer friend who is so good at her job that she can convince you to pay her bill even if you are innocent!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzNPcHNEdC9IeGhhT05NNGFYOEd0TktCREQ5UkJ2MGF0dzJFaWN6eWFxVk8wd0N3OHk2eEpvQ3c3NFB2eUlhYTFjTm4rRCt5c0ltcFhvNEt1ODVGaTlBZmp3bWo1ZEphN0w2eUxoU0RLNndCZkx0V01IeENiWWpqUUh0RFNWaGtVQ1I3WnZzM2dJVmF1V2E0WTV5TVlNc0xQZUFEVkhMd0gyZmxYNE11UmdO/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(a4d6248934e8a93344e2f6b8dcab6cc5).jpg)
“Lawyers are the only professionals who can help you get out of trouble that they might have gotten you into.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAveTBjWVcrTmhyRURXcnorU3NkWkhGK1QwNmxFdm45N3l4anRrUGVIVHNrdmVDN1NWdnlTRzQ2VDNZUGMwSmNGbzFuQXBGY3dDL0hsblVzelFtSjNzY2wyZi9lZ2NhRFRlNzZFVjZpdnV1RmhFRXQ1MmVHS3l3TVErUkZzcUFRT1NNPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(1f559a2a399da6ecce9df79e5b4d1a2a).jpg)
“Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Because even the sand is too guilty for them!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWJhM1FpUFRTaE1GOXFIazB4ZGpVcldhbElGbUVKRTRpU1luRlFQaFl4cnFKR2lqRXA2UHhxUytXV0kzZWhidFg1OWVRRUVQYk5JeTE5OUJqTUxiYWdua2VaSk1TMDl1NlY4Q0NSeFo2Uk8%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(75bcace7af46c1ddf71b18601effdade).jpg)
“A lawyer walks into a bar… and finds an escape clause.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzNPcHNEdC9IeGhhT05NNGFYOEd0Tko0aGQ5Ym5GZkllNDZPRU5qN3Q2R3ZzOFFWOXorOXdaSVV3clVwNVR2cVl6VTRlbUV6LzlHM0dSRk1WcWFmbFhSMC94cGpaYkVyK2ZTQWQ2dEI5RzgxeUd5Nzg0cWdwM1YxcXo3S2tTWXNmY0hBSEFXT25vR3RMbk1uOEE1RGkzT085TmhIajhuQ1B6Nm5HS1J3aGZzWHJNRzA4cnFHTjd0K1pwR3hwUWZ5dz09/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(dec847a20aa00ae5f99ac8ec072d4843).jpg)
“Lawyers are like mushrooms, they keep popping up all over the place and can be quite dangerous if you’re not careful!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzRRVktQZlovaU1XU0RTNTBQVEpsaUpBYlFtSFNVdWQ2bndhNS9kTlBaQldGZVJ1ZXN0QnNhV1ZCeUwzR2tNbXFBeXBieStJcGJvU3plbmVMYTIyUjZGanQwT211ZDd2MkYxM2hwdUJhbGtWeGgzRW5tbVlZTWw3TXFzWHd1UGVlRG9MKzlBTjJRSlVHRWdJcnZ5ZU9tSWhUemdDMWE4MVdraUM0RnRINlNE/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(c72766dabff3e520ed4c8bee25a606d6).jpg)
“My lawyer told me I should settle out of court, so I took his advice and became a judge at a tennis tournament.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNkg5bHlINmd3TVA2T1orMWVyazdJUGk3VVZQWlhmdVFFdndUZ2VpSU9lRDV0Y21ZOGdkZnpVUWM2NWQwZWpOZm9tb0dGbU5obDg3dThoS1c3MDI3YU9uVExMT1lHU3V3NTdrYWMwUTFFQlhBPT0%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(107f2cd70819633be8dcaf1012792ba8).jpg)
“Why did the lawyer become a chef? Because he knew how to cook up evidence!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWE5YSUtuRjBPcW9qN25qTFQwZnpISFl5cW81a3NvT1RTbGUxNVRReWJUS01jUUpBTTBwWlhnK0dJUnN4Yms5S1VwN2ZsUkdWYkY4UFJsRHFuUS9JYVQ0b25wMXUxNXJuMm11ZTF1RVRQd3VnNk5qdzZxRTU4ZXNXVGw2dEhmRTFxOExrOGtZSStIb0lWbWFGTUtOZUNZPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(92ba369a264ba0f68602e3ff3f55e858).jpg)
“A good lawyer knows the law, but a great lawyer knows the judge’s golf handicap.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0x0andnL0pMM0l6U2NhNjRlUlJaZUk2aXFlQWRZZVl3UGhpR2s4YmRFTjNOVllEK0gwY2tCSzNrOGN2dG81dHhSUldtQjA1eTdOcjY4aG5SVFprTCtHU3FheDA4ZkF2R2NLTWI1c2JqYlhrSGt5Sjc4ZUVtVG9YMno4MkNNTExHaDRIOU1VWXNOc0JsbktWSU11Z0ZFPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(33ab15c995ec8a13584ca8be3f7d3b13).jpg)
“Why do lawyers love Shakespeare? Because they love a good ‘motion’ in court!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzNPcHNEdC9IeGhhT05NNGFYOEd0UEpGbXFkOTA4SFRBMW4wdERldzRtSDF3MTYwSkNEM01DclZrTEkxRTd0U2hmZ25CT2F4NjNrRHNXa2tieG9qSkg2Sm1YZXVFOFFJalNPV29UbmRPOGdlekZZRU4rSkNnYkpBYnI1WWdCOTh0d0JaSVRHU2JDTWZ1Y2ZPNXZQbUlGYjlhVGcwdmZ5dThvOW5WMXBjaWpj/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(b2722f9dedf33f6be0343c5c5e7895bb).jpg)
“Lawyers are like vampires, they only come out at night and love to suck the life out of you in court!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYmlxeWtvdVNoTTVsZVpReVRsRFFmaEVZd0hjOUt4NTlNSVFONlpmb3hQanlQaGg5aXZoSTlQY0tOR0M4eFM3RTM3ZGlOa3RiNzFNSEZ1d2JVMGRBcjJoY0xIQ3pPTTZ0a1BMWGlVTXNsYWc%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(d6914b60f50b9b0b6167c7d86e8b4c34).jpg)
“How do you know a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVU5FMWRtQXZUQkZyRmp4dlQ4TGdWd2V3WTlDNnBXT255Y1EyN0RUSTBMYWNzTGJiVjMyWEg4aExzaG1ndFJaV1pKUFNNYzdkYk5ueVFBcVhMSWFLMDF3V0FWVVArUTh6Um52Ynowc0lLRlZWVWdEY2JldW5xMEJWVlJyckhBVG9FRjVKNjRXU0FMR0RCN1YyNVhWNVA2a0lSU3JFK095U0hLMGJqS1BLcDhFVmxQdlRteG80bUloRlFUU2o0NnRqdz09/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(94f94dcfdf6182d990854ce4e2fdf470).jpg)
“If a lawyer can be disbarred for professional misconduct, can an architect be disbricked for construction misconduct?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzNPcHNEdC9IeGhhT05NNGFYOEd0T0xiYkd1eGpBRlFrWnZobC9aV05RMmdHUmJ0dGNjcXpmK3hMWGxqa1JGRkh1dVFPNDFaSytrekhzNjUwMFoxV3BnU3NWSnBZRC84SlVUWDhBQ3hXSndLd004aEpGVlpSbklUUEJqNDQ1ZU5ibXB2MXFCV2FwL1JieXdTM09EblcvTUZCVEZpS1NPMFVoMTlabjFxYStxNXNmV0ZMdU55OVB1VzgzYm80M3o2QT09/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(528cd7a170b73bd691f9368ef17cdcd2).jpg)
“Lawyers have to keep their arguments brief, otherwise, they might be held in contempt of court… and fashion!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrN3oycGE4L2piSC8yQzVmRll6bmxMUWhvWmZTaXNYTXI2eU1neHVWN25ueGJlNS9adk8xU0xjVVlTUE1nSDZGeU1pRFp4WlUrTTlHTkxDWk45M2poa1BwY1YyYTZiY2NGNmwvdXpGNVF0RHhpWWtYOVFGakNKbWpMUzdpZkxYcmFnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(f9d69a478909630ecf1970bd9eaac14e).jpg)
“Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? He wanted to present his case step by step!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWJhM1FpUFRTaE1GOXFIazB4ZGpVcnhIUnQvdGE1QVdiS2xWdW5zTmlnL0tVTjRYNTBXUWZrZkxWb043d29rcDVvSkI1cGo0VUpkS1ZnaEZSK2hHdmdiWnhiZm9HQ2wyblFnVzR2VkY5dGV1QkEzSktTU2FXdDN2UGt2Z3lxRlRnPT0%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(a2d6ef173f2217b871da533424b929c4).jpg)
“A lawyer’s favorite dessert is just a torte waiting to happen!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVS96ODB0bHloQmt3c0R3MDJTZVR1NDlhWXpZT3d3WmVrOU5PZGVvNzBiYWVFRjRhcllBY3RPVjdXL3dLb3ZsYjhDdjZKUmtEMFBPTEtrRC83aDVKdTVTdWViUHRXSEFyZEcxSEJCRzFwV1FYZ3BKTllHRDVLeS8wSXRzUEs1MGtZWE9wVXcwL1VJYy82Rk5GcUVrb0lTZWNuVXNpeHI5RlVwSnJtcXN0VlZZQT09/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(da29c805f4374d7a1428086427968680).jpg)
“I asked my lawyer if he could help me get acquitted from jury duty, but all he did was object!” QUOTES FOR LITTLE DAUGHTER
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrN3oycGE4L2piSC8yQzVmRll6bmxMUThkNlRCaDU2U3YxMHl4cGQ5L1hUb3VVSVprY0VVbDJIVjFDVzJNeWJWYUV3TSs2cllWSWlUdk8xcjNNR0s1cHZGLzd6eCsvWTlZMHRnZEpWdUhRZk9XQStTSjBRazJZTXEzVCs5L3hwWjRzPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(69e3dbc6656a5b3fc1d4f86c8cefef2f).jpg)
“Why did the lawyer bring a pepper spray to court? In case of a spicy cross-examination!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzNPcHNEdC9IeGhhT05NNGFYOEd0TUlGT1VFeDg2OEloNm5GYTVZd3NwTk0zckZCRDU3dDcwb2RGUm45OVNWWmYwYmgzdVpTKzFFdWR0UzZodHRDa1RhZU5oRElycnRlSTdJZ1ZlUDRxZHpqVElZODNzUVFQVGNrOWxtbzhwUUlnPT0%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(a1be8ed6e9a25d148147dec39a8e4608).jpg)
“Lawyers are like glue – they stick to any case until it is settled!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0x0andnL0pMM0l6U2NhNjRlUlJaZlRxRDhlZnFVRUIxZXlRK2JTYm1uYU9naEt0N3BkQ3JmL3BpK1Z5b05XR0lsWHJNa00rRldaL004bWxzd1JabGEwdGJFZ0FkOHFUL2RyRVJUS1NCY0NZNURpUVNYRlQ3YWNzV0xsczBHeUJwME1VL3ozVjVsSnhsaCtkQ0VFSkZzPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(a61f7f6de915d2b72dd282b23c879837).jpg)
“Why do lawyers make good comedians? Because they’re experts at splitting sides!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNkg5bHlINmd3TVA2T1orMWVyazdJUGVNVTN6dTdRTzFxdS9lbmh1aDNtUmdla3haNm9hTGQ2T09uQ1JUR2pIYVJpRmVISUZzbWxsUHVRRVlUYnFWcVdSL2gvZGtRWHo3cnIvUkVXTi9iZ2lnPT0%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(c785cae4f7eed26a5e5e9622f90848a2).jpg)
“Why did the lawyer become a plumber? He excelled at handling leaky cases!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZWd5TkkydEhOMzgvQmd1MFVyTmhZOGxVWkIxbkx5bjlnTGNUSWljMGxBZ24yRnZidkhTZ3BuSmFLZ24veEp5MktoTjhNSEYwWXpkQ2hqV3p5V2toRzZhSy9CaDRDNWJQeHJETUZvc0hObDlMVSt2eitMSHh0ZThVN043NExzd09wWGRzMjdmMW5BZ0xySG9UQnNXaVZFTHJOK3JEVTFXU0FHWVQ4NW9yclRR/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(27f3977c3ca3778ac4922cbefa960cba).jpg)
“What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more per hour.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFeEk5VnpxcEdpaGJKQXpMcmZlS3dvV0xJTHVsQjU2TFBqU29ESGNSdUtvaGRPMzRtZkhvd0tpRXdnQVl1V0dsRitkcWVGb0pETEthU3hRR05GQnVMMThXL25adFUrUW9QajVDYnowUmVMd05NZ3lVTjQ3aHI1d2dWckwzZFFJUytZQTg1T3M2M1NKSVhFQnF0QjFPR3FOdDlNL05XNTV2ZWF4aWlZSnhDVWxHYzlMOFk2RHFuM0dUd3VOWnV3clBFTGhkWjc1dkdWODV6RGxwaEhJTG5wTg%3D%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(3b730e5ac67c0e5ddf4e8b66a5f5ecb3).jpg)
“I told my lawyer I wanted to file for divorce, and he said, ‘Do you have a good case?’ I said, ‘Of course, I have a Samsonite!'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzNPcHNEdC9IeGhhT05NNGFYOEd0TTFYYXp2eVduNERGeVZ3NWYxODhjbFNLeUhtT081MTdFNm4zWGFZVFJ0bFRkNDNWUkhxaFh0OGFNb0UvS1hkMFJhelBURjhrRFlwWmd6VjNFSkVZb1lLYlBHUUM4dkswSnR3aXV3SFhNVVhVWGNiRjE4OUE4MlF1VGExVXowb0liVjZhaVJqbFVBTllmSWZSVmFteUxN/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(3ff540e26a46c1c413464a2d3a9a6037).jpg)
“Lawyers are like cats – they always land on their feet, especially if they’re billing by the hour.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWJhM1FpUFRTaE1GOXFIazB4ZGpVcnhIUnQvdGE1QVdiS2xWdW5zTmlnL2pSWVdMdkhsUkVrWUxUemxrZWptRVVoSkZXSnVQN2d0bFhwVmRsdDhzY2d2S3ZHbC9QeUhnYWYrOG5yNlQ5c2s%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(702281659660b581581ad0af5f2f9cd5).jpg)
“A lawyer’s favorite type of music? Legal tender!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNkg5bHlINmd3TVA2T1orMWVyazdJUGVyZUUyZ0c4TzZncURHUVRVdkdVNFBTclNZUTNobmRpRlVZNk5uNGk1K0xXaHMvNWxOTnRNYVlxTm1wWHJ4VnI0Q0FWcTQwOEtuTitOS25rZzlnSDZBPT0%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(a678126f42b1936851d81bb054501f5a).jpg)
“Why did the lawyer become a musician? He had a great sense of ‘appeal!'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzNPcHNEdC9IeGhhT05NNGFYOEd0UFZYeDNYRHRQQ1ZVdzEwZ3lNaWJrVzJ1cHBBeGNJS0QwM2tsR0EzQkd3dEsya2tiNWMyUnZYeTVqaXQvcWJDZlBCSEl0cjFsV2lPcW5iemcvN0h3dm5qZmhBMktrd1FoYkpxemh1bU5OaFB5cjkvdVF6VFZMWFY2RDdwZHFYUFBPemVpeU50YXJaY1pFV3hCWlk5UEZkclVWak5teHFvQU9tWTFjdVpYcUIwUT09/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(d31043b2aa0ce56abfdd13206f364fcb).jpg)
“Lawyers are like onions – they have layers, make you cry, and sometimes you just want to throw them in a stew.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWkdtdjc1YXg3NFJKaUY4a2ZqQnM2VS95OU8rQUJwSk1NZHJnMUZWOExxUE0vcStLT3pWdDdwcnVYSjAzZ0REeDZDNG0valJjRnZuUllQQlpkUlMzT1hYZkhEalBMNXhSV09Bb0J4Q2pJZXk%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(77a220732f91fa4d13703d77ecda26d4).jpg)
“How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips start billing!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNkg5bHlINmd3TVA2T1orMWVyazdJUDF5b3U4eW1ZaUFhMllxNXkwNDh5M0pjVlZFTk1CcE51KzVBSk51ZHkvQkRRMXYwbytPSDJXNGFXQWpWOUNDTXdUOUxpZit3bU9ZVzdwajFNK2g0dVF3PT0%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(a4231d7e14b17e711e407a89ad4c182b).jpg)
“Why did the lawyer become a magician? He loved to make evidence disappear!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUzNPcHNEdC9IeGhhT05NNGFYOEd0TlE1VExjQ1R0ZjZmSjZnSW1IKzBaTmNrSUFMbTVxd3c0RCsvMXowQmI5Z3BGSGVMalJHUTEwQUJkcFVkUWY0bWR6UDJUNDYrY283STU5OGlhTDZuMjh6ZHJTV0RHbndDSkx4NDhlVFpVV1ZnPT0%3D/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(834cba36a71d146867782dc0fc576198).jpg)
“Lawyers are like coffins – they’re always carrying a lot of briefs!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNkg5bHlINmd3TVA2T1orMWVyazdJUEpWSlZmSlcwdlRvbnRiQTkySW4vbnZqTmJzYWxncDRJeHFFQTFIajJIZ0tRcmgrSllmMXpadTEzR1YyLy9uaXEvYzVTYm01TEZUeWdSSjdSU3dHZjNXb0RWMjBCOHozaTNvTkM3SEFQektDSHJqMHI0TnhKVDNSV0hhclkxMGxabUE3RmZhbjkvdFZtZWRDYVVSYkNPZz09/FUNNY+LEGAL+QUOTES/(d99fe854de18d4b8506723281c5110ca).jpg)
“Why did the lawyer become a farmer? He was tired of the courtroom and wanted to sow and ‘reap’ some justice!”