FUNNY LIFE QUOTES SAYINGS

“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“I’m not a complete fool, some parts are missing.”

“Some people just need a high-five…in the face…with a chair.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just allergic to gravity.”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…she gave me a hug.”

“Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m screaming the whole way.”

“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

“Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it the most never use it.”

“If there’s a will, there’s a way… and usually a bunch of excuses.” STRONG PERSON QUOTES

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.”

“I don’t hold grudges, I remember facts.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just giving the floor a hug.”

“I’m starting a new workout routine called ‘I try to make it to the refrigerator more often'”

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

“I don’t need anger management, people just need to stop pissing me off.”

“I’m not old, I’m just young at an awkwardly high number.”

“I’m not always late, but when I am, it’s usually on purpose to avoid small talk.”