![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TVEVGa29MNnlLZG9vaXhFVkJQSzY4RzBhekczTzczWUpoSHRwVERwbFRnWlFGN2xhcjg3ZFRBbTc1VnpIOWJNRjcvZFNGeS9JSjBtd01kSFR3L2YrNTY1dksycjBtTGNFOWlJNDhkUjZnTDBBPT0%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(1e157569325bf0c2ac40ea86fc7ee990).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just falling with style.” – Toy Story
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZkRmNDhCN2daM0xNM1UwQmlaWHkra2tyenk3WTd0TEp4Y1ZPbTZYbXlpZlN5S2c4eVJKRWpFbWhZcCtIa21NeTY%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(205c355bef0370c6f1c3ed1f0393ca4d).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just in energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWUlJwQzF0cWlvTjJpQ3JPNUJRN00rNzBGOFZ2MWpDTFh3MFE2TUE0aU1udVI1WDgwd1JlR2xjUmhvTGxsOWV3ZGs9/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(5639f03182d657c00677bb4db26c78e2).jpg)
“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkphZWxiSUVyWlpBOUVTUSswejl4bXQ1eUg2SC9NdExDb3NMcVZoRE1WN1ZaMmlWQ1BNR1BiQm5aOXJ0TEdTWXdOWXlnQkRRMTRuNFJSc2hmKy9VdXU%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(96c71cadea9c7ee7d1c386a18f869a61).jpg)
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWUjA0Wnd0ZDFYTlpHR2Vqc0FBcDlyZ2NQaFhKamlpT0JWOWJwQmJSbDdVL2pmWVRScFVVNVJoemJPZ1MyWnIwUkJuUDh1cEhWY1hxSUJZZU9vT2s2RGc%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(7c87a6383c7fa02c2c64c9e82e4bd401).jpg)
“Life is too short to be taken seriously. Laugh at yourself!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWhJSzVOOVA2dnJ5SE5HT0xiYXVNZjdQT0hja1VMdVN0SC9kVHRsM1o5T21FeUVmSjdnZ1cySllHQXZ5UmYxTFEvT0swVkFLK1NHN1J1azlGWXU1V2dhS1VFQ0Y3OE9Gbi8xRTNBaXpFY2Q%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(8ec80d306b7555a28d03b63b6ce78b36).jpg)
“The road to success is always under construction.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZVNjckw0U1ByT3VCcngvYWw3V0FidDlvNXlieldKTGhieTh1cDY4MXAxUHpEaWdOdnAzR2JkdnRFRzVML29rUTN6RGtHMEpUTVAvMDZwVDRsaWxLRjkxalVyZyt4UUU2UmIxYjZSRGFRajZnPT0%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(3bb9402003ea3f075caa9cacf011a945).jpg)
“I’m not procrastinating, I’m just on motivational standby.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUZVQ054alg4Q1dkeDlHTE5TcTI2V2Y5RmI1Snh5ODdMeWwzeWxSbmFONzN4RjI2Y0JSTzdYZEVBcUxXRmhkUEhBPT0%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(8224eaeab62d41e5b143990a154c8656).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V3NGandRQmtnaDVMTWVTeno2R2RZRStqOElQMm5GOWFSUU5rZ0hKM1k0UlNZdmdxUitHVS83bEdxSndEOTQrdW0%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(8f770d03e0930c2e7592a460fe5d5985).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjQxN2pUVmhYM044N2Q4WEp1TG5CN01scTUrcXFTUklFUGVyWFVpclhWUTJEVUROL1YyZXZ0c0k4c3NkalVpTWlhZDNrdWRJQ2lhby9oUk5yc1RHcUo0cGxwb1o2TDM1VzVObkYvNmIydGM%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(8b5a6b8ba9b83e459af54106c7fb4360).jpg)
“I finally realized that diet stands for ‘Did I Eat That?'”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWi9Fd2IxZTNrT3dkWVNwVGhrSGh1YjZyU1hoVzVob3JPMUJiYk9IeUxyQk5NdmpnemhrUVVpeW54S0Z0eUovZXVyT2VDOTRaVCs2T0lMU3lRRDRTa1FvampHS1hlR2NQeFhsa0tzY2l6enI%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(888b9225c84d7fd044746e33c6155bf8).jpg)
“I can resist everything except temptation…and pizza.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZHlIR3BoYk1QRzNNK2VmVDNVZTRYZjFvc0lyTGxvNUVvN3ZQVXZDV2w2MDFQOVpLNTM4VGNwY2tnb2gvQkxMcVlzSm5qeVdGblVoc0FPNjM4N1RuNFQzN0RWOUFXdXBNY3UyZE9kWGE3Sm9ZODVNT0ppZXdHQVd5ZHJjZUNWOXRjPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(35b350d37c7e92963ca9091185682eb0).jpg)
“I’m not afraid of heights, just widths and lengths.” NEW PARAGRAPH FOR QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0RXYVYwZjJlWGpleXVtTGJkWStTdVQwa0pDZ01jY3JWUWY0d2hnNFFtM0N5SmNLUC9MeEhlY3hHYWNIa2ZyOCt1YXRzUUpOVjZLU2kxNGdHdzh6MjdpNzRObE9wNjBmVDRDS2RSaUpRWUgvbi9qd3djcVBiMzZHM3BGY2lOdHlBPT0%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(83dc59681850ec5293d7a95cecf5a1c0).jpg)
“I may be a beginner at some things, but I excel at being awesome.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZjNzdnVIU0VCcytENmpVd1VWMGVCTU51VkY4b1JyNkdwVnZ0YTNyTjdKYStQdVNZZElac1FDR3o2SlhTRHdxVTk2OUhmT0FkQ0dEd2I2Z3N5bVg4WjFnaDdnUDdvZjlkK3IxdXVqaStFNmFnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(80d451213f47e4231d7324f33848d5d6).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aDZwRWpwR0JxaUxUWHBPUUovVXhaODdQa29ybW9wSTdPZFA5cldZalUxVmNDMmtub1ZNdVJmVFN0L3FGQXVHd2FZZTlxTnZnd0ZwOWJhTUt2VnVzbDFyZWx3RGFuTVByMWozdUJobUticUh3ZkM1YitEeGxwMTVSZ0hlVjM3S3JNPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(d5696f98895ee51d0e6b7c9887a8f88e).jpg)
“I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock-hard abs.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUp6SWlDQ21oZWlVekt4K3hJMTM3cjBjdVJyNHBjeXVlc1JlN1hWaTgzWmpBdWtDcHE0NUxtTzRNUnhmSmdOK3B4alExRmF1ZUF4RFBkOHJGQ1V5cjVSa0dHR1d1SjZPR05XY1pYSGw0ZmE%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(0762170e152d6baf0753a83805270acf).jpg)
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z0VEZ1JSZmZkK2NqZzFJOTV3dm9mMnp1Tk1PY2Z6N2lTdElDVytqZlZBZ1kzQWU3YWtnVnJOWjlUU0N6N2owSkV6SDJGOSthZmwzcGtHL3BzT0lKMFU%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(5b9479d89387f3794d70adc5e3e87851).jpg)
“I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvUER6QnFFaUJIdEwvMSswdXRYUVhpNFpMM2pPeEJ4OWwyY0dnaG5zQWkwMkFDZWhLZ2lkUW1YMG1sWUtyZGRkVXlzZWxFNjM1Tzdka1Jycko3SG5CUGV3NVpQS3hRMHZxRHJadDhQR0VJUlFLSzR2KzBjOHJpMFpZRUQ5RVE0Y3hNPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(d7feb847d0659401e3dbf1e6d2684d5f).jpg)
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of loan payments.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYW5xSzdKWHFKTmZncVZZTWNwY29NU1g1YnJreUJ0YldvRHBMNXdxakF6K2x6eW1iRHdqVGdSVDFicGxuWkV5YmhYN0RnQkdMNEROYWhwV1Q1NHdhb0Vsc1paUm5ScWVUSDZyMmVVQUFCSVF0dVRCMS9aZTBaUU9ObmpXRmt1RzJvcUJvTHVBdTcrS2Z6MDFoN1FDM1ZnMllId3dwMTdzWnh3QkpYSndDRTI2/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(129516e738e9ce34586c16a8348312f7).jpg)
“I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aUtHVlpWY0tYVHRxa3VOZGdBYmFmNmF1eUFxREhzT21GQnpNRHZYRnhwVjdOUUdvU3B3U0IrQ0dOK0lMVUp6R0pUeFRYaDlVT1lCRDFmY09vN25DWHU%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(d3881865a47536787c591ed246159873).jpg)
“I don’t trip over things, I do random gravity checks.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0RXYVYwZjJlWGpleXVtTGJkWStTc09BMU9uOGRDTW4xU0RsK0gwU0RFTkh4QUZpQ2tFZ1daMUR2YWtDUnVkVXFPcjFrUlhjbjdYdGY0VzRoNVJELzA9/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(982fd5584557d80df5b06f84fb5114ea).jpg)
“I may be short, but I’m full-sized fun!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVjFOaWlaZVVQdmxaQ3dJVXVLVHdldzRCNlBpM0psbVpvTDdqelJ2N3FYVllVWXRQSDFQTFpXSWJVT3BRdElISm5iVXV1am1ZdXI2OGM0eTZxelRFL1JNLzJHVnMwNzl6WlJjNWMrZzVwSUE%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(c398f8d28227b11ef50b10476d10dbb9).jpg)
“My wallet is like an onion, whenever I open it, it makes me cry.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWHpXeUs0cXJGMU5aL0pHZC9CcDRaK2wxVndidDZhblJKY1pjd1FGNzlZS3ZpcitrYXNaOUR3UGNDSHE4elVXVUs1ZzNuak5sYlhmUzdQZ1NUem5jaGFYUFFMNEJuZzd5UjR5dUJTbTNnWnA%3D/FUNNY+LIFE+SAYINGS+AND+QUOTES/(a09a7f7f431755986c6ce48092ed06ea).jpg)
“I accidentally chewed on a pen and now I’m blue.”