FUNNY MEDICAL QUOTES AND SAYINGS

“Laughter is the best medicine, unless you have diarrhea.” – Unknown

“The doctor of the future will give no medicine but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease.” – Thomas Edison

“I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” – Henny Youngman

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” – Mark Twain

“Time is a great healer, but a terrible beautician.” – Unknown

“I feel so healthy! I may die of a stroke so I won’t have to die of cancer.” – Chasing Life

“I’m not a doctor, but I watched a whole season of Grey’s Anatomy.” – Unknown

“I’ve got a PH.D. in Communications: I’m Poor, Hungry, and Determined.” – Unknown

“During surgery, I wonder if the surgeon ever thinks, ‘Wow, this is just like Operation!'” – Unknown

“I think I’m allergic to morning. Every time it comes around, I start sneezing.” – Unknown

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” – Unknown

“Hospital food is like airplane food, minus the excitement of actually going somewhere.” – Unknown QUOTES ABOUT CHANGE LIFE

“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.” – Unknown

“Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability.” – William Osler

“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!” – Unknown

“The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.” – Voltaire

“I only go to restaurants that do brain surgery at the table.” – Woody Allen

“I wish to live to 150 years old, but the day I die, I wish it to be with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.” – Ava Gardner

“I got a flu shot but apparently, it was just a malarkey shot because I still feel terrible.” – Unknown

“I have a love-hate relationship with my stomach. We are on a seafood diet – I see food, and I eat it!” – Unknown

“I’m not a doctor, but I played one on TV.” – Gerald Ford

“If I had a dollar for every time WebMD told me I had cancer, I could afford the medical bills.” – Unknown