FUNNY MOOD QUOTES

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…She hugged me.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.”

“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”

“If there’s a will, I want to be in it.”

“I don’t need Google, my wife knows everything.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just allergic to gravity.”

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

“You don’t have to win every argument, just once would be nice.”

“I’m not addicted to chocolate, I just have a special relationship with it.”

“I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I’m blaming you.”

“Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it the most never use it.”

“I love everyone. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I’d love to punch in the face.”

“I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.” SHORT DOG LOVE QUOTES

“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are still upgrading.”

“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.”

“My patience is wearing thin, and by thin, I mean nonexistent.”

“Why do we park in driveways but drive on parkways?”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…She hugged me.”

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.”

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.”

“I’m not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.”

“I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me.”