![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYStrZDk0WXFtK29YVkhHbUdFbWZwaFpJbjlZd1dYN2pQODdYTVdjaG5ON1hnUGtKL2d0dDFqNU9HWFV0ZTBxQkcxYlBpejlIV3BnTVRJbHlwUXpNaWcyMlF4bXR6YThqZDc4MmMzeGRicjQ%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(f3b7c64bd4e2d1d364cd7d942e6c977d).jpg)
“I am so hip, even my errors are correct.” – Bob Monkhouse
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUNRZDhNT2tQNVdHZ0h2Umk3eUt2TUJFOHREamY1RTJGdHF6dkVkeFUzSnFUVS9odzIreDFEcDFzRnFuRDYyOXRnPT0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(754d436b5990578023b28bdce1b2944c).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYVJXaGxkdER6KzhMQjhGYW91REhvYVJkUjZsUUpnRTlQTmllL0NBeGNjMnArSlhYMkxZenl5bHI3TmwvSlNHczlTNk51K0kxS2lDckwrVnpwV0IwTk0rUWV0ZnViSGpNem93K0R0U2JFNE9nUjdjYnArcnRpeWpVcUJlbW5lYzk1ZlBwbGZEb291bUpCOXFZUHpvNWdJPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(77874d1a6732d9944f7663cd9dcdfae8).jpg)
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – Winnie the Pooh
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkh0bG5GRlJ5VkZUT01lVllCUmtoeGU0Z1ZWS3F5dlZGOUJoSzBBdC9wY3JTUjdYOEtzTHpXVUtHUUx6bWhtS2xRMEFmcUE0SUpOL2lxYUQyb1JtdEhBd1lTQkVIUHZpZWtZa1VKWjFnaWk%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(23b0e7de93a50f1646119582399773a5).jpg)
“Dogs have masters, cats have staff.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEl4U1ZwT3lsT1RmZmoyMzFtcGNZWFlTU2dhNEJRdHk1TVV2REhyOGRpdHM0anJERG4rYjFqVC96T1JWTTJrQTVHTGNVc2FYd205dUpzYy82Q2dWb2ZhenQ3TGRJSXFPVDRDRFY1NldWUXNGczZZMmdxdzhQRjdpRTl3bkdUeks1QkdUcGZQamlyV2oxdnliM1pYcVM0PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(f74af841ebabfe430bc9138b93e9fa5c).jpg)
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFlaZ1ZuM1VERFZCMWJuWWVLWDkvTFNRM1FERGE4TTlhS3p2bHF1UHVJSGlRUXhlN21JWmdvK2tvc01HKzRMcDNYR0hsRWs5ZzhkVWRzL2JUVEhhSDlESVF6ZmFEMENMc3RoRGU4T21mVVJnPT0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(74c33081899c38f56c8515a439d27d03).jpg)
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.”- Robin Williams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVThEbExPeHlOTEIyRkN3TzNBaTI3MnlaMGRXVU9IUUtlb1doU0ZSMlFNUmFncDd2V2NjaHpuMkM5Y2N4RFNHOVFGbXNrRHpYbkVpUGg4c2gxdjNyR0VDaDRkb0VaZExxMXBUWnpwUzVLZ0orT1p5TWY1cWdrWWVCWERVR2NoaFppMm1wSDJUbmpaS1hpemI0S0VjTFVxOVFWRUFpYW9KVStkM0tLUHl5T3ZLM2VjK2FRQ3NmalpNZ3pJL3g1dlc0dz0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(f4c9e982659661494a0dccf49f460141).jpg)
“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” – Emo Philips
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZkw0SVdKUEF3YlZIMlZuRXZHZW5rektJMm80V29pNGhvRFV4WTNWSGNZQjRSN2pEamNPWTBmaFJaTlB2RmxsV1dRNUp0U3orSUR2R1R0TDZSR20vTjBnPT0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(f568d92f87557243f7510d2e817039dc).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteGVVazRVSFV4S1BJNGtUL3dJanhPbTFqVzA0SHhaTHVMcEdsTTlkVVNiNmtORmJRSmdDZjFPNDBMUklJc0pQaFUzRndwUkxWb1VrSEVORkpQWVAyZkk%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(2663dbe42c14b619ce93a8ec43c3403c).jpg)
“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0RXYVYwZjJlWGpleXVtTGJkWStTc0RhWjUvTmk3MHZVRWE2YUxQd0MzUHZLNlhnem9qcEkyTTRwc1RiMjNXalRjRkhMMndyNmd5T1c1dDRid3dFYUQ3LzY4dnQzSEx2dmdERWhtOEM3Zkg%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(06e709f7841843dd8527ec16c2d547bb).jpg)
“I may be a genius, but I can’t fix stupid.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUl6YmJBNU8xem5vY29vbHRMOFRTWTZWS0ZvOFh2M3dDYm9rNnBic2hrTUZPMG1kZmZNUGliM01Ed08wNDRwTGs3QzlhZ0FocnkwSkp4bEl1MkhhSHBwZlplUFJGUGUzTWQ4SDFNMzNRVzZqZ3lLTUJjc2pjMjJTNkJNcXZIZWtRPT0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(a283008de0b9b1a3484b3f097ff2d1a1).jpg)
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDZzBGV295c3NOa3gwNlRMYkYvUXNzblJRdjNGYU9tVmZHVmtGS0RHMGtNb3ZRUGlEYXp0YmFGK1FRZ05mNHByREgxQnlodEkvbE5jRTlubnhvYU1xQ29YcHEzbW9BYkMyRW4yTUYyS0s5czhNOUhGbFFQZDRHbkUxVHBxaWd0NytRPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(10d37d8599470abbc2e7ef9163d2dc0e).jpg)
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXN0cHFIUk1KWCtGVk5oa2VxNG9vcUNxZW5DK3h2NXNLTlFWYkdUK1NBdXVlWUVuc0tvNmpxbXJ5VzFZOFBrNStESWRXM2NwNEhXa09rMHhDckhrTTdpUEdTSkRjQm8zRVRMSHd2ck1WMmNkb0VlVERyTjlWM2pvUTBwa2RXQjZ5alpFdWFNTndSMDNDb2Fhb2tSSG1mWEJGbkJOZDVRYVNFOHJCVFYycG0r/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(35243e8cdae118a5e63a19183c6b81f2).jpg)
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.” – Bill Murray
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVHdqTTI3MVRSQ2lZZTNEMnk2UnQvSlhrWFF3T2V3SXhxWm82QjRoKzVkSWtGdXhlY3BjS3RnMmdrN2ZVS21QZjlKMjFUL3dRa2VRZFNDbG1GNHVmR0dpbER6RTJWbEJJTFA0UXQ4eHlDbFFEa2VsWUI3dFBJZE5ldzZiY3A2TUYrWXp5VVk3Zms3aU1ZT1RLTzJ3VU9yWG1qakdRMGlxTDliNEk4SVdNcjh1czBpTXdtTTJHQXU1NS9KZlgxNUNzU2RkMnZiaE0ybGxTcS9GRFJkbHMyYz0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(dfcd8efe5ba7799094ef31e7a27db3f4).jpg)
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. They won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde QUOTES ABOUT FRIENDS BEING LIKE SISTERS
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsNFJ0T1N3K2cyZlRWR3d0Wk50QWNDYVFvcHhOajROY0pzVm1kSlFlMjVHK0QzNWFMakRrTkhKYTNzS0l6ajhPcGZHZW01bjZPbzJ0VGlObHdnK21zY1dFNGNhck1XKzJCaHQ1Z2FXa0N3dzFHOUhBWXBVUWErSjFSSllHUFBaL1o5Wk1LSkxRYTEyTFl6Z0RUOXZrY25iV29ocldDUE8xMUZ0Uk1HTEZ3a3pzQT09/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(369c4cbd2b4077afed3a59efbec49201).jpg)
“I have an irrational fear of wasted time. I turned it into a drinking game. Now I’m wasted all the time.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFViYU5MbGRVa0FNNWZuMTFUR2FFTlc1UkhKYU1DTU45d3pxRkFkSVp2eWlvSS9Jdm0wa0ZyQmk0dk8xOXZqSHNIVWY3aGlXQitHa1UxUjNtbGM4ZGI%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(ba373c84e6c8057cd7ab8e34c63714a1).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVjFOaWlaZVVQdmxaQ3dJVXVLVHdldzRCNlBpM0psbVpvTDdqelJ2N3FYVm0zWS9WbUpxaXpuY1drVHVPN2M0RHc4V0JqSkRSeldUUFNMSTZzaXVPSWZrd2NSRjRQVWcydkNUS2dOa096Q09LV0VqZ0FvMFllcE5lMm9ONURrQWd3PT0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(383db54528e58559d438e0a93579b46f).jpg)
“My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V3pseEFEdnFKOFBDbkorZzBUSkREYkZTTDhZS2NDbXVtMzhYMkNyUVlUdW9KN2xncWRtbUNvN0RDODVyQVQzSU8rczBpMU9MdHBOK1kxOWJJVHd2SDVhUEJnMG9VVGpPMHcvSmpxRlZuVjFRPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(7ab0c49c0fa99997cb7bc709b3ef0f3a).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZmZFREo1L3VZZnVqMXlaUlBuUmowSDV4b1BSZTBPZi9RRHVoMWZqVVY1QjFPUXZEdVJoWC9UTGE5TlpJb1FnandSN0FLQWVyc2E0V2xPeWxHeUxYZlRCcU02TWsvZ21iMjJ2OHlrSGJ3ZFZtN0x1SStkejRxOGVHSzAwTEVsRkEr/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(cff7ebd2b684bc3b6385b95b845c1fa2).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMUktyVHhXaDJURmdBOXdKdG4wWDhsU3BBbGpHTmtCbjlWdmtQMHNFSU9mUzlWRlByNHBJY1NTUS81cDFUT3VTbTlPZkxPL1JxYW42RDdjRWxNdVJIMW1RMzNXeHgxNldnRGlDUG9UWHN6OWpnPT0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(508d7490b0df196754b2b5a8d78f5bd3).jpg)
“I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZU5QU1p0dld0RWhIS1NTTWJRVGNNZzVWM2pwaDljRXNvRWFMYWFsbTB4Z3hUYzRrODBPYndNVGVlRTkxWCtvN0xEWVFoLytYbWRwSURIZm92eTJVU0l5eERudXRUL1Qxd3ZRdG5SQ0RDNE0yR3VoWW4xckVzZDdSTC9VOE5IcVV0WDR2OVQ2ZW4zaERDSEVpaFBzSmg2/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(8ea400d5c35349a5b17da7b645f4eb6a).jpg)
“I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZndkUnpSQjFQRU4wbVpPMDFCS3FCcnlUQWRuNVlGNmNuWHpIVFFTSDBWdWZHYUVnN2lnTnJMNWljb2NLVFpsT0RDN3llMHp5ZkNTdVBLL2I1dlpkNWxnPT0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(6927a55746e9c32616f350b47bbd2663).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.” – Garfield
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0p5cU1nc215NDc1M0h1aWYvOE50azdpK0dKU3VYbkx6bDZwZE5lc2hqVzVTR1Nua09FVTlKUW01WnVkeWZKNjhoV3NIMVhzaUNmNkV5VnJPVk55SU9PcVljaGNoUXVJc3BaaUdhYTl2SWxXcDhITWVTU0dhbVNqK0ptR1E1MHpVbEpyQ0JKN2FwUUxVdUlXKzB1UjVFZmxZNHovMFI0SGt1ZEF1QUZNWVlMYUQrRk9EUmNqcnVEUExrWG1tUmNCOD0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(31c2962c322f2348f0256ecefe02d7e7).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls are just plain mean.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZTdwN2VSSHRUZWZITmpXR1NpQTJmNktlRzAvbHFYSUJLUTVqTERSL3JmOVlrNzJsN3lGZVRuT25hWExHdjB6Z29nc3JuZDJOaktLbnNnUEJSUVpFQk52QnpDc1NqamVSOFlCNzAvVjBnMXhnPT0%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(4b69dcb833fc42b34fb48168f3582889).jpg)
“I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWW9tZkY4L29zWGw4RDJOcGhoakhZbUZRYU55WVZnRTFwUythOFpEZUhidkFyRDlPc24yK1VDZUtRRUlaYmpVOUJRQkRzNlNLRlRSRFFJdXBZRHo4RTlRbXlPenIzSmpjemVZa2EweGlqdzg%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(a995f2b7018e38228351fcdcf368bccb).jpg)
“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZTA1eVExNUViaCtqdHRtS2JuQ0RhZVpodCtMNUZUTVBXcTFQN3huSklsRmx6QlRUT3dTNlBadEtNMVY1RXkrM3creHZ6S3F3YlpUemEyQUNyUlh1Y2liY2R4Z3UyZk13TkFjdWd4aDB4c1A4YXVpeTVPcUdVQUdhUENrVk1YdmxZPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(53e5ede935a2efa8b62d2da63df76d61).jpg)
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYzg0aG1lK1hiVjhDYmtVZ0VVRFk5WXpYSjl0TG1xbzByRU0rVnczckZsZy80WFYvMjVkNU1uK0gvTFJSU1dka3FMTEIvck5aWUV6MEllN2J1UVdIQVBKODdhZ0tYdkRka2ZvMUVNQTJ1RzFWalRqaGdmeCtLK0xoL0NGV0ZmVWdmU2gyeU1QajViUXVvVEJVRHc1ZTI0PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+NA+QUOTES/(e2344cff2226f31bb6869b6ad3018d30).jpg)
“I could tell you a joke about a pencil, but it’s pointless.” – Unknown