![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TVHpidWlReksvbkJ6SHVRNnRSKzRNcU9UcnpSczlXYm5pdGJYL3B5REY3dVYyWXNxZXp4T0hvbmpmTjlpeW5jOHVTSUxadFZZTEpXbHordTZyMjBLcFNVNkF6NkwwOEJ6SnlzOUtxd2dOSzdnPT0%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(f22527494e1e6acb361a1f621a218d0b).jpg)
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFlaZ1ZuM1VERFZCMWJuWWVLWDkvTFNRM1FERGE4TTlhS3p2bHF1UHVJSGlRUXhlN21JWmdvK2tvc01HKzRMcDBwclZaVmpybmxDdVcyT1dUd0tsZm1YWHhMbTBWZEpMNmlMOU1tdWFuek5jamZmajFXQTFCbTBMcHVZa3Vpc1VVPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(fc2e3060299f5445310279ab4142dea4).jpg)
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZDlMSDJLNk0wTkVYOWNUckF3VnduWUlSOWV5VjNndit6N1ZHMUpBRVoremUyNFM3bjU4bkI4Z1VHVEMxL3daMzlPMFp5VEQwNE50N1Jsak5KaFc5SkpZM2tQdWZXUEtHUUtzY3lxV2h2TkMybGxHZ2JSYXAxdXZDV25xVVFXbVNnPT0%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(037fec5325e7c7d2712a2f5ae2df1994).jpg)
“If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.” – Laurence J. Peter
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteEtNb1E1bjlPNjBhZkw4MlNBYzV6Kzd2Vmt4c2ltc1IzVzNtdlA4R3NhTEZHOG5wd2pWbHZaTGd3ZFJoc3Q4ZHp4Rm1VTERkcGVCMGdyaUhSeUJTbnQvOUZpYWlDaitnSkYrYmdJRWNDTzFBPT0%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(22547c4d100155cd0b89e6f327b48422).jpg)
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVlVBR0tSbFJjVjBvQ0JqVllXd2dmeTR0d0tFYkc0TnllVHpwRk9wQTdwQU9Va3FVMDVpc3NTNEhoUjFZRUloOFZEZW52WFVYelVLUGtzNytMU1dnZ2thTXFYa3lzMUp4YkYrOFVPWXptODNJQzAxUlBTYU94M1BWcGZLUlBPN2JrRVMyWjFkclBjVmM4UTZBVnhYckV3Zm1YRnNqOEN3cDRMUHAzU2t1ZWJxU0UrWGtmYWRiYS9OR1hqM2hLL0p0bDlHM0E4Mk9yRzVSOW10eE04RUtQcnVoOU1TOGtJYUJIR25ZekpvZjNmcg%3D%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(2e0a4f270fcc98aff15c436861448fcc).jpg)
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYWRMU21URVNtZFJ5OURSY3BVb1pQV1BoMkhEa09nV1Zxb1RMMUhEb21rVVRDWWlremNRWm5MYVJIQ3lVV3pIb0xzUXBnK1dpQm1lRldDblQrQ0c3cVJxL2NNQ09KeTAyYTlTQWc4L0VnNkVEZjR4SDc4c2RJbkw3bTlxb0hURXo0cVJTc1JaZjlEV2xjNFdmT001ZFQvOFFUdCs3U3RLL3VLcktDdE44bTlQZ3M3cFlqS1p5Zk42Qmg5b1VEYjIrMzdFRVc2U3d5MGZ5SG1QOWJqUGRkZW9HUFZxSUpRdnFwUlMzNVFtRWg0TEFkaXNBNWx3TlMwTkVKSGlud2lReHIwekttQVdUTTZxdHJwV21NeEhKeE5VMnN0WUdrZ2NLU1lvL2poODYzcGxQUGZpN2FzYjZHVFhYdDVXckxSMkFRPT0%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(b0275cbba5403a2a49976ff54ddea1af).jpg)
“Everybody talks about wanting to change things and help and fix, but ultimately all you can do is fix yourself. And that’s a lot. Because if you can fix yourself, it has a ripple effect.” – Rob Reiner
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWhJSzVOOVA2dnJ5SE5HT0xiYXVNZVZ1TWh0RnU0Zk5VcVdQMTI0b2dsb0x1dU1pZUtjdEhoaDRvcVhUMWtBbEdYandoRXVRbnFVNDhlMkgvSG8rQ0taaDc3TTQxZ2IzZTcwSHpySnFTMGpWMEtQNWlWUlVZVXVMbHM3V1lvcnpLd2pyL0tpNzZ6NWdONmFRVHRSUnRNPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(288a56b9d1d9e1cff8ac9e7239d3aff8).jpg)
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUp6SWlDQ21oZWlVekt4K3hJMTM3cjBjdVJyNHBjeXVlc1JlN1hWaTgzWmpBdWtDcHE0NUxtTzRNUnhmSmdOK3B4alExRmF1ZUF4RFBkOHJGQ1V5cjZ3UVlVb2VOcmFWVDJxRlhDSjhDR3I2LzFyaitqVmh1S2Z2aWhyT1h2azhRPT0%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(01f435d686cd2c4f8a96891a6320f1b0).jpg)
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYlgwMHBRbTdTeElSRlRZWGhyNHpxTXNzYzVwR2ZYbVMrUm9XdVF1alhaSEw5MEVjelhMa0Zzb3JPM05TYWVSS3Z4bTZHeU9GNHlJUWpjRjgzdGNKN1Znek9iMnlXSkdiV1B0SldzbGYrbE4%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(0d2a53284bc21c2e519c871731e8d53d).jpg)
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUTJSampyTmxSakNDVU8vY1YwczJIdGJJT0xXMVRzcGpPY1hQd3RISGkrbWEzcHUybDgweHpyUXg1dWRteWFvUzdnTW41dTFRdHA2WkR5RFYvdHJCaE9YU3lHS0kxVDFaVnh6eDg0RnJsL21QRGZ0akttSzNOK0dxWmFVREpNclg4SEtIVi9GTVZlRjhzNkwraW04WHQ5cFdkSWlRT1AwODViQm1NRXU2WU9n/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(2f3fe39dfaf975924c07c39899b41307).jpg)
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2c3UyN2hIZGowOXVTWFBGWk5MRzhWZnZsWXRIdmhyUDhJZmVCSlpabEU5czlTZ3UrQkFYOVV4dXNCY3IzdzlZMldTWEIweGg3OFgxKzU0TkZTb0ZZb0UxMlRrWE5OU09xTVpXN1NjZ2VtRFVJMmh3Y0RuVmxhcEZmcWRaLzMxbFlsQ0UxWEw0Nzh6L1FpaWtaYi9kc3Nu/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(4a754de58a54f05a64d9d9fd9478e3ba).jpg)
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvUER6QnFFaUJIdEwvMSswdXRYUVhpNFpMM2pPeEJ4OWwyY0dnaG5zQWkwMkFDZWhLZ2lkUW1YMG1sWUtyZGRkVXlzZWxFNjM1Tzdka1Jycko3SG5CUGVVU1pKblNBKzA5VzhoZ0hZbFRXbndkazJsQVJCbktjNjE3RHZyM0pmRXp3ajRMRWZOOXV4ci9mNlExSFAzZ0xl/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(1eb9ddfa941cf4af2f273fd329f2b277).jpg)
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXN0cHFIUk1KWCtGVk5oa2VxNG9vcHhTRUxKdkFqN1A3L2hoWFk2WDNYd0ZhdmhMaUJXN21KbmRPT2IwUlp6L2hhOEhtb1J1Ym1QNGU3ZnpxeXRidkVOWEVEU2dYRnJ2VnRITkNTZXlQWkw3cGhMcHI4Wkd0QUdZNGpCUHg1VEJFaUFHeXp5MmxheE5EOWVYNkNna0lRPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(0aaeea48decf2dddd6079621fafcc2a4).jpg)
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZlA5UFp3aWc3QWVFZHdrQUxqY2hzNjhxV25sWkx6VTF0RUx5eEIyV0xrdC9xNk94MDllbzVIYk1uWmFoaDVqVnVwbmRZRTRMTjZWeU5XM0hVN1d1QzdvWTJXK1hTbkRDclVOTkg0Y3R2QVhLd2xoakt0NmtHQUZia3RTR0pjUEpueTNIS3hjMXl6ZDVoZksxQmtPelBMZnZlTFY5VGlwdEpmUTN3Nmg4dXpwVjI4NytVeFIzL3drZ0NQaDJWTU9LcUM4N2o1TGI2ZzVTVDdwTHRVNGZtczJ3QzQ1SWE4UE54SkcyZHhuZGl1YlE9PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(44beb0411a2df22c0b29951cb1b2b704).jpg)
“I’m not saying I’m Batman. I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in a room together.” – Unknown GOOD HEALTH IS UNDERRATED QUOTE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYVJXaGxkdER6KzhMQjhGYW91REhvYVJkUjZsUUpnRTlQTmllL0NBeGNjMnArSlhYMkxZenl5bHI3TmwvSlNHczlTNk51K0kxS2lDckwrVnpwV0IwTk0rUWV0ZnViSGpNem93K0R0U2JFNE9nUjdjYnArcnRpeWpVcUJlbW5lYzk1ZlBwbGZEb291bUpCOXFZUHpvNWdJPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(77874d1a6732d9944f7663cd9dcdfae8).jpg)
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – Winnie the Pooh
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWHVkVWgvUmV5TzBINFJPZHB3QlBUdXUrKzVKTXBKZHBDNHJqSWV3OWhqdGM5U285eUZnc25BclptYXFsb3M3eEl3bjIySnZXdlJlSWdQQ0Vtelp3T2R1QWloVzFCVlBMVmJGZnFmT3JQaExFS3FTVElzcjNTLzNoOHRua3A1bXRCRW44SldNK08rWW1CQ0FyenRiVXNrPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(f927e88f0325b9ac4b3ea91a4886bd91).jpg)
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY3k1MzFzaTlpRS9MZm9wcmhnT2FsWTlESGZaZ2ZkbjBaak94UDVXVUNjRVRFV2ZEQ21ua3VDYjd1Q09EUmZ4WVhYUkVoeXpDOHl6UFQyTTBDMC81dXphdmZrTXJrK09pTVhlc0ZZaU9NbjB4NkxtRVdCb2xDbllmN1gyelVvbFZBRE5OREp3eHhheU5wdEVDNHZVYTdNPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(7f309e5432faa32318de42bc4c8809fe).jpg)
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.” – Emo Philips
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEl4U1ZwT3lsT1RmZmoyMzFtcGNZWHFkYXlxZGF3cjByd3BGS09ib0FOY0lVMFRDTk5YbEdzMm1LZWRxamlkWlJabHRseDBkZWM0YlQ2eDhFM3FzZE12djdtK2ZLZkVZOXpUS0VSbXlSSlRFczVUbkRHS0FYSEwrVGlJS1o5N3JhZzBuRnJyZVl0Q01vaVA4OVQyL1YvVHJKOTkvMWRxMXgybnlUaUZSMlRr/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(c20070bd1d121216f1a38029c8b43f88).jpg)
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYXdqY0s4N2RnVUdQZ0l5NWxHTkpVcVlaeXRpZXRENC91b0NZVG0xUGFJNkJqYjhGM1lMVmRrNHJDWDZIam9uVEV0VUlWOVRQbzQ2dkVDNDFzNkRzMm9CUEdqMlRhZGRsNUUyN0RncW1zU0V1dXJmTXNFQ0FSRi9FR052eU1VbS9IemYvM3lWZFlCQVF0ZDU2VU56UTY2RzNtaGZySzRxN3kyWVNvZzVYQlhoUTRZbHZGMlJRRy9DemN1SDVzSHJVRmxsNW1qN1prTGJmZ2MvREFldmJVTnZoK3BHNGVITVhOU21TbVZGWmVSSQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(a7a60d4457c61b98f301dc2a8f71e4c9).jpg)
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWi9Fd2IxZTNrT3dkWVNwVGhrSGh1YjZyU1hoVzVob3JPMUJiYk9IeUxyQk5NdmpnemhrUVVpeW54S0Z0eUovZWlKYkpQbXZNYk40Qm54dnp6aUdaZ09sSUhmbzFIdTNzdlh5b3FsK0dXamU%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(00bd06f0e9f22ff69c9b27780456b3bd).jpg)
“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFFUMUtIRUpQUE16aDhxaGxGazk2VkFKNTFxMlVpeHRWU0tZQ1g5T3pxb2c4d2pzQXNnbHoxeVp1VHdzM0xWd0xKM1ZDbE9NK2tyUnZiQjg4U0NqdVN3VkVMVkxLYXFUaGhXL0loQlVkcUtBPT0%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(62564ecc891a3a2016f1cfeddaf9a2df).jpg)
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWDRkelpFVURTV2FXRk1UMk9vbzlmMkdxdmxDTDdxamVRTE5abVY3czdHRE53by9qdXJrd1IzekE3YzVWMXV0cFdwcy9uQW9IcUdwamtibkZKNExpdU9kd0xaUlRFaG55K3UvK3hGVUMzUkdVck5TZkdSN1FlTFoycTNiYk9oMHR3PT0%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(0d015d69bd041cf8f67b8122f9e69a21).jpg)
“The key to success is not taking yourself too seriously.” – Ben Stiller
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUtuVlM3WDFuWlRoZEdaR1lGSU1NdVpzcFc2NzVsZnNMVjExV0dNWUhQK21TeFdqVHhTclcwdnhpWktWd3pLallSYlZlN0daRy9oQ3o0M0NaV0ErVllXMXNRM3lyakhvUkJVWndKU1IwZUtIS2FDYXg3SmptOWpBVFo5eU9zZ1JPNS9RYkVsM2pIa3hTenR6bWE5d0MzQ3k0Mk04WlhoQVVGVy8reWRsd1c4S2U4WkdndmlyTG9Oa3dtNkVVajZQWUhBbGRMSXRYaGltZGVXSlcrczMrTnN0cmNsZDdnanhpVmJuVVNRMWRUSitCTXZoK0ZQaUprdlpkelZMeXZ0STJ1Y3pKcmlkUEpORXBhb09BdUVLMlk0WDNaWTkrYzgxdGYvSzZTU05JcEk%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(d3ae78621ec225daa7efd198078ea528).jpg)
“My therapist told me the way to achieve peace was to finish things I had started. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXRUeE42MjlrQkluUElPOFlUcWc5Rk5ka2J1SVJLVC9WYmp4c3dCZ2J5aEtWRjczeVgrYjJGZmJ4U3VIQVdDWE1SUmlITHNuMUNrQmVFN3lQdFRtUFl3TUxIMG9Nb0FGWFRydURRSU5SWU9OKzNZMWNBblEwZWR1cW8xZkNDT3cvYnR4REo2ay9ib3Nsc2c0S2ZWWUhBenBjMXhGeWRLdXB5ZGh1OUk2QVo4UTUrQmRWYW85Vm9lUDgxZHp1S0trajdON1ZyOTJqU3NUZG1FUzAyRE9PST0%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(ca8a64d40b5d4f8404184022125fc493).jpg)
“Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.” – Bob Thaves
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZi91UWNkMHFWTWkvYzEyRnJwaXRPMDFWNzFXNTNmaEJLQkhEbEloOFg0NEpjKzRlc3ZQTXlFb1NDbS9nbDdVVnl6bkhJdGNmMFdmanBjemZjZllacExPZnFpN0tkRGxSTVlwYzVzUnh0cDZnPT0%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(5cac82b73e9cea1d5cf236e50255d579).jpg)
“I’m sorry for the things I said when I was hungry.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZkc5OE9KR1ZubGYrOStVOWZ2aGZFODVSeGVnR0pldzBZVDNkWktvWVJXMStaQXl4ZHJJUUw3cmpvNGhZa2dDRE5naUVhb0xoT0VOKzNzeUFwRW4zdVJlQnNyMlQ0dUdqemRhQUpubDZOTnhva1VPUWRlaGtyc1djK1p2Tmg4OWVz/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(0954a7eaa5365591629283ce1ed1adec).jpg)
“I don’t need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjhINThUbmxNTk9ucDFQeUxsZm9uaHlyWXJ6NFhNRVdKaVVhOWhybVZQM2p1ZWd5T3UzL0RNbjUrVFE3WFlXTVdibVgvUmJmNkpDdzVpMDR4WmFUa01WWjJob3gxaU5hNWFtU3hJUXJ3cHB6S1FmZHNnMXZGL2hnOWZBNzF6MXp3PT0%3D/FUNNY+ODD+ONE+OUT+QUOTES/(0651f269312ecb000ed5ba67a5a91e95).jpg)
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill