FUNNY ODD ONE OUT QUOTES

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

“If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.” – Laurence J. Peter

“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

“Everybody talks about wanting to change things and help and fix, but ultimately all you can do is fix yourself. And that’s a lot. Because if you can fix yourself, it has a ripple effect.” – Rob Reiner

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

“I’m not saying I’m Batman. I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in a room together.” – Unknown GOOD HEALTH IS UNDERRATED QUOTE

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – Winnie the Pooh

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.” – Emo Philips

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott

“The key to success is not taking yourself too seriously.” – Ben Stiller

“My therapist told me the way to achieve peace was to finish things I had started. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry

“Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.” – Bob Thaves

“I’m sorry for the things I said when I was hungry.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill