FUNNY PEOPLE QUOTES

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

“I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'” – Phyllis Diller

“I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.” – Unknown

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry

“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES FOR SON FROM FATHER

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” – W.C. Fields

“I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just… accident-prone.” – Daniel Radcliffe

“The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.” – Albert Einstein

“I don’t go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.” – Unknown

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams

“Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.” – Bill Gates

“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.” – Unknown

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott

“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.” – Nitya Prakash