FUNNY POSITIVE QUOTES

“The only time I set the bar low is for limbo.” – Michael Scott

“I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.” – Grumpy Cat

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Unknown

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. And drink coffee.” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown

“If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?” – Unknown

“I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.” – Unknown

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” – Don Marquis

“Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room together?” – Unknown WORRY ABOUT THE THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL QUOTE

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite

“I’m not a snacker, I’m just preparing my body for hibernation.” – Unknown

“I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.” – Unknown

“I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed!” – Unknown

“I’m allergic to mornings.” – Unknown

“Do I run? Yes…out of time, patience, and money.” – Unknown

“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown

“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” – Unknown