FUNNY PRETTY QUOTES

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.”

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravitationally challenged.”

“If people say money can’t buy happiness, I guess they’ve never tried buying pizza.”

“I’m not awkward, I’m just at the forefront of the ‘unintentionally cool’ movement.”

“I’m not procrastinating, I’m multitasking by doing nothing.”

“I’ve realized that I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“My superpower? I can eat just one potato chip. Said no one ever.”

“I’m not sure about the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone.”

“Netflix asks if I’m still watching, as if I could be doing anything more important in my life.”

“I’m not old, I’m just classic.”

“My life is one big, beautiful mess and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“If I’m being honest, I’m probably only 5% adult on a good day.”

“I don’t always forget things, but when I do, it’s usually something important.” DOPE SAVAGE QUOTE ABOUT LIFE

“I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesomeness.”

“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I call it lunch.”

“My bed and I have a beautiful relationship. We’re always there for each other, especially in the morning.”

“I’m not funny, I’m just extremely skilled at looking silly.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, I have a collection of hats to cover up any bad hair day.”

“I don’t mind going to work, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my napping schedule.”

“I don’t have a beer belly, I have a protective covering for my rock-hard abs.”

“My life motto? Eat cake, because you never know when it’ll vanish from the fridge.”

“I consider myself a unicorn because I’m rare, fabulous, and sometimes mistaken for a horse.”

“The best things in life are free, except for coffee. Coffee is life.”

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.”

“I don’t need a personal assistant, I need a professional napper to keep me well-rested.”

“Some people call me crazy, I prefer the term ‘happy with a twist.'”

“I don’t need a prince charming, I’m my own queen with a sense of humor.”