FUNNY PRIORITY QUOTES

“Never trust someone who doesn’t prioritize dessert.” – Unknown

“My priorities: Eat Sleep Make others laugh Repeat.” – Unknown

“I’m not saying I have my priorities straight, but I do know the value of a good pizza.” – Unknown

“My priority in life is to never run out of coffee… and to never run out of coffee.” – Unknown

“I may not have my life together, but at least I have my number one priority covered: finding the TV remote.” – Unknown

“I don’t always make my bed, but when I do, it’s because I need to find my phone charger.” – Unknown

“My priorities are simple: laughter, sleep, and a never-ending supply of snacks.” – Unknown

“I exercise because it’s good for my health… and because I need to build up my pizza-eating endurance.” – Unknown

“I may not be Martha Stewart, but I can rock a pizza delivery like nobody’s business.” – Unknown

“My priority in life is making sure my Netflix subscription never expires.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a personal assistant – I need a pizza delivery guy who texts back.” – Unknown

“If I had a dollar for every time I procrastinated, I’d probably hire someone to do my procrastinating for me.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do absolutely nothing.” – Unknown

“I never go to bed angry, because I have a strict policy of eating ice cream before bedtime.” – Unknown

“I don’t have a problem with caffeine addiction, I just have a problem without it.” – Unknown

“My priorities in life have shifted from ‘I want to rock that presentation’ to ‘I want to binge-watch all night without judgment.'” – Unknown ONE HEART ONE SOUL QUOTES

“I’m not sure if I need a vacation or a new job, but I definitely need someone to make me tacos.” – Unknown

“I’m not saying I’m a superhero, but I’ve mastered the art of eating snacks in my sleep.” – Unknown

“I don’t always run out of toilet paper, but when I do, it’s when a really good show is on.” – Unknown

“If life gives you lemons, make lemon bars… but only if you have time after scrolling through social media.” – Unknown

“I’m so good at multitasking, I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.” – Unknown

“After years of trying to figure out the meaning of life, I’ve come to realize it’s probably just pizza.” – Unknown

“Someone told me I need to have my priorities straight, but I can’t find the aisle for that at the grocery store.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“My weekend plans: eat, sleep, repeat… with intermittent naps.” – Unknown

“I don’t do mornings. Or afternoons. Or evenings. I’m more of a perpetual brunch person.” – Unknown

“I don’t always have my life together, but I can assemble a charcuterie board like nobody’s business.” – Unknown

“If being sarcastic burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.” – Unknown

“I don’t strive for perfection, I strive for a personal best in snack consumption.” – Unknown

“I may not have my priorities straight, but at least I know how to have a good laugh.” – Unknown