![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYzhJMXpwRjEyWmw3K0NWWWxlZGYrenpiRnR0RW5iSnN6NE9yRXRQZG4rWGRQMzNUaVhkK2oyM01DUGNHNHdZWVNmcG8zc3d4K2Y5UlpzSUkvY0VldStoUzJMb1QrREF2UVhvUXBtaXVMVTQ%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(3dca1e69659292111618e849f2805113).jpg)
“Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1VEK0lMT2k0RGQ1Y2pKRVhCblpOam5ZampqY0gzbnE5aXVDWXlZb281ckhEVW9rT1Fka1c3UnY1SmpLcFhUd3V2eXlOaFBqdm1PcHYrMUt0amhaR1R6dzVwOGJFYXB0UUY1SUdyYW1TVFBBdzMyWWJ3RC9vODAvRHRMaFRqZ3RBPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(29df94736886ab81a614cb3d4bbd1330).jpg)
“If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his iPod?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUVhPSC9wWm1pdFo4Z2pML2lCOUNoT2JwNXVYRTl3ZkxlNkhXc1o4YzhTaGRRQ1lxRFg4bE5Ebkg5c25YcGdBQzBKMUV6aHZUb0JWMFJpNit5OCtJMHJUUWx2RWVlS3c5MDVTRXIvRGRoZmI%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(15f79a10d876f6dda86726d5c5446bef).jpg)
“If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkYreEFlNXErbDh2WGxiVVo4c1hwQjhEYmJ1REwxV1Vvd0ljZDU5akx3dHIybnZGa2hjeStOSk81UDd5WVFvQUQ4SFVtNWFVMWs1OXdDaXNtU1dwSG89/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(41d28c6d6e5cc6ef39c0bdd960b83d48).jpg)
“Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZGNmeVBEMEY3a09oTGF3UFdVaWF3MWNvb0RWMWdUdkZJNk9sckxiK1J3RUlSSEE5eTRHM3lyTm96L0QzM1pOc0dPTUpZU1dPSnllSVc1bHA2djhUKzNxK2IrVklRYmdDN25TTkd1bXg5Mno%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(d65db086c7a80c652e7c9127ae8779fa).jpg)
“What happens if you get scared half to death twice?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVUp0SjJRSUJ6b3R6YjA0bFYya0dZekgvb29JZCt0ODl6TXUzWjI3TmVEL2RwaENTRmVYUWtmNFRpZDVhSUZGaWVHYzhjTklydjl0WE9HOU1CczRCcnBrQWlKNFFyRTVUNEVzNHVJcFE3N3E%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(be53922f09de2abea6743644b85e5ffb).jpg)
“If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjd4OWpqWDdMUGZKZFFZSVU5KzJjbGZPeEJOV0cwd2lIbVVJNy9BTzJydGNKY21aeGFpTlJiR1h0LzZsbW1IVTlkM0ZNTDQyd2JTV2V2SWwrZDdLUHljeGI1bkEzYW1MQjBFcisrOUxJcnU%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(83c9dbce75847ba275189db70ee1c9c6).jpg)
“Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1dvSWZyTkN0dzN6cXIyR3hObFFrUGJTN3VNajFxeVQvNG5PRGcrVXBUNEVCQ3B0NnFBMnJiRVFYRTE2eXF6TCtZbVFMNzBIZ0txRElFdWY2K2ZZWm82MlJiNTdmWkJObmJOWG10enBoT1RvTzVFUHJjbFFCdXBzRmNnMDdURG8xTk5yY0FUbmpNS1pXRURVMjZzYjJzPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(a8e8a7a16d577d98b9caa1a40579526a).jpg)
“If a man says something in the woods and there are no women around, is he still wrong?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZGp6T09aRFByOTQ1K3hGWW5pemlUa1o4ck5wOHpWK2w0S2pnSXk0V01uSWVhUmdvKzRyd3ZvUVk0QWxIMlIzVEdmMndVR3Y1NW5xb2RtWUJydlRVSEdzY3hhamdzdXIyTytQNEVBZ3o5bk9hdCtPUHFObGwzRFJWSEFLTkthMC9RPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(42ee171353e35feeb3ffef0644eb9668).jpg)
“Why do they call it ‘a pair of pants’ when it’s only one item?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWUwSVFHT0pZN2FJN3E5Vkw5YTJya2VUNEU5OVpTdXRhQ3I2emNrclRXVFh5ajE5ckN1cDhIYXc3NUdScElBVlJLUnFsQmFhU2RGT0txTFoyaS9NRU9FUGhsRS9TWUVNR2NSWFV1MjAxK1c%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(b90b359129f1c42f1cbd106147da2c06).jpg)
“If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it naked or homeless?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWjFHYTFqMUtReHR6ekU4OWZ6MzYzK1NZWEt0VzU1a21VbUNxQ1JGRk9xY1AvdmNWbTYzNlZlYU5FUldKdCs1U1FoeDVzVnpyOVhHVUtyNXlxbXZCd0VqWG9ndE1Sd0dJb1pjaEFmb0hXdGVPRThrcVJyQlZySWMwb3RvNjZ4MTdBPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(f45a354fa2a4e637d4a4960008e3bb9c).jpg)
“Why is it called a ‘building’ when it’s already built?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWWZPU0lZdW1DWVVkQUhQVEFPSVdoVHVkNnlaVXp2VFBublM0bmx3dTl1T0c4Ly9jOGI0WTBNalR5aTNzK0JNdUJZZmpIYzRGa3NMd0l2eDN6YmdjQlVPdVFEZWZMaHdaWHdhMmJPZG14NWRsTUR4NUJYWGNaZEhyMHJLakZhSk9BPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(65c909e9d9c629dbfdb224629e5d2e53).jpg)
“If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjd4OWpqWDdMUGZKZFFZSVU5KzJja1dHLzlTQkp3UlZMYkxMVzQzYS9rVXhVVHpEMEdjREhtUmJWaGhpYnZLaEZIV20wTVZkWEJUaUxUbitwMXRnODRRUjltSzdiSnVoRVY4M2xkM1ExeGxsdjFZb1R0NjFyVkVieVk5dGFCUGFENmxqajZrNXZkemQ5ajVvNTRSLy9RN2tDdUo2Vy9RWmRBa0JNZVlKRzVEYWljT2ZGSWU0RXNKM1FqTzYvTXRGZEVrTUVuY0VIZjBXdzRQbllCekcvbz0%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(10b77ff03e07ec09d380022d06bdeb79).jpg)
“Why do we say we’re ‘head over heels’ when we’re really ‘heels over head’?” DESPERATE FOR FRIENDS QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRNVHRyRTZOWGd6VnpyUkxyZllZTmJqbzZqVEM3V2VDS1M3eitCTGMrZkZZMDg1QnlCZmM5cHZwVEVRT0h1NXc9PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(3a290903ea6056541c91d4c86d2ac434).jpg)
“Can you cry underwater?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjd4OWpqWDdMUGZKZFFZSVU5KzJjbFk3eHlyeEc4eEJQTXJHTi8xc1dJcXdQdWwzUFpTQ25OdW5RcWh6WDZYbGtKeXN3aDkxSGxmNTAzRjhoN0k5SWdlRmZYUm9xbW8zMFJyTGxDbWFLWTRISncwYldjNmZPREFYbVZtUUJOZDdhUkhCQlM4eEZBNkpWQWcrNXI5dzc0PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(6eba0572b04a5e2653102f7ea19b0e2b).jpg)
“Why do we call it ‘taking a dump’ when we’re actually leaving one?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVHEySVBNbmpqdXFNcXUxZk5BN0UwT28yMzZxbWNDb0hFaHkyWGNKNzZka21SRnBSQzk3Rzhpei9MVTk1ZUk0clpST3ZDY2daN0cvRDROM1ZraDgzRmtVS2JEdDJYV3pMaFBmNjgwam5uZVQ%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(996936b0fc41f1dbe3360e66c5bb8e40).jpg)
“If a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZGp6T09aRFByOTQ1K3hGWW5pemlUbkY0amNEbzdXb3p0eXhYUjlzbEsza09EbEJzN1UraXVpcXFqV1B3cFp5TXFqMkM1aG0yaVR4OEViK3ZqaWNoU0JBWWk1L3NhODh5TDdrVXI3SGg5bTI%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(5207d2e0a226d0248a335289f6e14a8f).jpg)
“Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvUHFmTUVXUFp1Wnl0dlVCeEZHMWhMd0NXVlp1OWRtb0hLU2ZYTzV4eStEcWJKaXlGZVYvVnNZWHJXcDgzWmdKZnQ2M3J6Y3h2QjV1TVVLOWs0c2pwK2w%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(17868d5ea2f50cc410266b8a4b9c927a).jpg)
“If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjd4OWpqWDdMUGZKZFFZSVU5KzJjbjJRU0N1Tk5COXZZcEJGVXUrS1N1WUs3VTNQcGdNdW5ZdDJzZmxObzlZdzl3UW0xOG5SRUVQUlFFQ2RXUDVUNHA2cEh6aEpnRDdKcXU2eHpQdG1RUWs%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(06a2bf778bac1577ed0daa260a46f500).jpg)
“Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZEpIMUljR29OVGJOM3lSVHNxV3UzZHNNQ053Uk9sVk9TNmM5SlhtbWYwV1drcnppN1Y5ZVo1R1FJY0Fiait3UW16ZTBOL05IZFhOYUxhNmptQkZhaHMwREl0Z3E5eVAybGNtN2phZnEvVjdTOUtMdE1rS0pmelFERDk2L2NYdnhRPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(530395824349eb3a3e2599ab26f06e0f).jpg)
“If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZGp6T09aRFByOTQ1K3hGWW5pemlUazdrcHZMcFdKamJvenZzQUN3TU94aldGQ2paYktmR2luUW5jRGtQdFRoeSswR2lpQXdNYlhlWi8wSXd1TDVIQlhKT1dXbnk3ZlVJbFFmelZzRTViWEw%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(d9492922ebaabb9bb85c0e07759a8951).jpg)
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWjFHYTFqMUtReHR6ekU4OWZ6MzYzL0NNQ25KRFJTaVRmZUQvcHQwNzhMblQrVnlhU3hWSlJDeC90OFRoZkcveC9sNEg4c0wwZVdseVdPVVQ5T3owZTd6V2hLb1h3SHJuVXU1czJnenpoMzFwcE1Bc0xLZ2laRGxJblpmQ1FVSHRjYmlRVngrcmU4ZFpSZVJjSGFPMnRIb3B4TWc5QXFOS3N1VWU0YTJjLzJKM0oyc3RVRHp3SWdVbXdZWnRLNGhjdz09/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(c0850b976da8d52284fe5b039e97c81e).jpg)
“Why is it that when you’re driving and you’re looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1ZyeGRtUXVXZ05CSVNOeWRRMmg3ZnZBWDRaR2dSbjA3L2RoTVBMWnBlOUFjMFBibFRSTFJmQVlEcDFNeUM0dU5GaGRSK0ZGUytOQ2ZXWUpDVnI5SEc0YUxtLzgzUzVMZXNXcjlObHNrN2xJVVhBcXhhYlY5c1RJUC9hQTBnbGdJWnQ0SlVhVGVNT1ZhK1k3M2doTjZwVmh4VkV1RUw2OXVObjJTM2NXU0pi/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(1052e71a2366a55c4ba314974d7c8abe).jpg)
“If ‘pro’ is the opposite of ‘con’, then what is the opposite of ‘progress’?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjd4OWpqWDdMUGZKZFFZSVU5KzJjbGlJOUwwL0UxRVdRUi9TTDJuaE50VGhYL0txVHR3TzBDdVZZQkJ4dlBBQldidVpqcmJvcVBnVXlKNDN4UUYxQndCV0orYTRyY1p5K2ZSZzlicXZSUXdBWSszL1FxSE5ZWHFYQ3BleFQwSnFXZVFhSjNXaWw0TWozQmltVVNYVWI4PQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(e802a7e2fe7faae50e560deb2c11526d).jpg)
“Why do we say ‘hot as hell’ when hell is actually considered the coldest place?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1BqbzlmT08rc0sxN1JIQjl0VkdTenFieTBRckdBRXFWblpsTEs3NlRaZEtVRWVkVGd0Wm9xMXE3c1UzbitlU3BLTjFVMzhtc3RBdHRJK2ZMZGxyUG5HZ3FISjkwWi9mV3ptQWZLd0lhOEU0b0lydm9mbE1xRkJuRmEwQWhlZ0xjS0ZzZk5GZERLV013dlhhYzFnNEFjPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUESTION+QUOTES/(6e5e22fb1c7aaf58f0fb6f22e720e081).jpg)
“If a gingerbread man screams in the oven and no one is there to hear him, does he make a sound?”