“I’m not a doctor, but I play one in real life.”

“Being a doctor is all about the long hours, sleepless nights, and still getting blamed for the patient’s socks going missing.”

“I wanted to be a doctor, but turns out I’m just not a people person. Have you seen those white coats? They clash with my personality.”

“Being a doctor is like being in a relationship. You constantly have to deal with people’s problems and offer them solutions.”

“You know you’re a doctor when you can diagnose someone with a common cold and immediately start thinking about student loans and mortgages.”

“Being a doctor is the only job where you can get paid to make people wait, and they’re still grateful!”

“Why did the doctor become a chef? Because they wanted to practice medicine and make some dough!”

“There’s nothing like the feeling of telling someone an unnecessarily complicated medical term and watching them nod in complete confusion.”

“Being a doctor is like being a detective, except your crime scenes are patients’ bodies and your clues are strange symptoms.”

“Doctors have the best handwriting because we’ve mastered the art of penmanship during medical school… or so we like to think.”

“Why did the doctor never trust atoms? Because they made up everything!”

“Being a doctor means spending years studying books, only to end up spending most of your days deciphering illegible patient forms.”

“What do doctors always say to their ailing patients? Breathe easy, these medical bills are here to help you heal!”

“Doctors have the power to save lives and ruin credit scores all in one go.”

“Being a doctor is like being an artist, except the canvas is a patient’s body and the paintbrush is a scalpel.” CHRISTMAS CLEANING QUOTES

“Why did the doctor go broke? Because they kept parts of their patient’s insurance as ‘monopoly money.'”

“Being a doctor is like playing a never-ending game of ‘Guess Who?’ except instead of choosing a person, you’re guessing their ailment.”

“Doctors always say, ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away.’ But what about all those apple-related choking incidents?”

“You know you’re a doctor when your favorite pickup line is, ‘Are you a cardiac arrest? Because you make my heart skip a beat!'”

“Why did the doctor find their job unfulfilling? Because they were always at hand but never on call.”

“Being a doctor means constantly being asked for medical advice at family gatherings. Sorry Aunt Sue, but I’m an optometrist, not a miracle worker!”

“Why did the doctor join Tinder? To find someone who wouldn’t mind their ‘bedside’ manner!”

“Being a doctor is like being a magician, except instead of pulling rabbits out of hats, you pull out endless medical bills.”

“Why did the doctor fail as a comedian? Because they always performed surgical humor, but it never cut it.”

“Being a doctor is like being a superhero, except your superpower is prescribing antibiotics and wearing a white coat.”

“Why did the doctor always carry a calculator? Because they believed in the healing power of ‘math-tercism’!”

“Being a doctor means constantly forgetting about your own health, because who has time to be the patient when you’re treating everyone else?”

“Why did the doctor have a great bedside manner? Because their patient’s sleeping pills finally kicked in!”