“In California, they don’t throw their garbage away – they make it into TV shows.” – Woody Allen

“California: the land of fruits, nuts, and flakes.” – Unknown

“There are three seasons in California: fire, flood, and drought.” – Jay Leno

“In California, they don’t say ‘I love you,’ they say ‘I can’t afford to buy you a house in this market’.” – Unknown

“California is a place where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.” – Walter Winchell

“Living in California adds ten years to your life, mainly due to the traffic.” – Unknown

“In California, even the homeless have better tans than you.” – Unknown

“California isn’t a state, it’s a lifestyle.” – Joan Didion

“California: where the only things bigger than the egos are the traffic jams.” – Unknown

“California is like Disneyland, but for adults – it’s expensive, crowded, and full of people waiting in line for a ride.” – Unknown

“The reason people in California are so laid-back is because the sun is always shining, and they can’t be bothered to do anything else.” – Unknown

“In California, they put avocados on everything – even the bills.” – Unknown

“California: where you need a map to find your way out of a shopping mall.” – Unknown

“California has earthquakes, celebrities, and the highest number of self-proclaimed ‘spiritual gurus’ per square mile.” – Unknown

“Californians measure distance in time, not miles.” – Unknown FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT HAVING NO FRIENDS

“In California, you can be anyone you want – as long as you’re on a reality show.” – Unknown

“California motto: If it’s not vegan, gluten-free, or organic, we don’t want it.” – Unknown

“California: where going green refers to your lawn, not your environmental practices.” – Unknown

“In California, you can surf in the morning and ski in the afternoon – if the traffic permits.” – Unknown

“Living in California is like being in a constant state of traffic.” – Unknown

“California: land of fast cars, slow drivers, and incessant honking.” – Unknown

“California: where everyone believes they have the next billion-dollar startup idea.” – Unknown

“In California, everyone’s a critic, even the avocado toast.” – Unknown

“Being stuck in LA traffic is a great way to practice your mindfulness and patience – or lose your sanity.” – Unknown

“California: where ‘beach body ready’ is a year-round goal and a constant source of anxiety.” – Unknown

“In California, the only thing hotter than the weather is the real estate market.” – Unknown

“California is like a box of chocolates – every snack is kale-flavored.” – Unknown

“In California, yoga pants are considered formal attire.” – Unknown