FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT COMPUTERS

“I asked the computer if it believed in aliens. It said, ‘I’m not sure, I’ve never met one. But I know a few programmers who might be from another planet.'”

“Computers are like air conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows.”

“The best computer advice I ever got was to use a mouse with a mousepad. Now I have a pet mouse running on a tiny treadmill.”

“Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.”

“I own a computer because my brain is divided into folders and subfolders.”

“Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a lot of bugs.”

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.”

“Computers are great; they can help you solve a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.”

“I accidentally dropped my computer on my foot. I got a terabyte.”

“Why did the computer catch a cold? It left its Windows open.”

“Computers are like girlfriends. You have to keep upgrading to get better performance.”

“The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.”

“Why did the computer go to art school? It wanted to become a Mac painter.”

“I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user-friendly.” MISS QUOTES FOR HIM FROM THE HEART

“Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25!”

“What’s the difference between a computer virus and a cat? One screws up your system, and the other is a pet.”

“Software developers have no sense of humor; they just code.”

“I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. But right now, I really knead a new computer.”

“Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.”

“I named my dog ‘Five Miles’ so I can tell people I walked Five Miles every day.”

“If a computer program messes up, it’s someone’s fault. If a pencil messes up, it’s still your fault.”

“The best way to speed up your computer is to throw it out the window.”

“The internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.”

“My computer just beat me at chess, but it was no match for me in kickboxing.”

“I’d like to help you out today. Which way did you come in?”

“What’s the most used language in programming? Profanity.”

“My computer’s got Miley Virus. It has stopped twerking.”