FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT EXES

“My ex had one very annoying habit – breathing.”

“Some relationships are like algebra – you look at your ex and wonder why?!”

“If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower at them. But remember to pick the right flower, like a cactus, because sometimes it hurts to remember the good times with your ex.”

“Going back to your ex is like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube – it’s messy and downright impossible.”

“Dear ex, just because you’re a hot mess doesn’t mean I’m still a firefighter.”

“If you can still think about your ex without cringing, you either have a strong heart or a weak memory.”

“The best revenge on your ex is to smile and move on – nothing annoys them more than seeing you happy without them.”

“Dear ex, I hope all your dreams come true – but not while you’re dating someone else.”

“My ex asked me if I would still be friends with him after we broke up. I replied, ‘Sure, right after I finish knitting a sweater for Satan.'”

“Breaking up is like the trash taking itself out – thank you, next!”

“Why cry over someone who stepped on a Lego when you can laugh at your ex falling flat on their face?” REST IN PEACE FRIEND QUOTES

“Exes are like a box of chocolates – they were sweet once, but now you’ve eaten them all and regret every bite.”

“My ex was so ugly, my therapist said it’s called ‘diagnosing post-traumatic stress disorder.'”

“Dear ex, seeing you with someone uglier than me made my day – congratulations on downgrading!”

“Breaking up with you was like winning the lottery – except the prize was my freedom.”

“I’m embracing the single life because my ex taught me how to be independent… by being completely useless.”

“If stupidity was a crime, my ex would be serving a life sentence.”

“Playing chess with my ex is like going back in time – I always end up with a checkmate.”

“Dear ex, I hope that silence haunts you every time you remember we used to talk every day.”

“My ex’s ego was so big that it needed its own zip code – glad I moved away from that neighborhood!”

“If my ex were a flavor, they’d be a blend of bitter and regret – luckily, I have a new favorite: high self-esteem.”