FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT HUMOUR

by

“I don’t have a funny bone, I have a funny skeleton.” – Jarod Kintz

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Unknown

“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” – Emo Philips

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

“The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.” – Unknown

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams

“A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Unknown I WILL WALK BESIDE YOU QUOTE

“I asked my dog what’s his favorite type of music and he said ‘bark and roll.'” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown

“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.” – Unknown

“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!” – Unknown

“I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you.” – Unknown

“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen us in the same room together?” – Unknown

“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape, isn’t it?” – Unknown

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Unknown

I WILL WALK BESIDE YOU QUOTE