FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT LIFE AND FRIENDS

“Friends are like bras, close to your heart and there for support.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.” – Mallory Hopkins

“A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you fool everyone else.” – Oprah Winfrey

“I don’t need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.” – Unknown

“Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me—I’ll laugh at you.” – Unknown

“I don’t have time to hate people who hate me because I’m too busy loving people who love me.” – Unknown

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” – Bernard Meltzer

“I’m sorry I can’t hang out with you, my plants need me.” – Unknown

“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

“When life gives you lemons, use them to make orange juice and leave everyone wondering how you did it.” – Unknown

“Education is important, but brunch is importanter.” – Unknown

“Some people need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.” – Unknown I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING HUSBAND QUOTES

“Behind every successful person is a friend who is equally surprised.” – Unknown

“I may be a hot mess, but I’m a hot mess with good friends.” – Unknown

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” – Miles Kington

“Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth.” – Unknown

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Unknown

“The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.” – Unknown

“My bed and I have a special relationship. We’re perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just doesn’t seem to understand our love.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“A real friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself, and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them.” – Jim Morrison

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama