“Life is like a camera. Focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, just take another shot.”

“The trouble with life is there’s no background music.”

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, just to be sure.”

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”

“I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.”

“Life is like a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving…preferably on two wheels.”

“If life gives you lemons, add vodka and have a party.”

“My brain has too many tabs open.”

“Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll laugh at you.”

“If there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.”

“Who needs a prince charming when you can have wine?”

“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the table and the chairs are bullies, and the walls are always getting in my way.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” ISLAM QUOTES ABOUT MOTHER

“Life is too short to wear boring socks.”

“Chocolate doesn’t ask questions, chocolate understands.”

“My signature move is called ‘I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m doing it confidently.'”

“Life is like a hot bath. It feels great while you’re in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.”

“I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.”

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

“The older I get, the earlier it gets late.”

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”

“Dear life, when I said ‘can my day get any worse?’ it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.”

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”

“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”

“I’m not shy, I’m just plotting your demise.”

“Life is short. Eat dessert first, work out later.”