“Behind every great kid is a mom who’s pretty sure she’s screwing it all up.”
“I used to have functioning brain cells, and then I became a parent.”
“Parents: the only people who can simultaneously drive you insane and keep you sane.”
“Remember, parents, the louder your kids are, the closer you are to getting an all-expenses-paid vacation to an asylum.”
“Parents: the only beings on earth who can hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away.”
“Having children is like being pecked to death by a duck.”
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
“Being a parent means constantly having sticky fingers but a heart full of love.”
“Parenthood is the joy of chasing your kids around the house, while simultaneously wondering why you ever wanted kids in the first place.”
“Children: the ultimate test in patience and the reason why strong coffee was invented.”
“Parenting: the art of driving yourself crazy while trying to convince your kids they’re sane.” MOTHER DAUGHTER SON QUOTES
“Parenting is a delicate balance of convincing your child they can do anything, while also desperately hoping they never discover your internet search history.”
“Parents don’t have a favorite child, but we do have a favorite hiding spot to consume our secret chocolate stash.”
“Parents: the only people who can negotiate a peace treaty between two kids fighting over the same toy.”
“Becoming a parent is like having a front-row seat to the best comedy show in town, except you can’t leave early and it goes on for 18 years.”
“Parenthood: where going to the bathroom alone becomes a luxury and silence is suspicious.”
“Parents have a secret superpower: the ability to locate a lost toy in under 30 seconds, even though everyone else has been searching for hours.”
“Parenting tip: when in doubt, blame the dog.”
“Parenting has taught me that sleep is overrated and sanity is negotiable.”
“Parenthood: where every day is a new guessing game of ‘What’s that smell?'”