“I can predict the future, but only when it’s about to happen.”

“I tried to predict the future once, but all I got was a headache. Guess it wasn’t in my crystal ball’s job description!”

“You know you’re getting old when you predict the future and realize you’re right…because you’ve seen it all before!”

“Predicting the future is like trying to catch a squirrel in a nut factory – it’s nuts!”

“I predicted the future once, but then I realized I was just looking at my reflection in a crystal ball.”

“Predicting the future is easy: just take out a 10-year-old weather forecast and pretend it’s tomorrow’s news!”

“If I had a dollar for every time I accurately predicted the future, I’d be broke. Who needs that kind of pressure?”

“I used to predict the future, until I realized my magic eight ball was just a snow globe with no water…or magic.”

“Predicting the future is like trying to find your keys in a clown car – it’s full of surprises and chaos!”

“I predict that predicting the future will become obsolete once time travel is invented. Can someone tell me if I’m right?”

“The best way to predict the future is to create it yourself… or at least make wild guesses and hope for the best!”

“Predicting the future: the only job where you can be 100% accurate or completely out of touch, and nobody bats an eye.”

“Predicting the future is like playing poker with a deck of tarot cards – you never know when you’re bluffing or dealing a royal flush!” INSPIRATIONAL FRIENDSHIP QUOTES AND SAYINGS

“I once predicted the future and got so excited, I bought myself a fortune cookie. Sadly, it just had a discount coupon inside.”

“The future is like a box of chocolates – no matter how many times you shake it, you’ll never know what you’re going to get!”

“My crystal ball predicted the future, but I dropped it, and now it can only tell me how many birds will poop on my car this week…”

“I’ve tried predicting the future, but all I see is a blurry vision of a couch and a bowl of popcorn. Must be a Netflix marathon!”

“Predicting the future is a lot like playing darts blindfolded – you may hit the bullseye or just end up on the wrong side of the wall!”

“Who needs a fortune teller when you can just ask the nearest toddler what they think the future holds? Their predictions are just as valid!”

“I used to predict the future, but then I realized I kept confusing my dreams with reality. Turns out I’m just really imaginative!”

“Predicting the future is like trying to read a book without opening it – you’ll never know the plot until you start reading!”

“I once predicted the future, and it was exactly like I expected – unpredictable!”

“If you want to predict the future, just be prepared for it to change as soon as you think you’ve got it figured out!”

“Predicting the future is like trying to fold a fitted sheet perfectly – impossible and bound to give you a headache!”