FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT PRIESTS

“I asked the priest if he could make my absolution gluten-free, and he said, ‘Sorry, no bread crumbs, no forgiveness!'”

“Why did the priest join a gardening club? Because he wanted to cleanse his soil!”

“I told the priest I wanted to donate my body to science. He replied, ‘Sorry, we only accept cash or check.'”

“I asked the priest if he had any holy water on hand. He said, ‘Sure, but it’s going to cost you a pretty penance.'”

“Why did the priest become a stand-up comedian? Because he heard there was more soul in laughter than in confession!”

“I overheard a priest saying, ‘I’m allergic to bad liturgy, it always leaves me in mass hysteria.'”

“I asked the priest if I could bring my dog into the church. He replied, ‘Sure, but make sure he pays his woof-ering!'”

“Why did the priest bring a ladder to the sermon? He wanted to reach new heights of inspiration!”

“I asked the priest if he ever considered a career in music. He said, ‘Sure, but the choir was too holy for my bad singing.'”

“Why was the priest always happy when preaching on water baptism? Because he felt like he was getting in deep!”

“I asked the priest if he ever got tired of saying Mass. He replied, ‘Not really, it’s a sacramental workout!'”

“Why did the priest carry a notebook during confession? Because he wanted to take ‘holy notes’!”

“I asked the priest if he liked going to the beach. He said, ‘Yes, it’s a great place for some divine sunbathing!'”

“Why did the priest love storytelling at church? Because he could always deliver a ‘sermon with a twist’!”

“I asked the priest if he ever got tired of wearing robes. He replied, ‘Only when it’s a mass-ive laundry day!'” QUOTES ABOUT SNEAKY BEHAVIOR

“Why did the priest bring a flashlight to the cemetery? Because he wanted to shed light on the souls who were a little lost!”

“I told the priest I wanted a sermon on humility. He replied, ‘Sorry, that topic is too heavenly for me to grasp!'”

“Why was the priest so good at solving puzzles? Because he always saw the ‘holy picture’!”

“I asked the priest if he ever considered a career as a DJ. He said, ‘Sorry, I’m more of a ‘hymn’ and ‘amen’ guy!'”

“Why did the priest have a hard time playing hide-and-seek? Because he couldn’t ‘priest’ well enough!”

“I told the priest I wanted to learn how to levitate like saints. He replied, ‘Sorry, that skill is ‘heavenly’ guarded!'”

“Why did the priest love playing board games? Because he always felt ‘board’ with the temptation!”

“I asked the priest if it was possible to have confession via video call. He replied, ‘Sorry, there’s no Wi-Fi in salvation!'”

“Why was the priest friends with all the animals? Because he had a ‘divine’ connection with them!”

“I told the priest I wanted to start a bible club for cats. He said, ‘Sure, just make sure they don’t start a ‘Cat-tholic’ movement!'”

“Why did the priest always carry a camera during weddings? Because he wanted to capture ‘holy matrimony’ moments!”

“I asked the priest if he ever considered being a weatherman. He said, ‘Sorry, my predictions are only accurate when praying for rain!'”

“Why did the priest keep a hammer in the confessional? Because he believed in ‘nailing’ down forgiveness!”