![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TUlZTV3EyL21rOXRFZ1JWVUErK2dwVXorWDZkN1JyUDMrSXhqYTdEdXVUZDZiZW9XTjVaOEhmM0JaZTVybXJtdzVqZ1orWFFoRXN6VG9rUktnUi9VaGQ%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(baa22d0d74846240374ca65a6a978e69).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0RXYVYwZjJlWGpleXVtTGJkWStTc3RzWnU3cWxUd2ZiaWNQR0RvVUlYNnRib3NCSnFSUFh3UmhSRnZaZ09mNnZJY1JTZVF2d3BOV2tRbFZBeWZwZXVvaVVKZmlxNEFFNEU3ZXZnNEZnKzYvNzVpaFpBUjFYdWNtT1JXeVlRQUxRdHhCWXJOSzJNeUU3OUJsaWZmTGQzaHUyRENEU1FQbkNSazFlcGd2R3JS/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(421f66dc4502452bfffe11d9c68d4226).jpg)
“I may be the black sheep of the family, but some of the white sheep are not as white as they appear.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYW5xSzdKWHFKTmZncVZZTWNwY29NU1g1YnJreUJ0YldvRHBMNXdxakF6K2x6eW1iRHdqVGdSVDFicGxuWkV5YmhYN0RnQkdMNEROYWhwV1Q1NHdhb0Vsc1paUm5ScWVUSDZyMmVVQUFCSVF0dVRCMS9aZTBaUU9ObmpXRmt1RzJvcUJvTHVBdTcrS2Z6MDFoN1FDM1ZnMllId3dwMTdzWnh3QkpYSndDRTI2/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(129516e738e9ce34586c16a8348312f7).jpg)
“I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDk0cXkyeFR6UzNZR004Z3l3ZldzRlViVzIxUHVla1JuYzVOK3pranQvc2lHMTNuMU96M0RwSUxNZDlHaEFjcDdvTnBKL3JyTVhDQWdCM1AxT3BiMm9wQmMxdTQxS0NBMWpMazZRN2d3NXlWTGVyVkhLblVzZXJwYmVQTDlXcm5jPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(9a9533115c0ced92820be8de32c20a29).jpg)
“I’m not a hoarder, I’m just a collector of memories… and stuff.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZVVLNUlGUzRkK3BadGZhSE5vMjBrclNwM1h2K1NZVWJ2MzhZUFQ2dmtsamN0QjZOOG5YeEg3M2l5WnY1SCtYWmFvQnlHVlMxNjBMc0F2UW5ZcWQ3R1U3OUw0aEtySnVlejlSRlVoWW5DVVpnPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(de32ca5d2fcf60b8b2aec783693a0f91).jpg)
“I’m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWW9tZkY4L29zWGw4RDJOcGhoakhZa2p0R2t3TVNKNGFUa1RYVjkrcmNjUTNDWTFpaDhYdUQzVnVvTGE4ZjdrSit0WGVHSzdETk52R2VWRjF4d1A4aDA9/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(45d5c244b65b1ce6efc33bff03cb439c).jpg)
“I put the ‘Pro’ in procrastination.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMVFBLT000NzVLZldiVStzK3IxZkdlb2hOTVNobDRCVUF4WVBKaERjcE10T3JLNEZ0WktMRjU4VlcvZGl2K1Q5VnVKWXhDZ0F6cy94NGU4Rm04cnR1Mmg%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(6cc3b533358f6ed03796acc7b4dc97cd).jpg)
“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFViYU5MbGRVa0FNNWZuMTFUR2FFTlc1UkhKYU1DTU45d3pxRkFkSVp2eWxLMmtuUEk0SHRBSDVadnBkMTdzdjVEbG56aWowU2FiMzMyMlgvemRwMFpqYzcwY25YYjdxMDdHME9MTDhMa3hsS1NPNHVCNWVmQ1JaeGt6cDhHem9BakM0VDFxZG41YjFqbnB6dnh4WTczT0hNVTFIekNLek5zQk9jWE5vVXhaUT09/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(cf5f2b986ef4b88c82887795098b980a).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, the tables and chairs, too… and let’s not even talk about the walls!”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMUlM3U2lGb3hwMUMzbExlYjA3aUM3TDk3R0p6RnljeWE5a0ppd1pKRlN6QnNUMjA5b2x1Z3BJWUZGemVHRmx5OUNFSGgxdGRsYjlzd3ZrMXpNcTM5cVVPc3hwd1JPTzZFRGtGRXFXSWF2TkZjVS9mYlNGbExPVDQ0SDV3SXB2bVJwby9oMHNIM2RVbG40TmlydjFGRHA4dmZnTnVHTkMxWWwxZEEvTFBIL0Nnd1JLRURKVERZY2dZL2dzR1VISUt1bkpOVVJseVdIQTVIUFlvZFRtV3QzTQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(ca5d0dde497c873a92b820ab8982d037).jpg)
“I tried exercising once but found out I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very, very dangerous.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3diMkZvM2M4bTh5VDdhMmZHeTBWSTBkeHhQYlZZYnZ2MXVveG9EMXh6ak9UbGhWa0tWRWRFdE5oL0dseThwcW92L1phclFCcXdtV3FGbHJNZm1FKzIrYUFhYjFkUlJvNUVJeHJVcXhRMGY%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(e5b0ebbcf8b3d1fd0b3c0be8b2ee1934).jpg)
“My goal in life is to become the person my dog thinks I am.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Zzl6VWdrNllHa3F6L2xFM3lqbFpOVlBlSVFPQ1k5KzdZTytIRDE4cDVrMUJITHl5RTk1K1AxcEtjcXdWSTV0YWFBWFZ5K2N4VXlsNG5PS2pxWTVkbUU%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(f1c1af7565abade755f051268558f00a).jpg)
“I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0tOR21CT0FGNk45NWkyNHVIUXpOTUxmOHk2NXR6TnovcHFYY1QwMlhDRzAvbDlPdFl0MXYrUlhncFVEcVJCV2I2UTJCd2FwZnNFaXVWUGVKbVh0d2dmbjB0VU5DdHM4aW5KZXR5MW8rSHR3PT0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(5bf46e17864289d3f05ecd8774d1e8ad).jpg)
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aWJNRHg2cnR3czN2YnV3Ui9rSFFjMzdPTmlRdUZKcnl1emhpMnMzcksvMG03eFFkV0lHdlhNR2E0aldhWlU3L3Z6dDJRc2UyS2ZoRzZIK3JaU2l2WUg%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(047e6d89357614e5af1c013191fd154c).jpg)
“I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMVHluVkVkZEFUTzh3bks0d3pzNnR6amtxUUV6N0dqUnFyVEJuQ1Z2WEpMSFZQSXp5Vy94K0xERWlQTnY5d2lkdHY1ZnZycHI5c21yakVaZmxkQitXNGg%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(3290f543555bb99c282c632ceacfa8f4).jpg)
“I tried to take a selfie but I ended up calling an exorcist.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY3NXNExFNjNiMWs5UDlKOVJyZlVUcjV5RFdPeXdiNUQwMnh5NXdNd1ZtVXloeG5DMXVhM1RaVnl3NjBvRVpEdmNYaktuUFNLOGVOdlhYcml1ZmgrQ1hKZDNZSVhHTkZXV1dPK3NBVWZvYzBnWkIwTS9CWURucW1wOEoyaHVWMFZBPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(d5f913a0359e4ed65f7e7448ca0da69e).jpg)
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXpVTVpLcjdncC9sV1VQbXVCKy9OWGlvTGVDNXFzNVR6ak1YcW1WaElEODlHOHdyaUpsRXhKaEJhTHdReGk5M1RkbEFWQXNIc2NRL1o5SVhhSWhzdmd0cXpSSzQ2SDFtZ2JuMTJscW5vcndHL2ltelZDUVZ2UWtTRVlHTXVEWUxINE1tSThReTVXaGNneHlVZ0s1bkRlZDU1WkczeTNxZTBIcEZadVNCeUFvaUZBQlV5VGxuYlk5cTRvc2Z5NzhZZz09/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(c3acd423793b90bf7b649e713912e958).jpg)
“If you can’t remember my name, just call me ‘Master of Disguise’.” BOOKS WEAPONS DOCTOR WHO QUOTE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY2VYbXpWM0ViN3ZRY3BBNmFLOTdNaCtjaGU1aXk5aXMxSERya3Y4Z29qYmViRGtuZHlKWUVQNmdSbVRFSEZvTWdRY0NxK1pIc3dhV0o4aDlyTEVxZDA%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(d95cc97ec722441118a1858d6b9c49f6).jpg)
“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY09HK2JKVU5RVVRvdWJpRmcwMG5kSTY3aGJXOXhVaG5EdEhoOXBRam12RnFyaWF3cWU0YmVVVGNsU25JclVMbloxdTl4OFdHT1RSYnJUNXlSdWNnNHU%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(bde45ce3951e9b26c081f079aea3292b).jpg)
“I’m not old, I’m youthfully challenged.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZEowVUd3YjFwNUJaWlRCbEpjS09ZSytoZWtXbkRMQjlEZW1rZUd5VTRGeHFYeFdXbGtaNHZkRUVtN0s3M0NTamhsRW9qMExMZEpFTG9CS3ltQmJDNkcwbEE0VGF5ME1ScTlDMGtFK0wyczFjdk13VzF6aGUyRFhxZlduSFkzK0pnPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(b74583065a99981ebb04446e505f0197).jpg)
“I’m not sarcastic, I’m just having an intelligent conversation with myself.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWR4K2JneDQzbncwNWVnVERJNHk2M0dQWHA4ckNMSzVCTHhEVXVpYVMzYURlZWRMMUkyUlFxQXYxSmpTalQ3V2t1U3hKbXFENkZ4d1BDWE9nWllMVlo%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(d51e0e43006b0bdcbf1499fc2cb0ff02).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZk5idUlhakovekU1T281VU9GMVFvNW5FWTRpL0p0bGlGUE9OM0J4bHJmRUNZZ05KSGpody8yVCsyamNmZnV0L29MYmpYTFV0L09LUSt3dWNIOUk0cW9uTDAzRFlWK2ZibmVYY0wvajVoVnMyTW9BODdzenlrNi9zWVNzSG9meEZkZ0Z1VEtmMTcrSVVRQVF6RUNzTkhT/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(71ba3110d4feb37c77246a5ca2663654).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I just have 8 million tasks on my mind and zero motivation to start any of them.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aW1iT1FLSlRWTUtFZEFSL241cHJpdzhpc1JLeG9CUDdBWFJ5Q1MzL0psS1RCVUpkWHNrTUwwM2tXYjlyL2FTSGR3RU5HT0N0eGVhOHJmQmlSbm1xak4%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(86f420c410ee842f259e9a23b5566a58).jpg)
“I don’t snore, I dream I’m a motorcycle.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1hxVEd6YnpUVG1oRFJiTEE0dkFMMFZHTW51VUZ2ZmtWUmtiQmdPeWZrdEJwZ0VmSEdzZk9KekhMaTVzQ0xMak5ralRIZ2RrcFBBbis5Qm9rMHNmM1UvUWRrY0RLbzBULzlZUEVlSHZTRWRodXRxSzB0OXFmYWxjYkNqQnZodStmWUVuZm52MktweiszSEc2Y1UzWmx5/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(8e788ba0d99bef52a9b6dbc622edc587).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the world around me that’s filled with traps and obstacles.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEpxOC9KV1RJR0NmTWVUNjBqS1lPUTQ1THNQSzRvQ2k3NTFKT1o1SXh5WldpelBJb0NBbWM1eFhCVlVzQkcxbVZRakt5dVgyMTN2OGpURjdCa0MyN01FamJlcUozc0pscUx6c2FRWUR1Zzh1TWt2WVc1ckQ0cTFwOU5jVTBQWGZtM3VtMnFPSEhzeXVGd0NyS1k1SFFidHZmNVlWcUVJbTNNbERsNU1BalUy/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(241e09806fadb904fefa123197864d43).jpg)
“I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I do own a pair of gold-plated chopsticks.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aTlKNXhoeWhCNS9jU1hyQ2FLOHdJdy9oS1o2ZmJHb0ZqNTh4WmNjejh3dkRKUUFFNnV2djMwL2ErZmdZMDhERUxQRzgwOHVDWlJyYjh5MWZYejRnOGU%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(e389eadb3751ef2b0be58df7a31b3ab3).jpg)
“I don’t need an alarm clock, my ideas wake me up.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZlNyQk0ydjk0NUJVUCtKRHgwOUJ5R2xGMVpBNU9GT2pmYUN5SnFuYnhIb0VnbzRhSEtHcEZ5bWFPRm1Mb2hwNHZkTjZCM2xnR0ZyVjZkczNWYWVFaHdoVGw1dmFtTXdLWG9xUkR4YW51MVl3PT0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(969277ddef157654225029d50d3cea40).jpg)
“I’m not forgetful, I’m selectively remembering important things.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z0ZjRzVFTEJhcmszUFoxQndJM3FncUdGa1ZsR1BOdTF0UUtMOXFuTHlxanp1bU9kaDlzZy9nRlVJNkVWQ3JaSFF0TTVFVDU3dEZkSWZZSnN1ZG5yNUY%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(295d522b37d519dab8e602ae07c6fd17).jpg)
“I don’t make mistakes, I create learning opportunities.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZlhtV1dnQmNNdWhpU2xtaXpaZ1NVMlR2TFpOYmNSa3V6amh6WVpQdVp5R1JCd1JrRXFYNjJiZ0JYWWswNXRjY2RGRzJ3RzJiTW5peVZCM1ZVd2trUG03QlMyVmNGa1NXazZ2S3FCRE9WODJVOE1tVGVud2VmOGFCVmZXdEtYSlJVPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(f61405c04542bfd0e7ae0698dfc58e9e).jpg)
“I’m not indecisive, I’m just masterfully contemplating multiple options.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZVNCQXZrdkFvU0FxN3ExcGtrb1QxaFkxNkpTOFgvMnJ1NnVSVjRHYWJndkJDZmtaM25xNHpGNHZ4eTFjd2tiZUgzNDluS0dDYmNNMisrQ2p1TjR5RlY%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(1bc6589529182531d212e82d9f6b3ab9).jpg)
“I’m not a control freak, I just like things done my way.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZisraWc5ZlA1VnRMa1l3dmpXUFRSUEdQSXFCbTFSckJDcStSRFFtN056Sld6M09ZaEMrUXRRWXFHZEdBVHc5S2ltQXBZQU5MemNRZnRKZkVDUWNiMm0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ABOUT+SELF/(0a3caa88c877584155d477a8d5dc9193).jpg)
“I’m not awkward, I’m just fluent in weirdness.”