FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT WOMEN

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“I am a woman of many moods, and they all require chocolate.” – Unknown

“I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.” – Unknown

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, then she hugged me.” – Unknown

“I know I’m a handful, but that’s why you have two hands.” – Unknown

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.” – Unknown

“I’m not bossy, I just have leadership skills.” – Unknown

“I’m not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I’m not dumb… and I’m also not blonde.” – Dolly Parton

“If a woman’s place is in the kitchen, why do we have all these fancy restaurants?” – Unknown

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“I refuse to go on a date that doesn’t involve food. I’m not wasting an outfit for just drinks.” – Unknown

“I don’t need Prince Charming to have my own happy ever after. I just need WiFi.” – Unknown I LOVE YOU AND I LIKE YOU QUOTE

“I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“Women drivers rev my engine.” – Unknown

“I don’t care what you think of me. Unless you think I’m awesome. In that case – you’re right. Carry on!” – Unknown

“I’m not sure if I should clean my house or start a new life.” – Unknown

“My definition of a seven-course meal is a pizza in each hand.” – Unknown

“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.” – Unknown

“Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.” – George Carlin

“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“I may be a woman, but I can do anything a man can do – except pee standing up.” – Unknown

“My perfect date night is a bottle of wine, a good movie, and my husband away from home.” – Unknown

“I don’t need love, I need wifi.” – Unknown

“I love sleep because it’s like a time machine to breakfast.” – Unknown