FUNNY QUOTES FOR BOREDOM

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”

“If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ and I’ll turn around.”

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I had to do.”

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

“Diet? I thought you said pie and fries!”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a secret mission to test gravity.”

“When nothing goes right, go left.”

“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.”

“If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.”

“I love deadlines, especially the whooshing sound they make as they go by.”

“Do I run? Yes, out of patience, out of time, and occasionally, out of money.”

“I’ve reached the age where my brain goes from ‘You probably shouldn’t say that’ to ‘What the heck, let’s see what happens.'”

“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream, which is pretty much the same thing.” THE 100 QUOTE

“I can’t control everything in my life, but I can control how I react to it. I choose laughter.”

“I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.”

“I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.”

“You can’t please everyone, and you certainly shouldn’t try. But if you can make some people snort-laugh in the process, why not?”

“I’m not procrastinating, I’m just awaiting the arrival of my inspiration.”

“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!”

“When life gives you lemons, make sure you have vodka and tequila nearby.”

“I don’t need anger management, I just need people to stop pissing me off.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for future endeavors.”