FUNNY QUOTES FOR MARRIED COUPLES

“Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.” – Unknown

“Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops!” – Unknown

“Marriage is all about finding that one person who is willing to be just as weird as you are.” – Unknown

“Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you just wish you had a club and a spade!” – Unknown

“Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.” – Unknown

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams… unless your spouse keeps snoring.” – Unknown

“My wife told me I should embrace my flaws, so I locked the door.” – Unknown

“They say opposites attract. My wife and I are a perfect example. I’m quiet and she’s the one who never stops talking.” – Unknown

“Marriage is like a game of chess, except your spouse is always the queen, and you’re just hoping not to be checkmated.” – Unknown

“Marriage: the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” – Unknown

“The secret to a happy marriage is a sense of humor coupled with selective hearing.” – Unknown

“Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other person is the husband.” – Unknown FUNNY COMPLIANCE QUOTES

“My wife and I have a great system. I make all the big decisions, and she makes all the small decisions. Luckily, there aren’t any big decisions.” – Unknown

“The best marriage advice I can give is to keep your spouse happy by never revealing how much you paid for their birthday gift.” – Unknown

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person because no one else would put up with us.” – Unknown

“Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other is the husband who just nods and says, ‘Yes, dear.'” – Unknown

“Husbands are like wine; they take time to mature. Unfortunately, I’m married to a vineyard.” – Unknown

“Marriage is a bond where one person is always right, and the other person is the husband!” – Unknown

“Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” – Unknown

“Before we got married, I used to dream about forever. Now I just dream about sleep.” – Unknown

“Marriage is the process of finding out which hand towels you can use and which ones are decorative.” – Unknown

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret, because if I tell you, my wife will kill me.” – Unknown

“Marriage is like a game of cards. First, you have to deal with hearts and diamonds, then with clubs and spades.” – Unknown