FUNNY QUOTES FOR NEW YEAR

“New Year’s Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” – Mark Twain

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” – Oprah Winfrey

“My New Year’s resolution is to eat less so I can still fit into my favorite jeans… that are currently a year old.”

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” – Joey Adams

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama

“I stopped drinking for a week and felt great! Then I looked at the calendar. It was only Monday!”

“My resolution for this year is to be more adventurous… maybe I’ll start by trying a new brand of cereal!”

“May your New Year’s Eve party be just as awkward as everything else in your life.”

“May your Netflix subscription outlast your gym membership.”

“A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.”

“I’m not making any new resolutions for this year… because I’m already perfect!”

“May your troubles be less, and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door.” QUOTES ABOUT CLOSE FRIENDSHIP

“My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full of either rum, vodka, or whiskey.”

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown

“I can’t believe it’s already been a whole year since I didn’t become a better person.”

“I thought I made a mistake once, but it turned out I was wrong.”

“May all your troubles in the coming year be as short-lived as your resolutions.”

“May all your weight loss aspirations be on the tip of your tongue and not on your hips!”

“My New Year’s resolution is to be less perfect. I’ll start by avoiding reading magazines with airbrushed models!”

“May your wine cellar be filled with bottles less empty than your bank account.”

“May the New Year bring you significantly fewer email forwards than last year!”

“I’m not a Facebook status. You don’t have to like me.”

“My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating… starting next week!”