FUNNY QUOTES FOR WORK FRIENDS

“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.”

“Work hard, nap harder.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“I love my job only when I’m on vacation.”

“If you think your job is boring, remember someone is actually working as a professional line sitter.”

“My job description? Smiling politely and suppressing thoughts.”

“Work smarter, not harder. Or just find someone who already did and copy their work.”

“I consider my coworkers as my second family – which means I have two families that I avoid on weekends.”

“I’m not late. I’m on a flexible arrival time schedule.”

“The only thing standing between me and success at work is the snooze button on my alarm clock.”

“Teamwork is important; it helps you listen to others complain about the same boss.”

“I’m not a control freak; I just have good ideas that need to be executed properly.” DAD I MISS YOU QUOTES

“I don’t always tolerate annoying coworkers, but when I do, I’m at work.”

“The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.”

“I don’t have a 9 to 5 job; it’s more like an ‘It’s 5 o’clock somewhere’ kind of gig.”

“Here’s to a long and prosperous career of pretending to work.”

“Coffee: because adulting is hard.”

“My coworkers were unable to find the ‘any’ key on the keyboard. It’s an ongoing investigation.”

“I accidentally fell asleep during a meeting and nobody noticed. I consider it a successful career move.”

“I’m not bossy; I just know what you should be doing.”

“I don’t need a fortune teller to know where my career is headed – straight to the office every morning.”

“I didn’t choose the work life; the work life chose me.”

“Workmates: the only people who can make the office feel like a second home, with better snacks and less privacy.”