FUNNY QUOTES LONG

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“I don’t need anger management; I need people to stop irritating me.”

“I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!”

“I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”

“I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.”

“If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me.”

“I’m not indecisive. Unless you count choosing what to eat for dinner.”

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.”

“I may be quiet, but I have so many thoughts screaming in my head that I sometimes need to wear earplugs.”

“Some people call me sarcastic. I call it being fluent in intelligent conversation.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.”

“I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.”

“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesomeness.” HOW MUCH I MISS YOU QUOTES FOR HER

“I’m not funny, I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.”

“I have a personality that is a mix of sarcasm, wine, and everything fine.”

“I’m not trying to be difficult, it just comes naturally.”

“My patience is as thin as my laptop’s battery life.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity’s best friend.”

“I’m not a morning person. I’m barely even an afternoon person.”

“My signature move is awkwardly waving at someone who was actually waving at the person behind me.”

“I’m not procrastinating, I’m taking strategic breaks.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I don’t snore; I dream I’m a motorcycle.”

“I’m allergic to stupidity; I break out in sarcasm.”