![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVitycWlwejQ3YzlTRlF0azJ6WWd2UWdMdkJSRTVMZjM1WXNGTmVYaXNaUVduMHZMZXcxZk1weUVya2ZHZ1hxclVWRHBJK2xIOE1PWFBNUU8vQTkxR2t6ekhCd01ZVUZLcndGV2U1UW9wN2ttR1lMUXhmaGZ5Q1hheW1GbnUydGZnPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(503b65c1d20552578d9807b5bccff6e5).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…she hugged me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUp6SWlDQ21oZWlVekt4K3hJMTM3cjBjdVJyNHBjeXVlc1JlN1hWaTgzWmpBdWtDcHE0NUxtTzRNUnhmSmdOK3B4alExRmF1ZUF4RFBkOHJGQ1V5cjVSa0dHR1d1SjZPR05XY1pYSGw0ZmE%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(0762170e152d6baf0753a83805270acf).jpg)
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteEtNb1E1bjlPNjBhZkw4MlNBYzV6Kzd2Vmt4c2ltc1IzVzNtdlA4R3NhTEZHOG5wd2pWbHZaTGd3ZFJoc3Q4ZHd3RzExLzlrTDhwdURmZjFBSjVIZTQ%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(0fac13a14fea2031d48a3646f783568f).jpg)
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZnRrRGdkVGhOSC91OWZONkFOajlMVm02elNLYW83akZyV0dLWVYrK3l1bzdTQWl0Q2h1NE8vanVqTzJsb3hTZVo%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(d8c401eb8f2fc775c3819afcc0d7f3c3).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkl5RGYrWXRKdHY3NGQ4NTZXYkJtQ05RTEsvdy9TN3Fub3lFSGY2ZEtOdEtoNzFWS3kvejBZd3ZoUHZ0eURvZ2M1VmVLS0FTMHVSbUhXcGUzRUQxZDRFN044UG1FRVlFME93N3VrTzNqSCtJSktEUnFUa2g4Z0xqeFRhblBnYURZUlhGeHJSQnRXT21CNExBMU5ZS2FZPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(dcd124bb405147e436fe19e9b6443074).jpg)
“I follow the ‘Cinderella Rule’: if my shoe fits, I’m not buying it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMUnBWUW45REtnZi9pRmN1ajRaenRUVFczcjFMaFFBVGp1MVhIakxVeUxoQk13RFQ3SVBieGxZQ1paWTZEdEVqeUU9/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(fc998bf865ce3368116e1a71645f737a).jpg)
“I tried to catch some fog. I mist.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0FlWjlFeUtrNG90TXJHeE9xaCtTcjdkZmsycEFTbFZOTGd5RDdENVgyaHVXMHJYK3RiamU2MkF0aE1RbGs5c1JjWnR1MzdPMXQvb0MzWGdrQUtVQ0t3aEQxeHZoeU81bkVteTlUc3Z1b2IydVgrL0hqSXd6aEc0YTBEcU4xd2xRPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(e9a5e6b7a35e9dfa903372ef5238e3f5).jpg)
“Some people bring happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWUlJwQzF0cWlvTjJpQ3JPNUJRN00rNzBGOFZ2MWpDTFh3MFE2TUE0aU1udVI1WDgwd1JlR2xjUmhvTGxsOWV3ZGs9/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(5639f03182d657c00677bb4db26c78e2).jpg)
“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUU03R3E2MFpDekY4TnI1Nkg2N1JrQUhRL0IzWkhGYlhvMTRsS3dXbzFManN0d1pkdHdUUnlrQWFpTUNSQkZ6YzlRRmlKVEpBVldJOCtpQ0NZRkp3N2ZGZkNvU21SeE1Sa1Y4dExkUFBOeUU%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(caa7d11e83686e32689da15255683830).jpg)
“I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFViYU5MbGRVa0FNNWZuMTFUR2FFTlc1UkhKYU1DTU45d3pxRkFkSVp2eXNERXlWTHhPTldSemNrNWdhQ2NsbmM9/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(bf21d8d807beddbd214d368ce009ac91).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjRkWGZHN0VDK2Z5S1BxeUVyeVF4QWh2TUNCRnp1OWZNM0gydXA5TDk3akd6YWdrd2JjUmRwdWU0dGZKSWRmTlh1ZjNWSjlsc0dsWm5PUjZrNXhhQmlFbW5FQ1BSMHVaaS9NbFJIQWpZZEhJRGRZY2NseEJpNE9TTWhSaHB5TW9BPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(9bf68474ac0f32e725c172190ee0e0ba).jpg)
“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWR4K2JneDQzbncwNWVnVERJNHk2M0dQWHA4ckNMSzVCTHhEVXVpYVMzYURlZWRMMUkyUlFxQXYxSmpTalQ3V2t1U3hKbXFENkZ4d1BDWE9nWllMVlo%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(d51e0e43006b0bdcbf1499fc2cb0ff02).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVVVYR0d0cFlOQml2N0N5SnFVSlNwSkdQZlpwaE1qbEh1SDMza3pmNXY1YVFab0g0MzU5Ukl1Ny9vMUhXZldPVyttRkdSN3lzZzEvMUdmbzAyaEM0L3U3bU5SaTZSOExiMUthY203YWNnTlNMdkt2d2RPa1pxZVcrQlc3ak1VVUwxR0Noc3JCc3RPdlNmazk5NlpnK1FOTkJYV0xnMU10eFZXaEhSOVJpSWJjZz09/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(4dae644c60daf274a9900cffb2c35d92).jpg)
“I asked my dog what’s 2 minus 2? He just stared blankly at me and I realized he’s not very good at math.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkY1ZTRNWG5MV0JLUFF2R1loakExOWduN3U4VjNTRGVTVytIdzJHUXF4SitPVllmbmhjMHorN0xlNUlxZDM0YlBCME93SUM1T1IvamwyWlJEOXA5Nm1DMXNsRTVzd3UwbnJHUWhvOUNMVDdPZDRlMm15SjhUNjdQdUwweVpiUGYvUmtVU1lzL3dtUXhnc3Q4a0FEWWI1UjRIUGZhN0VBdGwrOVdwNjBGVWhP/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(3098e15c6dc099ad3ae645ed36d6d796).jpg)
“The closest some people ever come to a diet is deleting food photos from their phone.” SHORT KPOP QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZjZaL0hNRnpxWTlWVzBJeDVYbU5Eb20yQlp4UjFwcWxpTkk1RVhLOGx2WTlzR3Nzdy9QeVNsYlZXTXh2YVZBeDRLdXhMZEhHNTNvSVVpNDl4SStBb2t5NW1MR2xPdWtyQnU2b3UvUDVrUWhYYUgrdWp6RXNOUzN2bUlsS2tsVXNiV1VEVU4vbGVhalR1VHpHbmoxazdmSFFKNnI5eEJURkEyU0w4T056a1BtUkJ5Sm9Vb3cvZVZJT2FOaVhmUFBhMC9STW5nNXFKL2NLS01EaEppWXdlaQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(57b969e0a77b86fd848bc3d6a621d6dd).jpg)
“I’m not normally a praying person, but if you’re up there, please don’t let me win the lottery. You’ll never see me again.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1ErNldUQm00dE94Q25FcytNc2UvRTBSa0VDd3ZNcVdZZ0h4NGd4cy9CRG9Hb0ZqclNoZzhKcm40Qk9lZm4wTTFYQmZLV3doTmFjMVZOaE9BTUJkZElMNy9kanVlSms4MTNwcHU3c1B6TENaaTNoZlgvQ0JRZVEwNG42OWVUdDZBPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(e871d9b755e5c23d408f6a0595cf65d7).jpg)
“Don’t be a salad, be the best damn broccoli you could ever be.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V3NGandRQmtnaDVMTWVTeno2R2RZRStqOElQMm5GOWFSUU5rZ0hKM1k0UlNZdmdxUitHVS83bEdxSndEOTQrdW0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(8f770d03e0930c2e7592a460fe5d5985).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWWJUL0gyTi9PZ0RRYUd3QmNZQk5sV0RxU0RDMmM0SzZpODI1dWZaaEhhSGt3Sy9DUWlWNVR3a2ovOFFpcFZOb1RhSmhhWmxORmFKdWZoMTJtRk8wRm5vdXExenZhVHA2M3VMWHdjUkN3NmNxU1lwT0JIc3JHVW9lbVNYQjdSN2xnPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(49f96d2366b319598dbc3db694525c8e).jpg)
“If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aVVrNmUxUFdZMG5Lb1VOK1hqcUYyWjdvNVEwZlBVSXgxQ080UGFrT283U0lpK1VrM3U3cEQxQlo3Qk90RDZ0RWVFVERxY1VoKzBWOFpQQlBMeXdnYUY3QVBnSUZxQmVyWVZKcHVHZ1l6MExheENNMUlvaTdYZ1k1ZEZGM3FWZ0FzPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(87825e88ed51646d5ee2cac621f5bf4f).jpg)
“I don’t need anger management… I need people to stop making me angry.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZTA1eVExNUViaCtqdHRtS2JuQ0RhZVpodCtMNUZUTVBXcTFQN3huSklsRmxlbERWSjZiVHlNQlRtQ20rMGpNOEdtS041T2plWDlZcGJSQVdSRllBNW4%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(6c0285b3408fba406f0b1e1100f8fd0d).jpg)
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just allergic to stupidity.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUl6YmJBNU8xem5vY29vbHRMOFRTWlJDdzlVaWxFaTZPV3dYNFpab1h2Vkc5b05LdDF6M2Excmd5eVowbmIyL09weUxiSzdoYlQ0b0FXT2JUaVJwNzQ9/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(d7c81b2793fda9d99621217261e714e4).jpg)
“When life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkphZWxiSUVyWlpBOUVTUSswejl4bXQ1eUg2SC9NdExDb3NMcVZoRE1WN1ZaMmlWQ1BNR1BiQm5aOXJ0TEdTWXdOWXlnQkRRMTRuNFJSc2hmKy9VdXU%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(96c71cadea9c7ee7d1c386a18f869a61).jpg)
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV2hzOHJIbUY0akRoSnVvSGd4ajIzM2w5V3lhQ3FwbHl4cFBlbDBBcVozSlNwM3FuQVNDenRIUWVVUlVCNWZPVUxLV2l3cXBCMzY1ZmNiamtWVy9Dck1NZHJYNFpUeCtYVEIyQmxWbjVnZUtZL0M2V0JGMkRlMzA4cE1BN1piUWExZkp3RW94V0ozeWQ4ajljTXF6M3ZLVFRkMjN2bEJPSXpCeUpFbkVlMmMw/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(0d8a367f4d067e817f77a4c3f85f3ac3).jpg)
“If there’s a will, there’s a way. And if there’s a way, I’ll probably take a nap on it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUhtam5XalBwQTFwYWFjRGpFRlhMbmcxTU5ORUI1MFB0eS92cU5uQkRIMXJENW9MMjVPenhIV2lXdFBwSTQrTnRPR0ZPYVc1VC9tSW4zNHN4Um8yUHQwdGpTT2RxczVMWWIycTVyZkFCTHVwNW1kNzBWWThZUmhjSGJzVXFrdFNRPT0%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(16f50e220d39bd78bba3c02639831bb5).jpg)
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVmw5UGsvZFNhR09lY1JyYWw1TkU1ZThoOHdLQ1JBNXBxZ3R1SkZtUlVEYlFFWHI2Vks3dDJ1RU5DWDlVSVdCdElQVGIzQUdLRGYwMkIrWnNHWnpXTU09/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(7b5262e6b2785d616f039404ac6b6aef).jpg)
“A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY295dTI4dEhiWE9udVdrNWFqNVZ1NlF6YmIzYVlmYm1SQXQrQ01EWFlvS1Y5ZnBIVE9tc2tnTDhRK2hQUkN6UVJoLzYyd3dReUVtc3V3OTJpa3hlNHpGTkpNcklCNWx3ZnhtTzlTK3Fmb1RWNDJ1TUVPbVRzZDlNSHgvNkhpZGdFPQ%3D%3D/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(f7ebbc4f5ca25a0a60210d7ebeffc4de).jpg)
“I’m not feeling very worky today. I could really use a nap and a million dollars.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVlhqSmxFdjN1Uldpd0NUNW9ETVFQY1RRWCtrZUVmUEJzdVpSTHdpSWNJWmJkZG0rRWZYTzhzNnVPeDBZWkNjU0dLd2ZzTnVtMXJUTUU5YnJtSVB1QXRjV3l5aFFpTytQWWtXWEZPd0thd0RJei9MaFRHVG1DWWJpbTRhd3ZoWGxkYmZtS2RvUG1nZW96VWxxUDN6VmZx/FUNNY+QUOTES+ON+DOMAIN_6/(7fb31c1b52da1652bfbef3cc0e40f794).jpg)
“I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'”