FUNNY QUOTES ON HUSBAND AND WIFE RELATIONSHIP

“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.” – Unknown

“Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comedian. You need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.” – Unknown

“Husbands are like wine; they take a long time to mature.” – Unknown

“Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her, or she’ll take it anyway.” – Joey Adams

“My wife tells me I can join her Weight Watchers program, but that’s where I draw the line.” – Unknown

“My husband and I have a secret to making our marriage work. Two nights a week, we go out for a nice dinner. The rest of the week, he eats and I watch him.” – Unknown

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“My wife said I never listen to her. At least, I think that’s what she said.” – Unknown

“Behind every great husband is an astonished wife.” – Unknown

“Keep calm and be a good husband. No, it doesn’t work. Let’s try keep calm and let your wife handle it.” – Unknown

“A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.” – Unknown GOING TO MAKE IT QUOTES

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman

“My wife gets all the love letters. I get all the bills.” – Unknown

“Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night wondering how to propose. After marriage, he will lie awake all night wondering what he did wrong.” – Unknown

“There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is, I’ll get married again.” – Clint Eastwood

“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” – Unknown

“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – H. V. Prochnow

“The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes.” – Unknown

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Unknown

“Husbands are like fine wine; they take a long time to mature.” – Unknown

“Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.” – Mae West