“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a constant mission to test gravity.”

“I’m not a morning person. I prefer to greet the day with a sarcastic comment and a strong cup of coffee.”

“I don’t need anger management. I just need people to stop pissing me off.”

“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!”

“I’ve reached that age where my under-eye bags are bigger than my plans for the weekend.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth!”

“I believe in the power of laughter. It keeps me from punching people in the face.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

“I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry.”

“When life gives you lemons, throw them at someone. Preferably, a person you don’t like.”

“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” LEADERSHIP AND MOTIVATION QUOTES

“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.”

“I’m not addicted to chocolate. We are just in a committed relationship.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just dancing to the beat of a floor that hates me.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“If at first, you don’t succeed, call it version 0.”

“I’m not a morning person. I’m more of a ‘mornings are for coffee and contemplation’ kind of person.”

“I’m not shy, I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate people.”

“I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas than everyone else.”

“I’m not a morning person. My alarm clock and I have a hate-hate relationship.”

“I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.”

“I’m not a procrastinator. I’m just extremely good at doing things later.”

“I’m not lazy. I’m just in energy-saving mode.”