FUNNY QUOTES THAT MAKE YOU LAUGH

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to test gravity constantly.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.”

“I don’t like to think before I speak, I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.”

“I don’t have a beer belly, I have a protective covering for my rock-hard abs!”

“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.”

“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”

“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So, I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I put my phone in airplane mode but it’s not flying. Clearly, it’s broken.”

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”

“I’m not aging, I’m just increasing in value!”

“The only exercise I do is running late to meet people.”

“If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy, I’d probably hire someone to pick up the money for me.”

“I’m not short, I’m just vertically efficient.”

“I don’t diet, I just eat everything that’s suitable for my taste buds.”

“I don’t snore, I’m just a dream monster vocalist.” SHORT FUNNY FRIENDSHIP QUOTES IN ENGLISH

“I am not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“I don’t play hide-and-seek, I hide-and-pray-they-can’t-find-me.”

“I tried to be normal but it didn’t suit me, so I went back to being myself.”

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”

“I don’t need anger management, people just need to stop making me mad.”

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from everyone else’s.”

“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.”

“I don’t get older, I level up!”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just a ninja in training.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just extremely efficient at doing nothing.”

“I wanted to lose weight, but I hate losing, so…I just ate a little less.”

“I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.”

“I woke up this morning and realized I don’t have what it takes to sit and do nothing all day.”