FUNNY QUOTES TO CHEER A FRIEND UP

“A day without laughter is like a pencil without lead.” – Unknown

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Unknown

“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?” – Unknown

“I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'” – Unknown

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.” – Unknown

“I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.” – Unknown

“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.” – Unknown

“The hardest part of working out is getting out of bed. The second hardest part is actually working out.” – Unknown

“Whenever I clean my house, I just end up making it dirtier. So, now I call it exercising.” – Unknown

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown

“If a redhead works at a bakery, does that make them the gingerbread man?” – Unknown

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” – Unknown TAURUS SHORT QUOTES

“Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?” – Phyllis Diller

“I’m not clumsy. It’s just that the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown

“Out of all the lies I’ve told, ‘Just one more episode’ may be my favorite.” – Unknown

“I hate studying for exams, but I try to have a positive mindset. So, I tell myself, ‘I’m not going to fail. I’m going to baffle the teachers with my creativity.'” – Unknown

“I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I’m still looking for ideas.” – Unknown

“I told my computer that I needed a break, and it gave me a KitKat.” – Unknown

“A clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory.” – Unknown

“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So, now I drink in front of a mirror.” – Unknown

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve already lost three days.” – Tommy Cooper